Adult humor

[mmckee52]

Subject: Kids Are Quick





TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I Love this kid)
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie ... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right ... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher

 

[mmckee52]

Never Argue with a Woman


One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.
Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book.

The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat.

He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but I see you have all the equipment..
For all I know you could start at any moment.
I'll have to take you in and write you up.'


'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman.


'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden.


'That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment.'


'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL:
Never argue with a woman who reads.

It's likely she can also think.

 

[mmckee52]

Two old guys were chatting. One said to the other:
"My 75th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV".
Other guy responded: "Wow, that's amazing. Imagine, an SUV!!.. What a great gift!"
First guy: "Yup !!.... Socks, Underwear and Viagra!"

 

[mmckee52]

WHY ATHLETES CAN'T HAVE REGULAR
JOBS...



1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on
being a role model:
"I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up
to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me."
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when
asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for
1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
3. And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the
'Skin's say: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super
Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said: "To win, I'd run over
Joe's Mom, too."
4. Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach,
John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings."
5. Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann:
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy
like Norman Einstein."
6. Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh :
"I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."
(Now that is beautiful)

7. Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach: "You guys
line up alphabetically by height.." And, "You guys pair up in
groups of three, and then line up in a circle."
8. Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson going to prison:
"Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He
went to prison for three years, not Princeton ."
9. Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why
he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
"That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my
clothes."
10. Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training
regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets
up at six o'clock in the morning, regardless of what time it is."
11. Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player,
explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous
at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if
I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." (I wonder if his IQ ever hit
room temperature in January)
12. Frank Layden , Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
"I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?'
He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.'"
13. Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting
what he told a player who received four F's and one D: "Son, looks
to me like you're spending too much time on one
subject."

14. In the words of NC State great Charles Shackelford, 'I can
go to my left or right, I am amphibious.'

15. Amarillo High School and Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked
by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips
responded: "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss good-bye."
__________________
"Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer."
--W.C. Fields

 

[mmckee52]

Barack Obama was out jogging one morning when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, 'I want to go to Disneyland .'

Barack said, 'No problem, I'll take you there on my special airplane.?

The second kid said, 'I want a new pair of NikeJordan shoes.?

Barack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them!'

The third kid said, 'I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset!'

Barack was a little perplexed by this and said,'But you don't look like you're handicapped.'

The kid said, 'I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning.?

 

[mmckee52]

Excuses
Don?t feel like working today? Here?s a few good excuses.

If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I'm calling in blind - just can't see myself working for you today...!

I'm calling in scared. I am "afraid" that I am not coming in today.

I cant come in today as I have an interview for a job I really want and cannot be bothered to lie, which shows you exactly how much I care about your stinking job anyway.

I have lost my American Express Card and I cannot leave home without it.

I am sorry I can't come to work anymore. My psychic told me this job sucks.

>>>

This is a great excuse for not coming back to work from vacation...
Don't call, don't write, don't let anyone know what's going on - take an extra week, or two.
Then when you are ready to go back to work, just call up your boss and say.... " Don't pay the ransom - I escaped! "

 

[mmckee52]

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you.. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine

Dear Diary,
For my birthday this year, my husband gave me a week of personal training at the local health club.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.

Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
________________________________
MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a..m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!

Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines.. I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring! Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
________________________________
TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
_______________________________
WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot. Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other shit too.

_______________________________
THURSDAY:
******* was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes. He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom.. He sent some skinny bitch to find me. Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
_________________________________
FRIDAY:
I hate that bastard Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobic instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.

Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the damn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.

The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
________________________________
SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today... Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
________________________________
SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over.. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

 

[mmckee52]

God said, 'Adam, I
Want you to do
Something for Me.'

Adam said, 'Gladly,
Lord, what do You
Want me to do?'

God said, 'Go down
Into that valley.'

Adam said, 'What's a Valley?'

God explained it to
Him. Then God said,
'Cross the river.'

Adam said, 'What's a River?'

God explained that
To him, and then said,
'Go over to the hill.....'

Adam said, 'What is a
Hill?'

So, God explained to
Adam what a hill was.

He told Adam, 'On
The other side of the
Hill you will find a
Cave.'

Adam said, 'What's a
Cave?'

After God explained,
He said, 'In the cave
You will find a woman.'

Adam said, 'What's a Woman?'

So God explained
That to him, too.

Then, God said, 'I
Want you to
Reproduce.'

Adam said, 'How do
I do that?'

God first said (under
His breath), 'Geez.....'

And then, just like Everything else, God Explained that to
Adam, as well.

So, Adam goes down
Into the valley,

Across the river, and
Over the hill, into the
Cave, and finds the
Woman.

Then, in about five Minutes, he was back.

God, His patience
Wearing thin, said
Angrily, 'What is it
Now?'

And Adam said....

*

*

(YOU'RE GOING TO
LOVE THIS!!!!!!)

*

*

*

*

*

'What's a headache?'

 

[mmckee52]

Subject: DEPRESSION....
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, the wars, jobs, savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc.

I called the Suicide Lifeline.




Got a freakin' call center in Pakistan .


I told them I was suicidal. .....
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck

 

[mmckee52]

A Tough Old Cowboy From South Texas Counseled His Grandson That If He Wanted To Live A Long Life, The Secret Was To Sprinkle A Pinch Of Gun Powder On His Oatmeal Every Morning. The Grandson Did This Religiously To The Age Of 103 When He Died.
He Left Behind 14 Children, 30 Grandchildren, 45 Great-grandchildren, 25 Great-great-grandchildren, And A 15-foot Hole Where The Crematorium Used To Be.

 

[mmckee52]

AND THEY ASK WHY I LIKE RETIREMENT?

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called ?Seniors??
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time
Question: What is the common term for someone who continues to work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one can call your parents.
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.
Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing, Saturday & Sunday I rest.

 

[mmckee52]

The Moral of Auntie Sharon

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs got broken.'

'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.

'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!'

'Very good,' said the teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't count your chickens before they're hatched'.'

'That was a fine story Sarah.'

Michael, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.

Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.

And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.'

'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'

'Stay the F**ck away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.

 

[mmckee52]

cop walks up to a car that's run off the side of the road into a ditch. he pulls the door open and helps the young blonde woman out. "ma'am, what happened?" he askes nervously. "I saw a tree, so I swerved to avoid it, but then I saw another. it kept happening till I hit the ditch, then the car stopped" the blonde said, sounding scarred. the officer looks up both sides of the road, then looks in the car. he imediatley notices the pine tree air freshner.
__________________
who wants to be normal?
it's no fun

 

[mmckee52]

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets', and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs. The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells. The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one. John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.The result...The judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

 

[mmckee52]

*Obama wins Pulitzer Prize and Oscar to join his Nobel Prize *

In one of the most surreal and unusual days since the creation of the earth our President has been awarded both the Pulitzer Prize and an Oscar.

These awards will join his Nobel Prize on the mantel along with his numerous other awards including;

-Olympic gold medals for both the summer decathlon and the Winter Olympic medals in figure skating.

-MTV music award presented by Kanye West

-Grammy Award for thinking about writing a riff for a rap song

-Masters Green Jacket because everyone at Augusta National figured he would probably set a course record if he felt like it.

-Super Bowl MVP trophy because the owner of the Pittsburgh Steelers assured everybody last year that Obama was chiefly responsible for their win

-Eagle Scout Award-for his efforts in encouraging "safe school czar" Kevin Jennings to take up scouting.

-Emmy Award for his innumerable television appearances

His Pulitzer Prize was awarded, stated the committee, not for any writing that he may have done, but because of the idea that he may write a book in the future and it would most assuredly be "one of the most profound works of literature since the Bible and Shakespeare."

The Oscar was for awarded for Producer, Director, Screenplay, and Best Picture for his work on home video he shot of the family at the Grand Canyon. A movie reviewed by the New York times to be a "seminal moment in cinematic history" that would "revolutionize the way we see a family exploring the inner workings of family desperately trying to save the world".

Some have said that Orson Wells may have plagiarized large portions of Citizen Kane in homage to the Obama movies of the past. While Steven Speilberg has stated that the Hussein family has inspired roles in several of his movies, most notably Hans Solo's companion and co-pilot whose name shall not be mentioned.

Still up for consideration for the Congressional Medal of Honor, Wimbledon championship trophy and of course NBA Player of the Year honours are left for later this week ...

 

[mmckee52]

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama
fans.

Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by
the teacher,all the kids raised their hands except for Little
Johnny..

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be
different...again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."

The teacher asked, "Why aren't you an Obama fan?" Johnny said,
"Because I'm a Republican."

The teacher asked him why he's a Republican. Little Johnny
answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's a Republican,
so I'm a Republican."

Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was
a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan.''

 

[mmckee52]

They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
--------------------------
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
--------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
--------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered..
--------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
--------------------------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
--------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be se en in the basement on Friday afternoon.
--------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
--------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
--------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
--------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
--------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
--------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

 

[Ctskip]

mckee1952,
I must say, thank you. Your funnies have a way of making a dark day bright. Thanks

Keep it up,
Ctskip

 

[mmckee52]

In Washington, an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital.

He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" said the nurse.

"I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die", whispered the priest.

"I'll see what I can do, Father", replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to The White House and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi,

"I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get us re-elected. Pelosi agreed that it was a good thing.

When they arrived at the priest's room, the priest took Reid's hand in his right hand and Pelosi's hand in his left.

There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.

Finally Harry Reid spoke.
"Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."

"Amen", said Reid.

"Amen", said Pelosi.

The old priest continued, "Jesus died between two lying thieves; I would like to do the same...."

 

[mmckee52]

The Talking Centipede


A single guy decided life would be more fun

if he had a pet..

So he went to the pet store

and told the owner

that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,

he finally bought a talking centipede,

(100-legged bug),

which came in a little white box

to use for his house.

He took the box back home,

found a good spot for the box,

and decided he would start off

by taking his new pet

to church with him.

So he asked the centipede in the box,

"Would you like to go

to church with me today?

We will have a good time."

But there was no answer

from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit,

but he waited a few minutes

and then asked again,

"HowB about going

to church with me

and receive blessings?"

But again,

there was no answer

from his new friend and pet.

So he waited

a few minutes more,

thinking about the situation.

The guy decided

to invite the centipede

one last time.

This time

he put his face up against

the centipede's house and shouted,

"Hey,B in there!

Would you like to go

to church with me

and learn about God?"

... YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ...


This time,

a little voice

came out of the box,

"I heard you the first time!
I'm putting on my shoes!"