I dont understand the idling issue and how it can affect the damper. with the trans in neutral and the engine at idle, there can't be a lot of forces being imparted into the damper itself. its bolted to the flywheel and has a free spooling trans.. there's zero load. i can see where if you go in and out of gear and higher than idle RPMs will cause the damage... which i believe is one of the main purposes of the damper.. to dampen the slam of in and out of gear.. considering the impact of that, vs a free spooling transmission, i can't imagine idle is causing damage.. unless your idle is rocking the boat its so rough..
Damage done at idle is a possible theory for damage seen in these posts based on some loose forensics.
I am not positive if idling is harder on the damper plate than under power but have read many posts saying that the rattle is loudest at idle. The rattle would translate to impact which is most likely what causes the wear to the spline and output shaft. It takes a lot of constant force to deform metal but a hammer can get the job done with a fraction of the applied force.
At idle, with no load, the slow turning 3-cylinder engine with light-weight flywheel will not run at a constant rpm but will have turn in a series of micro accelerations every 2/3 of a revolution. The damper and transmission have their own rotational inertia and will want to spin at a more constant rpm. This difference without much load, will allow the splines to pound between thrust and retard side of the lands and hammer out the metal. The more wear you get the greater the hammering.
The spring type damper will have the ability to ease the hammering while still having the require torque capacity.
Just my theory but makes since in my own mind