Its funny Friday!

jssailem

SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
Oct 22, 2014
21,991
CAL 35 Cruiser #21 moored EVERETT WA
Look at those bell bottom high waist pants she is wearing. Reminds me of the wool ones issued in navy blue, 13 buttons to the Navy Sailors.

And where is she that she is pumping her own gas. When it was less than $0.50 there were attendants in sharp pressed uniforms wearing a Texaco Star to pump gas for a pretty girl.
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Then there were the gasoline promotion days, Like free gas for customers in bikini's... sort of fun...
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Of course there were a few hiccup's...

Gas Station Offers Free Gas For Everyone Who Comes In High Heels And Bikini And Regrets It Almost Immediately

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Jun 21, 2004
2,649
Beneteau 343 Slidell, LA
Oh the 13 buttons. Not a bad thing until you have to go really really bad...
Those “blues” were quite a site & ordeal to get in & out of..... lace up draw string on the backside & 13 buttons on the front side. Wonder why they chose 13 buttons; maybe for 13 original colonies /states???
 

jssailem

SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
Oct 22, 2014
21,991
CAL 35 Cruiser #21 moored EVERETT WA
PreFunElation... The excitment to submit a funny before Friday...

ENGLISH Mensa Invitational - for lexophiles

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.Here are the winners:

-------------------------------------------------
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.​
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an *******.​
3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.​
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.​
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.​
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.​
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.​
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.​
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.​
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease.(This one got extra credit)​
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.​
12. Decafalon(n):The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.​
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.​
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.​
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.​
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.​
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.​
 

dmax

.
Jul 29, 2018
1,074
O'Day 35 Buzzards Bay
A similar Washington Post list of alternative meanings for common words (I love #13):

1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.

2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.

6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.

8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.

1 1. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.

12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. pokemon, n. a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
 
Feb 18, 2022
440
Catalina 36 Port Orchard
I miss The Far Side. I used to work in a grocery store in Gig Harbor WA, and Gary Larson would shop there. He would come in about once a month, fill 3 or 4 carts with food and stuff and we wouldn’t see him again for a month or so. He was funny and just a bit off similar to his comics. I was one of the few baggers that could have his order ready to go before he finished paying. He would just hand me the keys to his truck and tell me where he parked. I would have everything in the bed by the time he got out to me. Right before he stopped making the comic he came into the store around Xmas time and gave us all a desk calendar. That was the last official new calendar he made. He was one of my favorite customers, and that was even before I knew who he really was.
 
Jul 7, 2004
8,440
Hunter 30T Cheney, KS
I miss The Far Side. I used to work in a grocery store in Gig Harbor WA, and Gary Larson would shop there. He would come in about once a month, fill 3 or 4 carts with food and stuff and we wouldn’t see him again for a month or so. He was funny and just a bit off similar to his comics. I was one of the few baggers that could have his order ready to go before he finished paying. He would just hand me the keys to his truck and tell me where he parked. I would have everything in the bed by the time he got out to me. Right before he stopped making the comic he came into the store around Xmas time and gave us all a desk calendar. That was the last official new calendar he made. He was one of my favorite customers, and that was even before I knew who he really was.
Neat story. Would have been cool if he signed them! Not sure he was into that.
 

SFS

.
Aug 18, 2015
2,082
Currently Boatless Okinawa
...I miss The Far Side...
He is making the occasional new cartoon. Check out his website, which is the only place they are published (I think). I read somewhere (probably on the site) that he is enjoyed modern drawing tools and technology. The new ones look different visually, and his sense of humor has changed a bit, IMO.
 
Feb 18, 2022
440
Catalina 36 Port Orchard
Some people just don't have what it takes to pull off dark humor. It takes a lot of creative thinking.
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CA will always be my favorite.

-Will
Poe is one of my favorite writers. They don’t teach him in school any more. I was introduced to him in 6th grade with The Telltale Heart. In my senior year we had to present a poem of our liking to the class and read it aloud. Well I choose The Telltale heart and as I read it I took on the roll of the narrator and as he went insane, I acted the same. That ended up getting us into a class project that had the class split in 2 groups and one was my defense and the other the prosecution. They put me on trial, and when they would talk about the old man, I would start going insane again, but when the questions moved away from that topic I would calm down. It was great fun and I loved the extra credit I got… it was the only time I ever got an “A” out of my English class.
 
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