Funny Friday!!!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
How to translate email jargon...
Hope this helps = Stop bothering me
Thanks in advance = You must do this, since I've already thanked you.
Moving along (or That being said) = Get over it and move on.
Kind regards = I could not think of anything sincere to say (sort of like F-you)
Sorry for being unclear = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
As stated below = Re-read the entire email chain that was already sent and stop waisting my time.
Let me clarify = You completely misunderstood my last message, you idiot! Read it again. Stop waisting my time.
Just checking in = I'm going to keep sending emails until you respond.
(Or if it is from my mother, a reminder that I have not called her in a while).
It has been brought to my attention = You F-ed Up!
Hope this helps and have a nice day!
Hope this helps = Stop bothering me
Thanks in advance = You must do this, since I've already thanked you.
Moving along (or That being said) = Get over it and move on.
Kind regards = I could not think of anything sincere to say (sort of like F-you)
These are all versions of the same thing..
Per my last email = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.Sorry for being unclear = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
As stated below = Re-read the entire email chain that was already sent and stop waisting my time.
Let me clarify = You completely misunderstood my last message, you idiot! Read it again. Stop waisting my time.
Just checking in = I'm going to keep sending emails until you respond.
(Or if it is from my mother, a reminder that I have not called her in a while).
It has been brought to my attention = You F-ed Up!
Hope this helps and have a nice day!
Tom,
You better hope the wife doesn't look over your shoulder and sees this. Otherwise, it's "Dead Man Walking"
@WayneH judging by the little hand lotion bottle and tiny soap in the background I was thinking - never use the iron in the hotel room!
jssailem
SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
- Oct 22, 2014
- 21,975
I use these tactful lines in many of my communications at work.How to translate email jargon...
Hope this helps = Stop bothering me
Thanks in advance = You must do this, since I've already thanked you.
Moving along (or That being said) = Get over it and move on.
Kind regards = I could not think of anything sincere to say (sort of like F-you)
These are all versions of the same thing..Per my last email = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
Sorry for being unclear = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
As stated below = Re-read the entire email chain that was already sent and stop waisting my time.
Let me clarify = You completely misunderstood my last message, you idiot! Read it again. Stop waisting my time.
Just checking in = I'm going to keep sending emails until you respond.
(Or if it is from my mother, a reminder that I have not called her in a while).
It has been brought to my attention = You F-ed Up!
Hope this helps and have a nice day!
I'm thinking it might be uncool to quote yourself but... I just got a new one sent to me today by a sales-jerkHow to translate email jargon...
Hope this helps = Stop bothering me
Thanks in advance = You must do this, since I've already thanked you.
Moving along (or That being said) = Get over it and move on.
Kind regards = I could not think of anything sincere to say (sort of like F-you)
These are all versions of the same thing..Per my last email = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
Sorry for being unclear = Re-read what I already sent and stop waisting my time.
As stated below = Re-read the entire email chain that was already sent and stop waisting my time.
Let me clarify = You completely misunderstood my last message, you idiot! Read it again. Stop waisting my time.
Just checking in = I'm going to keep sending emails until you respond.
(Or if it is from my mother, a reminder that I have not called her in a while).
It has been brought to my attention = You F-ed Up!
Hope this helps and have a nice day!
Bringing this back to the top of your inbox
woof! Thats some big brass-ones there. Like I'm going to buy something from this guy now.
An old man goes to Confession. He tells the priest that on Friday night, he’d been in the bar when he met a young woman. “Maybe 22,” he says. “A gorgeous blonde. I started lusting, Father.”
“Yes,” says the priest, “Lust is a dangerous sin.”
“There’s more,” says the man. “We went back to her place and made passionate love for hours.”
The priest pauses. “And how long has it been since your last confession?”
“Oh, I’ve never been to Confession. This is my first.”
“How is this your first Confession?”
“I’m Jewish.”
“Then… why are you confessing now?”
“confessing? No. I’m telling everyone!”
-Will
“Yes,” says the priest, “Lust is a dangerous sin.”
“There’s more,” says the man. “We went back to her place and made passionate love for hours.”
The priest pauses. “And how long has it been since your last confession?”
“Oh, I’ve never been to Confession. This is my first.”
“How is this your first Confession?”
“I’m Jewish.”
“Then… why are you confessing now?”
“confessing? No. I’m telling everyone!”
-Will
A young man wearing the hippest styles of his generation walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.
I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive around in his 2021 Mercedes-Benz, and he will supply all of your clothes."
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather indulgent lifestyle."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're BS'ing me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."
He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just hate drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.
I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You will have to drive around in his 2021 Mercedes-Benz, and he will supply all of your clothes."
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather indulgent lifestyle."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're BS'ing me!"
The social worker said, "Yeah, well... you started it."