Like Quixote tilting at windmills......
Dunlookin, I like your prose, but I think you are off-point, at least a little... I agree that as owners we are free to take risks for ourselves, but are they risks per se? We do not calculate what will happen on a jibe, we KNOW what will happen. We have experience on our boats, and based on time shared, some familiarity with what they will and will not do. We are not magicians in the age of non-believers, but rather a fascinating curiosity to those who scratch their heads figuring out how we sail upwind.... We know it is not magic but science. We are free to do whatever we choose, AS LONG as we don't make foolish decisions that run the risk of impacting other's lives without their knowledge of consequences.
To my mind, it comes down to responsibility. The owner/operator's responsibility to deliver a safe experience for a group of folks who best might be considered curious, yet also IGNORANT about the vessle's capabilities, weaknesses, tendencies, good habits, bad habits etc. It is not that they are stupid, just that they do not know.
The guests coming aboard for the evening have to be assumed to be non-sailors, or for that matter non-boaters, unless there is solid evidence to the contrary. They will do things that will make you cringe. They will do things that jeapordize the safety of all involved. They do so, again, completely ignorant of their actions, yet it is the skipper's responsibility to maintain a safe environment for all of his guests. To do less is foolish.
It is folly and foolish to go blindly and load the boat, hence the original question. Doc Holiday provides a reasonable formula, yet that is a generalized formula designed to get someone close based on probable buoyancy. You have to then apply common sense and ask yourself if the math gives you a number you are comfortable with. I would at least like to point out that the "stock" number for the average individual weight is archaic in my opinion. I don't know any group of grownups where the average weight of the group is 150 lbs per person; we are all heavier than that these days.
StinkBug's post as #34 of this thread is indicative of his awareness of the situation...
It sounds like StinkBug has settled on a number between 6 and 8. From my personal experience, I would recommend 6 as the max including me, but as LuzSD has shared, it is StinkBug's boat, and StinikBug's comfort level. I personally think 6 would be a crowd..
I agree with you that God does not grant us more days because we lived as safely as possible, but we have to apply that to ourselves and our personal decisions only. We CANNOT blindly impose our risk aversion or risk acceptance upon others who are ignorantly unaware of the risks based on our desire to ride the wind. We are not slaves to the voices of people with no faith, we are slaves to responsibility, doing the right thing in making a good prudent decision regarding the potential to permanently affect the lives of others.
You say Dreams are not for the faint-hearted, but it is probable that someone you know has dreams of just safely getting to their own bed each night....