May be selling

[Rich Stidger]

It is a crappy situation.

I had a manager one time that told me "You can't tell good luck from bad when it happens." I've learned this to be true many times. He was a smart guy.

Right now you think your situation is really bad. But maybe not. Only time will tell.

It is said that when one door closes, another opens. Best of luck to you.

 

[RECESS]

Down size a little. A great gift I have given my son Mico is growing up on a sailboat. He loved being on the O'day 25, Catalina 22, and the Pearson 323. I think it has created many great times for us to bond as father and son, and a lifetime of family fun.

Sailing is a great family event.

Mico on the O'day 25

Mico at the helm of the Pearson

Mico with his prize catch off the Pearson.

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. A Catalina 22 would be great for a young family.

 

[Mikem]

Do what you have to do now for the financial peace of mind. A wise friend of mine once said to me, "there is always another boat".

 

[edguy3]

I feel your pain. Some 17 years ago i sold my 24' sailboat because I figured it was not cost and time effective. My daughter was born the season before and with my wife and I having very demanding jobs, it costing me $500 per hour of use. I truly enjoyed the various boat project until the sailing time was cut so far back it was all work and no play. I did own a trailer, but, this boat was not truly a trailer sailor. The sale was inevitable.

During this time, we rented whenever we could. While enjoyable, it wasnt the same thing as having your own. In some respects it was better: it was all enjoyment and no project time, OTOH, there was no project time, no sense of accomplishment.

Finally four years ago, our son, the second child, reached ten and I purchased an old hunter 33; I was looking for three years. My goal was to try the family out on it. Success. I got my project/fun balance back ( aka 'sanity') and we had a place and vehicle to cruise around the NYC area. A weekly trip every year and lots of day and weekend trips.

A trailer sailor wouldnt have worked for me. Storage would have been an issue and launch logistics would probably would have resulted in very light use. I suspect had I taken that trailer sailor route, we would not have gone back to sailing. Of course, your situation could be completely different.

( we recently upgraded to a hunter 40.5; My wife wanted to get rid of that camping feel.)

 

[AnchorDragger]

I would downsize to whatever trailerable boat I knew I could easily afford. You can have fun sailing a Sunfish. Or go into a partnership on a trailerable Catalina 22 if that qualifies as easily affordable. If owning a part interest is too much then volunteer to crew in local races.

 

[Bad Obsession]

Edguy3, your situation seems similar to mine in many ways.

I am very sad about this but I guess it is reality.

7 years ago I upgraded to my 30 from a Hunter 22. I did a lot of sailing on the 22 but I also remember the pain it was to raise and lower the mast. I couldn't do it by myself and most of my sailing has been by myself. I have had a hard time getting friends to go with me.

Sailing on other people's boats is different than being on your own. Going from captain and making decisions to being crew and taking orders is a huge difference.

I know that there are ways to still get out there. Being crew on other people's or friends boats, renting boats, and things like that are okay. That may be how I get through this. I just can't believe that it has come to this. Knowing that the boat is not there in the slip and I can't just take off on another adventure is really burning me up. I wish that there was a way out of this. I wish that there was a way to keep the boat.

 

[Sam 10459]

Do some research

I don't plan to be boatless forever. Years does seem like a long time. I also don't like the idea of down sizing to a cheaper boat because I am use to a certain standard when it comes to cruising. I would rather wait until the right time and get a nicer boat.

I hope that I will find some friends to cruise with some from time to time. I don't think that I could ever give this up totally. It is too much a part of my life.

Don't be boatless for long at all. Downsizing does not need to mean sacrificing quality. Embrace a smaller boat. You will be surprised to see how much more often you sail it than you did your larger boat. Cultivate your friendships with those who have the long cruise Chesapeake boats you love, crew for them, and pay them back with some exciting day sails or weekends on your perky small boat. You will have them wanting one, too.

Also, read these:

Grayson, Stan. Sailing Small. Marblehead, MA: Devereux Books. 2004.

Cardwell, Jerry. Sailing Big on a Small Sailboat. Dobbs Ferry, NY: Sheridan House. 1997.

Small boats are fun, and great for sailing instruction of a new family

 

[RECESS]

Do you have any sailing clubs that allow you to keep a trailer boat on its trailer in a lot so you just have to splash it when you want to use it? That is what we did with the O'Day. I think we paid $175 a month in Carrabelle, that included use of the showers and pool.

 

[Stu Jackson]

Matt, be very careful that in addition to "no regrets" you don't wander into territory where you "blame" the rest of the family for "denying" you "your boat."

It's a boat and something's eventually gonna break. Worrying about what it might be will never be helpful.

If you can swing the #s, keep it. If you can't that's a reality. Figure what you CAN swing and go for it, or do without for a while. Sounds like you have OPTIONS which is more than a LOT of folks can actually say.

Consider yourself VERY lucky to have had the time you HAVE had.

Good luck, no matter what the decision process brings to you and yours.

Stu

PS - When/if you sell the boat, make a deal to buy it back later!

 

[Soldout2sailing]

Been in the same boat ....But things change

I was in a similar situation many years ago except it was expenses of keeping a boat, raising a young daughter and a wife that didn't enjoy the boat, so I sold it, the family was certainly more important. Flash forward to 2 years ago, same wife (35 years by the way) see me looking at sailboats in Antigua and told me I had to get another one. In February we purchased a Beneteau First 41s5 that we moor in St Martin; 6 weeks ago, we spent a couple of weeks onboard and teh wife loved the boat. We are heading back the first week of June for another week onboard with the same young daughter who is now 23, fresh out of college and wants me to let her live onboard.

My point is simple, if you sacrifice for your family the boat will take care of itself. While I was boatless, I had the time to run a Sail Training Program for the Navy and to race on friends boats many times. I a board member of the Virginia Schooner and enjoy sailing more than most; yes sailboats are wonderful but not as important as family. I think you have your head on straight and should do what you know is right for your family.

 

[Scott T-Bird]

Soldout makes a great point ...

Sacrifice now and the rewards in the future will probably be overflowing. I had a lousy 1st marriage but still had 4 children in the process. Via a combination of my selfishness for continuing to pursue all of my self-interests, and a wife who wasn't interested in participating, we ended up far, far apart. Most of my interests also involved including my kids, and they have turned into young adults who also selfishly pursue their own interests, most of them connected to the things I taught them. The only difference is that none of them seem to have any interest in marriage whatsoever.

I also found that my interests diverged with all of the seasons of my life. I can't tell you how many passions in outdoor activities I've pursued. Sailing was an early passion in my very young life, but after my youth, I didn't really come back to sailing a boat until I was near 50. I may not have the life-long experience of sailing, but it doesn't diminish my interest or enthusiasm right now. I guess my point is that I don't think it's so important to continue to pursue one thing for an entire life. I used to have an overwhelming passion for windsurfing, yet, I haven't been on a board for nearly 10 years now. I miss it sometimes, but I also moved on ...

Give up sailing now, do what's best, and always know that what goes around, comes around. If you want to, you'll be sailing your own boat again. If everything goes well, the conflicts will disappear and you'll be happy when the new opportunities arise.

 

[capejt]

OH! I feel your pain!!

After 14 years of happy service, I too am faced with parting with my precious "Serenity Found", a '79 H33. Over the years the tinkering and sailing has been therapy for me providing an escape from the day to day strife. Unfortunately, the combination of failing health and finances has forced me into the reality that I can no longer deal with the work and expense involved. Right now I'm making repairs from Sandy and cleaning her up for sale. (Anyone looking to buy a H33?)
I hope to find something smaller so I can still stay on the water, but I'm facing resistance from the admiral. (I think I'm staring to win her over).
In relation to your problem, I'm reminded of something a school mate from Maine Maritime said to me when I was debating between buying a boat or a home. He told me "Buy the boat first, because once you buy the house, you'll never be able to afford the boat". Truer words have never been spoken.

 

[DR.SNOOK]

I lived on my Catalina for the past 7 years.....I sold it in January. I haven't looked back once. There are a lot of boats out there right now for sale.....you won't get what you want for it.....hold on to it for a few more years,then sell it. Maybe you can lease it out so other sailors can enjoy it....just a thought....!..... Capt. Snook.

 

[Gary1946]

Plenty of good woman out there but only one sailboat that is perfect

 

[Indysailor]

Family comes first. Unless you plan on raising kids on your boat, I don't see how what you're doing is a bad thing, necessarily.
The first time you hold your future first kid in your arms, the one for whom you traded a boat for a down payment on a house, I believe you will realize you've done what you had to do.

 

[cajon409]

Last boat own was a Taipei 36 Ketch ,that was back in 1982,gave it up for 5 kids, a house and a life that I had no regrets. A little over a year ago we bought a 430 hunter,
now we have 13 grand kids to take out. Note time flew by when I looked back, when we are out looking at the sunset it seems like yesterday, remember God first, family second,
church third and all else after that. Hang in there it goes quicker than you think.

 

[mdcoats]

As life changes we have to change with it. I have been a sailor for 40+ years. My first boat was a 24 venture at age 27. Then a C&C 30. Then I went boatless for 10+ years while growing my family. Then at age 40 I built from scratch a 26' motor sailor and sailed that boat on the Florida Gulf for 10 years with my family. Then a Beneteau 42'. Went 10 years without a sailboat again, now at age 70, I have a really sweet O'Day 23. Life is sacrifices and rewards. The reward is much better if you make some sacrifices, especially for your family.

Best of luck and I hope you make the right decisions.

Mike

 

[Union36]

[I'm a bit put off by this. As a woman, a wife and a sailor, why is it that you have to sell your boat? Is it because she doesn't want you sailing anymore or...who's idea is this? You don't even mention the wife so that makes me believe that she isn't interested in sailing at all. How has it been this many years that you've been sailing alone and she hasn't joined you?

I have (probably) too many questions. I'm confused.

 

[Scott T-Bird]

Coming to the defense ...

Bad Obsession has been pretty clear about his commitment to his wife in the past. I applaud him for it. He's pretty clear about his concern that trying to afford a boat and provide a home for his family could become overwhelming and he is preparing to sacrifice his desire for his boat to make a comfortable home, which is important to his wife as it is to him. As I've always known, husbands and wives don't always have the same priorities. As I also know (from first-hand experience), being selfish harms a marriage. I think he has also written many posts about sailing with his wife so I don't think this is a grudging concession to a shrew.

He sounds like a good man with a good sense of priorities. He'll probably make the right decision and hopefully be rewarded for it in the long run.

 

[Johnnie Walker Black]

Hey bad o

Maybe when your kids are grown up and gone and then come back to visit you with the grandchildren, you can dig up this thread and read aloud about how you pissed and moaned over a decision that men have to make everyday.
Better yet, you could save a copy for reading on your anniversary too.
It's not hard to get your hands on an old catalina 30 now is it?
Grow up and do what needs to be done, or find a partner that supports your owning a boat.