Funny Friday!!!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
A sailor, stranded for ten years on a desert island, spied something on the horizon. "It's a ship", he dared to hope. But, as the object got closer he could see it was not big enough to be a boat, at all. Something swimming in the water was getting closer.
Finally, from the surf, rose a woman in a wet suit with scuba gear. She took off her fins, mask, and hood, and shook out her long flowing hair. She was absolutely beautiful.
The gorgeous woman picked up her flippers and walked up to the astounded man and asked, in a sultry voice, "How long have you been stranded on this island?"
"Ten... ten years." the beguiled man answered, hardly able to hope that he wasn't dreaming.
"And how long has it been since you've had a beer?" She asked as she dropped her SCUBA tank to the sand.
"Ten years," replied the poor lost man.
The vision of feminine perfection reached into a waterproof insulated bag she had strapped to her narrow waist and pulled out a six pack of beer.
He peeled off one, popped it open, and took a long slug. It was still cold.
He said: "Wow! I have missed beer! Thank you."
The sexy siren in the wet suit then asked him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a fine steak?"
In complete disbelief, the castaway answered, "Ten... ten y...y... years. I'd give anything for a thick medium rare steak."
The stunning woman unzipped another insulated bag and pulled out a foil wrapped plate. When he sat down and opened the foil, the steak was still steaming, as were the potatoes with melted butter on them. He picked up the fork and knife that were included and cut himself a grateful mouthful. He rolled his eyes skyward and exclaimed, "OH! Perfectly cooked. I'm in heaven."
The sizzling hot babe then started slowly pulling down the long zipper on the front of her wet suit. She gave the man a deeply seductive look, licked her full red lips, and asked, "...And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
His eyes filled with tears and the overwhelmed man fell to his knees and cried with happiness, "Oh my God! You brought golf clubs too?"
-Will
Finally, from the surf, rose a woman in a wet suit with scuba gear. She took off her fins, mask, and hood, and shook out her long flowing hair. She was absolutely beautiful.
The gorgeous woman picked up her flippers and walked up to the astounded man and asked, in a sultry voice, "How long have you been stranded on this island?"
"Ten... ten years." the beguiled man answered, hardly able to hope that he wasn't dreaming.
"And how long has it been since you've had a beer?" She asked as she dropped her SCUBA tank to the sand.
"Ten years," replied the poor lost man.
The vision of feminine perfection reached into a waterproof insulated bag she had strapped to her narrow waist and pulled out a six pack of beer.
He peeled off one, popped it open, and took a long slug. It was still cold.
He said: "Wow! I have missed beer! Thank you."
The sexy siren in the wet suit then asked him, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a fine steak?"
In complete disbelief, the castaway answered, "Ten... ten y...y... years. I'd give anything for a thick medium rare steak."
The stunning woman unzipped another insulated bag and pulled out a foil wrapped plate. When he sat down and opened the foil, the steak was still steaming, as were the potatoes with melted butter on them. He picked up the fork and knife that were included and cut himself a grateful mouthful. He rolled his eyes skyward and exclaimed, "OH! Perfectly cooked. I'm in heaven."
The sizzling hot babe then started slowly pulling down the long zipper on the front of her wet suit. She gave the man a deeply seductive look, licked her full red lips, and asked, "...And how long has it been since you've had some REAL fun?"
His eyes filled with tears and the overwhelmed man fell to his knees and cried with happiness, "Oh my God! You brought golf clubs too?"
-Will
I was thinking, being stranded on a deserted island for ten years may have soured him on sailing for a few weeks after rescue.Obviously not a real sailor
-Will
All right now... here is a start. Verse 1. I need a chorus and a few more verses.
I was drunk the day my truck got out of prison....
As I prepared to go off-roading in the raaaaaaaain
Planned a stop at the gas station with my pickuuuuuuuup truck
But my truck runnedoff with that damned ole traaaaaaaaain!
It’s obviously winter and our lack of sailing is letting our imaginations run wild!
That damned Ol' TRAIN
That damned Ol' TRAIN
I thought to lay forever in your bed,
That damned Ol' TRAIN
That damned Ol' TRAIN
But you drove onto another's track,
That damned Ol' TRAIN
That damned Ol' TRAIN
My heart was full, but now it's broke instead,
That damned Ol' TRAIN
That damned Ol' TRAIN
Those rails carried you away, never to come back.
Never to come back.
-Will
I thought I'd try and say something funny about this photo and then thought... why bother.
I asked my dermatologist if she had any wrinkle cream, she said try the 5 gallon bucket of sheet rock mud at Home Depot.
I found this post really disturbing. Mostly because I started to sort it out in my mind with the realization that no really cares and the fact that I was sorting it out probably says something negative about me.
Anyway! Pizza is round because of the traditional way of spinning the dough above your head...
Women are still a complete mystery
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When I was a kid Tuesday evenings were race night. After sailing my family would often go for pizza at Peter's Pantry, near the harbor. There was a window we could look through to see the pizza kitchen and my sister and I often stood there watching them spin the dough then loading up the pizzas. Sometimes the chef would show off when he saw us watching. One day he started throwing the dough higher and higher until eventually it didn't come back down. He stood there staring up for a few seconds and we leaned in to get a better look. There was a pipe across the ceiling and he somehow got the dough hung up on it. He grabbed a broom handle, stood on the counter and knocked it down. He threw that one out and started over with a new dough ball.I found this post really disturbing. Mostly because I started to sort it out in my mind with the realization that no really cares and the fact that I was sorting it out probably says something negative about me.
View attachment 202419 And the box is square because a round box is too hard to manufacture. And it is cut into triangles because we are lazy.
Women are still a complete mystery
jssailem
SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
- Oct 22, 2014
- 22,290
I always thought it is cut into triangles because that is the only way you can evenly pass out servings using a straight edge.
If you cut it in squares, someone is only getting crust and someone will have sauce all over their fingers trying to hold the edge of the pizza to their face.
