Oh my the Horror...
Are you sure they are legitimate... They may be serving tofu pizza.
Beware of the cardboard covered in white sauce.
Funny Friday!!!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
Are you sure they are legitimate... They may be serving tofu pizza.
Beware of the cardboard covered in white sauce.
So true.
There is a pizza joint near me that cuts it in squares. You have to ask that it be cut in triangles. Square pizza slices? Who ever heard of such a thing.
Of course there are. But that doesn't make it right.
These are some deep-dish thoughts. Who would have thought of pizza as brain food for a bunch of crusty sailors? Thick or thin, you're really tossing this dough around. Maybe you'll get it delivered or do ya know?
-Will
-Will
Me thinks that poor sap is going to die single with a parrot on his shoulder.
Maybe better than NO BOAT!
There's a guy who, not only has his priorities straight, but is witty, as well. He obviously has a lot of experience with women
."That one just became one of my all time favorites.
-Will
Here is one for Kermit…
Been dang cold here in the Midwest this week…
Greg
Been dang cold here in the Midwest this week…
Greg
Is this confusing to you too?
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60
And then..
KFC inventor died at 94
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 - in an earthquake
Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years.
The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60
And then..
KFC inventor died at 94
Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 - in an earthquake
Hennessy cognac, Irish inventor died at 98
How did doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping, but it lives for only 2 years.
The turtle that doesn't exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So …
Have a drink ...
Take a nap ...
And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!
So …
Have a drink ...
Take a nap ...
And IF you wake up, have bacon & eggs!
Hormel foods made their first batch of Spam in 1937. Due to the pandemic, they announced they are making their second batch!
We survived WWII on spam. It was still a staple at my house in the sixties. You remember the sixties, right?
-Will
-Will
An oldie I ran into:
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious
Winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered
for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives YOU
money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Yes, it's again that magical time of the year when the Darwin Awards
are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious
Winner:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the
barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company
expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself.
He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman
had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit
his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to
the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very
excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies The deception wasn't discovered
for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious
head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received
the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how
close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer,
the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which
the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and
fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer: $15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives YOU
money, is a crime committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab
some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his
head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be
thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the
woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher.
Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car
and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, 'Yes,
officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from.'
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan , at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and
demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't
open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked
on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police
arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor
home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to
press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.