Dock Queens

[Liam]

Dock Queen... maybe

Okay maybe I am also a "dock queen". Although I log on average 2000 miles under the keel per year and keep my boat in bristol condition, and I hate having boat neighbors who can't leave the dock without hitting something (windy is not an excuse).
It would be no different than hitting the car next to you everytime that you pulled into the parking lot.
You complain that the dock-queen ruined your day by complaining about your lack of skill.
Did you ever cosider what you did to his day? He had all day to worry about your return. I can understand that he would stick around to defend his boat.
My point is, if you don't know how to handle your boat keep it tied to the dock or get a little one that can't hurt anything until you learn how to handle it.

 

[kloudie1]

I agree with Liam.. but I also agree with bringing a beer (or a bottle of wine) and apologizing.. You are the one who committed the violation, not him.. In addition, I would solicit his advice often and in much depth.. not take it, mind you, but solicit until he leaves you alone..

 

[kenn]

Some good answers, from all sides of the situation.

Nereussailor, you're among friends here so it's a safe place to blow off steam, but there are two sides to this. Dick has probably posted on his DQ forum about his happy-go-lucky neighbour with the beater-boat, who will sail in a fart or a typhoon, and pinballs his way out of the marina every time. (I keed, I keed! )

Ok maybe not. But more than anything, it's a clash of personalities, and from your description, you two won't be friends anytime soon. So the only real option is to drop any assumptions and to just be businesslike, and spell out explicitly how you want to handle exit/entry. Something like:

- please, I prefer docking/leaving with my own crew according to my instructions.
- if you're still worried, you can of course fend off from your own boat
- I will do my best to not hit your boat; if I do, there's insurance

... and give him an opportunity to express what he wants.

Too many people fall into disagreements because of undeclared assumptions that they hang on each other.

I can see how a running feud with the dock neighbour could sour your sailing. Good luck with this.

 

[Winkfish]

As for those who posted that I learn how to leave a dock, My answer to anyone asking if I need help will be" NO". I could have easily got away from the dock in those conditions without his help, which I did fifteen minutes after the "Incident". I just thought that having him help us leave would give him a sense of security. Never again.
Winkfish, Thanks for the link. I've seen that technique years ago in sailing classes, but never used it. I'm going to try it at another dock first. I don't want to try anything new around Dick's boat.

I hope you didn't take my posting as any comment on your abilities. I'm certainly not in a position to lecture.

One other suggestion for anyone who is offered help by someone else - have your plan, and if help is offered, say, "Yes, I'm going to do blah-blah-blah. Could you please do such-and-such?" Then thank him or her profusely.

As a friend of mine who retired from the FBI used to say, "You can insult anyone absolutely as nastily as you want, but if you do it in the right way, he'll think you're the nicest person in the world."

 

[jimmcgee]

Take him sailing

Nereussailor, from your posts I'm going to assume you know how to handle your boat and that you've really tried with a guy who's a difficult personality.

Have you offered to take him sailing? Even if he uses his boat as a waterfront condo he must have some interest in sailing or he wouldn't have the boat. Maybe a day on the water will help warm him up a bit.

Just a thought...

Jim