- Dec 30, 2009
- 680
Oh crap, ya '' JACKWAGONS, want a box of tissues, thought so......guys,.... come on, some people are just neurotic ass*oles..plain and simple just move it will only get worse Red
Dock Queens
- Thread starter Nereussailor
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Very tongue-in-cheek, and I thought properly caveated. It's one thing to make a comment in response to an online rant, another altogether to do the deed. I can't imagine actually going through with it.
- Dec 30, 2009
- 680
I know, just saying,.... we all live in a fairly small community, and we have to respect each other as good neighbors. I myself have always found the boating "people" to be a very friendly group that will go way out of their way to help a fellow boater.I have been in other states far from home, know no one ,and had people, give me vehicles to use, house's, food ,money you name it, we are and incredible trusting group for each other, thats why we are so drawn to boating. That being said as we make our way some of us are more difficult and complex than others.....still good people.....moving is your best option.....When he is 2 or 3 fingers away you will probably get along very nicely......Just one of my 2 opinions if you know what I mean...Red
Sounds like you answered your own question.
People buy boats for lots of different reasons, not always just to sail. People's lives aren't always static - situations change, physical ability changes, interests change. I think he better question is why some so readily impose their values on everyone else. I don't intend to imply that is what you do here but clearly some of the comments you received do imply that.
Some people just like to tinker and a boat is just another proverbial old car in the garage they want to possess, plan to work on someday, want to give to someone someday, etc.
If you don't like it, him or both and you can't readily move, what realistic expectation do you have here?
Neuro, I'm sure you know this method already, but for those who don't, here's a good method of pulling away from a dock using a spring line when the wind is blowing you into it. Two short videos, about halfway down the page, under the section "Leaving a Pier." I used the forward spring line method once in the BVIs with about a 20 knot wind blowing me into the pier, and in Greece with a 25 knot wind blowing me into the fuel dock. Worked like a charm both times. No need for your neighbor to push off.
A cross section of views. No clear right or wrong.
I've shared docks with 150 mega-yachts; when they were having a big party their crew would flemish the lines on MY boat. I didn't mind. It was a glitzy marina.
Last year my slip neighbor sunk 3 times and became home to a family of ducks. I gave him a call to let him know when she was going down the first time, but he didn't care. It didn't harm me, so I didn't mind. It's a cheap marina.
Both end of the spectrum are guilty of thinking the world should be just the way they like it. It isn't, and it isn't fair to expect everyone to be like you. The OP lacked the expereince to get a way from the dock cleanly; he needed a plan, this was a potentially very serious error, and he got off lightly. The "queen" started the ranting over little, and I'm guessing he had little better idea how to leave the dock in those conditions. In a way he contributed, by giving the OP misplaced confidence (I never simply push someone off, unless I understand the plan--I don't wish to be a part of a mess). When returning, into the wind, I'm sure no help was needed.
Neither of them should have allowed themselves to get excited. Neither had cause, not as an adult.
You can't pin-ball around a marina and hit things; as Mainesail said, the OP needs to learn boat handling and stay at the dock on windy days until he does. Not fun, but we all went through the learning process. On the other hand, if you think a boat will never touch yours, that a door will never dent yours (my last car got a huge one within 2 hours--I figured that took the pressure off), that birds won't poop on the deck, or that leaves won't blow in the fall, life is going to be very stressful. I'm glad I got over waxing my car and worrying about scratches in high school.
That's not to say I don't like my equipment to be mechanically solid. But I believe a boat (car, house, knife, wife, boat, bicycle) is a tool to do a job. When I begin to see it as a trophy or expect others to respect it as such, right or wrong, I'm courting disappointment.
That said, the OP needs a low-end marina and to check his temper. It will be more fun and more relaxing.
I've shared docks with 150 mega-yachts; when they were having a big party their crew would flemish the lines on MY boat. I didn't mind. It was a glitzy marina.
Last year my slip neighbor sunk 3 times and became home to a family of ducks. I gave him a call to let him know when she was going down the first time, but he didn't care. It didn't harm me, so I didn't mind. It's a cheap marina.
Both end of the spectrum are guilty of thinking the world should be just the way they like it. It isn't, and it isn't fair to expect everyone to be like you. The OP lacked the expereince to get a way from the dock cleanly; he needed a plan, this was a potentially very serious error, and he got off lightly. The "queen" started the ranting over little, and I'm guessing he had little better idea how to leave the dock in those conditions. In a way he contributed, by giving the OP misplaced confidence (I never simply push someone off, unless I understand the plan--I don't wish to be a part of a mess). When returning, into the wind, I'm sure no help was needed.
Neither of them should have allowed themselves to get excited. Neither had cause, not as an adult.
You can't pin-ball around a marina and hit things; as Mainesail said, the OP needs to learn boat handling and stay at the dock on windy days until he does. Not fun, but we all went through the learning process. On the other hand, if you think a boat will never touch yours, that a door will never dent yours (my last car got a huge one within 2 hours--I figured that took the pressure off), that birds won't poop on the deck, or that leaves won't blow in the fall, life is going to be very stressful. I'm glad I got over waxing my car and worrying about scratches in high school.
That's not to say I don't like my equipment to be mechanically solid. But I believe a boat (car, house, knife, wife, boat, bicycle) is a tool to do a job. When I begin to see it as a trophy or expect others to respect it as such, right or wrong, I'm courting disappointment.
That said, the OP needs a low-end marina and to check his temper. It will be more fun and more relaxing.
I think what it boils down to is your (and his) boating enjoyment. Doesn't matter if he's a dock queen, drama queen, PITA or whatever. Your only control in the matter is to move elsewhere and if you're unhappy with the marina management's position, perhaps it's time you moved to another marina. I think we all strive to make boat ownership a pleasant experience and from what I've read, that ain't hap'nin here, not now, not ever.
"Last but not least, Smithy I'd love to do that, but it's not my style. It sounds fun though. I'm sure you meant it as a joke, but others here get offended by things like that. "
Throw a clevis pin or a bent up cotter pin on deck....that will keep him busy for a while
Throw a clevis pin or a bent up cotter pin on deck....that will keep him busy for a while
1. Final comment to my original comment... my other social group is adventure-motorcyclists, and we're not above pranking each others' rides in harmless fashion - anything that can easily wash off is fair game. A common joke is to sit on a friends' bike, sans pants, and send them a pic of it later. Extremely poor taste, sure, but harmless. A little bird crap falls in the same category. I'll remember from now on that such leeway does not always apply with the boating community.
2. For those criticizing the OP's boat handling, please re-read his statement - Dick pushed the OP's boat into Dick's boat, not the other way around. This has been said twice now in this thread.
Peace and good sailing to all.
2. For those criticizing the OP's boat handling, please re-read his statement - Dick pushed the OP's boat into Dick's boat, not the other way around. This has been said twice now in this thread.
Peace and good sailing to all.
NeuroticSailor, that question is unanswerable. Try to be a good dock neighbor yourself... learn to maneuver your vessel properly, offer your help whenever possible, respect your neighbors' boats and privacy, don't judge or belittle them and always be friendly. Do this and your life will be richer as well as those around you.
Sorry, folks. Forgot to paste the link in my post #25.
Two short videos, about halfway down the page, under the section "Leaving a Pier." I used the forward spring line method once in the BVIs with about a 20 knot wind blowing me into the pier, and in Greece with a 25 knot wind blowing me into the fuel dock. Worked like a charm both times. No need for your neighbor to push off.
http://www.cruising.sailingcourse.com/docking.htm
Two short videos, about halfway down the page, under the section "Leaving a Pier." I used the forward spring line method once in the BVIs with about a 20 knot wind blowing me into the pier, and in Greece with a 25 knot wind blowing me into the fuel dock. Worked like a charm both times. No need for your neighbor to push off.
http://www.cruising.sailingcourse.com/docking.htm
Many interesting comments here, I enjoyed reading them all.
Vantage point is so important, we all have a slightly different one and it serves us best when we seek more to understand than to be understood (been working on that one for a while, it is difficult). Maybe just swallowing hard and make an effort to apologize for whatever happened (difficult to do) and make the huge effort to be friendly but maintain a distance. Then pretend that you think highly of him and see if things improve. It might result in a much better relationship than you'd imagine and you might just be able to stop pretending. BTW, I have had to do this and as hard as it was to walk over and make a huge apology that I did not in my heart feel was right, it eventually turned things around... and I was happy I did it.
Vantage point is so important, we all have a slightly different one and it serves us best when we seek more to understand than to be understood (been working on that one for a while, it is difficult). Maybe just swallowing hard and make an effort to apologize for whatever happened (difficult to do) and make the huge effort to be friendly but maintain a distance. Then pretend that you think highly of him and see if things improve. It might result in a much better relationship than you'd imagine and you might just be able to stop pretending. BTW, I have had to do this and as hard as it was to walk over and make a huge apology that I did not in my heart feel was right, it eventually turned things around... and I was happy I did it.
Thanks Smithy, You are the only one here that read the post correctly. He pushed us off into his boat. One thing I didn't post was that I apologized at least 5 times. before we left, and when we returned. It didn't matter and it never will. I could apologize a thousand times and he will be the same. I've been nothing but friendly to Dick form day one even with his negative attitude towards me. I don't go off on people and rarely ever lose my temper, but that day, I just couldn't take his attitude towards me.
As for those who posted that I learn how to leave a dock, My answer to anyone asking if I need help will be" NO". I could have easily got away from the dock in those conditions without his help, which I did fifteen minutes after the "Incident". I just thought that having him help us leave would give him a sense of security. Never again.
Winkfish, Thanks for the link. I've seen that technique years ago in sailing classes, but never used it. I'm going to try it at another dock first. I don't want to try anything new around Dick's boat.
As for those who posted that I learn how to leave a dock, My answer to anyone asking if I need help will be" NO". I could have easily got away from the dock in those conditions without his help, which I did fifteen minutes after the "Incident". I just thought that having him help us leave would give him a sense of security. Never again.
Winkfish, Thanks for the link. I've seen that technique years ago in sailing classes, but never used it. I'm going to try it at another dock first. I don't want to try anything new around Dick's boat.
Find me a boater who has never had a docking incident and I'll show you either a liar or a guy who has never left the dock.
I have been an owner for 40 years and have put on my share of shows when docking, and my share of clinics. The unexpected is always upon us and experts abound that are more than ready to tell us how we should have done it. Those "experts" either conveniently forget, or don't dock in challenging situations.
I have had incompetent dock help cause me problems, as you did. The source of the problem is that Dick has no idea what is involved in actually docking a boat in various conditions, thus he cannot not understand what to do when departing or arriving. He is not an actual seaman, but a boat owner. Being a boat owner is not a bad thing, but Dick cannot comprehend being a boater.
Having a docking mishap does NOT characterize one as incompetent. It happens to the most experienced of us and those who claim otherwise either are lying or don't take their boats out in anything but pristine conditions.
I have been an owner for 40 years and have put on my share of shows when docking, and my share of clinics. The unexpected is always upon us and experts abound that are more than ready to tell us how we should have done it. Those "experts" either conveniently forget, or don't dock in challenging situations.
I have had incompetent dock help cause me problems, as you did. The source of the problem is that Dick has no idea what is involved in actually docking a boat in various conditions, thus he cannot not understand what to do when departing or arriving. He is not an actual seaman, but a boat owner. Being a boat owner is not a bad thing, but Dick cannot comprehend being a boater.
Having a docking mishap does NOT characterize one as incompetent. It happens to the most experienced of us and those who claim otherwise either are lying or don't take their boats out in anything but pristine conditions.
My answer to anyone asking if I need help will be" NO". I could have easily got away from the dock in those conditions without his help, which I did fifteen minutes after the "Incident". I just thought that having him help us leave would give him a sense of security. Never again...
I agree with you, I refuse help (as nicely as I can) and get attitude back as if I think I know it all but it is not that at alll, I just have a rhythm of my own and nothing screws it up more than someone coming to "help" us in or out!!
and please don't misunderstand my post; I don't profess to second guess you in your situation, I have had plenty of my own, I just know that I feel better if I don't have regrets, and sometimes my pride or my mouth gets me into situtations where I have plenty. And I thoroughly understand this post was not about you hitting his boat no matter how slight........it just complicated things.
I agree with you, I refuse help (as nicely as I can) and get attitude back as if I think I know it all but it is not that at alll, I just have a rhythm of my own and nothing screws it up more than someone coming to "help" us in or out!!
and please don't misunderstand my post; I don't profess to second guess you in your situation, I have had plenty of my own, I just know that I feel better if I don't have regrets, and sometimes my pride or my mouth gets me into situtations where I have plenty. And I thoroughly understand this post was not about you hitting his boat no matter how slight........it just complicated things.
In these situations it pays to have a plan. Thinking about your departure and knowing what you are doing is usually the best idea. As for the dock queen, bring him a cold beer next time you see him, shake his hand and apologize again for your mistake. Few people will continue to hold it against you. If he does walk away knowing you've done your best. Some folks will grumble if they're hung with a brand new rope.
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