Funny Friday!!!

[rgranger]

Boudreaux and Clotile built a small house on the Bayou Teche. It was their dream house... it had a front porch and a small garden out back. One day Boud looks our da kitchen window and notice Clotile bent over pulling weeds . And when Boudreaux’s eye wandered across the bayou he sees his across neighbor looking up Clotilde’s skirt wid some noculars . Boudreaux went wild with rage. It went something like this

“ CLARANCE! I SEED WHAT YOU JUS DID! I SEED IT WID MY TWO EYES! YOU LUCKY THE PARISH HAS NO BRIDGE HERE OR I COME OVER AND PASS MY FIST BY YOU CHIN YEAH!!!!!”

This started a mesentente that lasted for years...Most days, Clarance and Boudreaux would come home from work and start shouting at each other right away. I think Clotile liked the attention. One day the parish come and build a bridge not far from Boudreaux's house and Clotile started to egg Boudreaux on “now’s your chance Boud, nows your chance”.

So Boudreaux do what he must do and he starts over the bridge... Clotile got excited...but Clotile see Boudreaux stop half way and start to pullin' on his chin... then he turn around and headed back... Clotile met him at the bottom of the bridge and before she could start in on Boudreaux ... Boudreaux say.

“Now don’t start on me Clot'... I ain’t changed my mind about passing my fist over Clarance’s chin but ima gonna need a step ladder. The parish put a sign on the bridge says Clearance 13’2”

 

[leo310]

 

[rgranger]

Well Thibodaux and Boudreaux lost their jobs and went to the unemployment office for help. After waiting in line for a spell a nice lady axe Thibodaux to step to the counter and she starts collecting his information. After she gets the basic address info, she axe Thibodaux what his job had been. Thibodaux tells her "I am a wood cutter". The nice lady writes that down and then looks at Thibodaux with sad eyes and says.... "Monsieur Thibodaux, I fear there is not much demand for unskilled labor right now and it may be very hard to find you a new job. Are there any other skills you have?" Thibodaux feels a little shame but he scratch his head for a while and then says, "I can skin a nutria in 5 seconds". The nice lady just smiles weakly and writes that on his form.

Next, the nice lady axe Boudreaux to step up and after taking his information, she axe Boudreaux what his job had been. Boudreaux says "I am a pilot". The lady smiles and says, "Monsieur Boudreaux, with skills and training like that, I'm sure we can help you find another job". Well Thibodaux had heard all of this and he gets mad and walks up beside Bouldreaux at the counter and starts to fuss at the lady. Thibodaux says... "what you mean you can find a job for Boudreaux but not for me?" The nice lady says to Monsieur Thibodaux... "well sir, there is just not a lot of demand for unskilled labor". Thibodaux's eyes widen with indignation and he shouts... "what do you mean by unskilled? I'm the one who cuts the damn wood! All Boudreaux does is pile it".

 

[Will Gilmore]

Boudreaux's Definitions Of "Success"​

When you are two years old, success is not peeing in your pants.

When you are 16, success is "Gettin' a little".

When you are 40, success is all about having had a great career and family life.

When you are 65, sucess is "Gettin a little".

And when you are 80, success is not peeing in your pants.

I don't believe I met any of those marks so far.

-Will

 

[rgranger]

Boudreaux's Definitions Of "Success"​

When you are two years old, success is not peeing in your pants.

When you are 16, success is "Gettin' a little".

When you are 40, success is all about having had a great career and family life.

When you are 65, sucess is "Gettin a little".

And when you are 80, success is not peeing in your pants.

I don't believe I met any of those marks so far.

-Will

Just wait until you are 80... you might still get there

 

[Will Gilmore]

I did (do) have a great family life.

-Will

 

[jssailem]

Mark Twain was known to share: “I only know what I read in the news papers.”

I just read the bad news in WSJ… CDC just announced: "The life expectancy age for white males just dropped to 75.5. "

Some of us are on a short fuse. Others are passed our expired date...

I guess AOC over optimistic when stating our chances. "World will end in 12 years…"

Better head for the boat and get as much sailing in as possible while I still have some time.

 

[Will Gilmore]

"World will end in 12 years…"

Again?

-Will

 

[dmax]

 

[rgranger]

I did (do) have a great family life.

-Will

Then you are a success

 

[leo310]

 

[leo310]

 

[Sailavie1]

 

[rgranger]

It took me a second.... and then I laughed out loud.

 

[srimes]

 

[Tally Ho]

View attachment 194658

I bet he nails the landing every time,

 

[jssailem]

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'

 

[jssailem]

Garage Door
The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.
His assistant walked up to him and said,
'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?'
The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up.
He then understood his assistant's question about his 'garage door'

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?'

She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old minivan with two flat tires..

 

[dmax]

 

[justsomeguy]

View attachment 194837

Makes a fine impeller lubricant.
Just sayin'.