Its funny Friday!

jssailem

SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
Oct 22, 2014
22,079
CAL 35 Cruiser #21 moored EVERETT WA
It is Friday.... Friday the 13.....


Not being to superstitious...

I kicked a black cat.
Walked under a ladder watching the guy above painting.
Challenged a couple of seagulls to poop on my neighbors boat.
Drank the last of the dregs from a bottle of wine last night.
Spilled salt on the floor.
Considered renaming my boat without the naming ritual....'

Maybe that's is why I looked a little haggard when I got to the mirror this morning...

Screen Shot 2019-09-13 at 9.17.12 AM.png
 
Jan 19, 2010
12,543
Hobie 16 & Rhodes 22 Skeeter Charleston
How many sailors does it take to change the bulb in the masthead light? None, because ... pick from one of the following
  1. The captain is too fat for the bosun chair
  2. The right size bulb isn’t on board,
  3. The local WM doesn’t carry that brand,
  4. Amazon has them on back-order.
  5. Masthead light?
 

capta

.
Jun 4, 2009
4,867
Pearson 530 Admiralty Bay, Bequia SVG
Saw "Stuck in Traffic" and thought that was pretty cool!
I can just hear the conversation; "Where are you?'" asks the guy's boss. "Stuck in Traffic, again. I may not get in to the office for a bit, boss. Sorry." No lie necessary.
 
Jan 19, 2010
12,543
Hobie 16 & Rhodes 22 Skeeter Charleston
Saw "Stuck in Traffic" and thought that was pretty cool!
I can just hear the conversation; "Where are you?'" asks the guy's boss. "Stuck in Traffic, again. I may not get in to the office for a bit, boss. Sorry." No lie necessary.
In my college days (Way back before cell phones...) the apartment had only one phone. The roommates all knew to say "He's in the library" when mom called. :biggrin:
 
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FDL S2

.
Jun 29, 2014
477
S2 7.3 Fond du Lac
In my college days (Way back before cell phones...) the apartment had only one phone. The roommates all knew to say "He's in the library" when mom called. :biggrin:
In college there was a bar named "The Library." No lies necessary-I could honestly tell my parents I missed their call because I was at The Library.
 
Jan 1, 2006
7,361
Slickcraft 26 Sailfish
I wanted to name my Ranger "Bullship." Wife nixed that one. As usual she was right. "Mayday, mayday mayday, this is Bullship..."
 
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Likes: Will Gilmore
Jan 22, 2008
8,050
Beneteau 323 Annapolis MD
Found a thread of funny boat names.... here are a few of my favorites... in increasing order
GRanger, did you not see "ZombieTsunami" (IIRC) on Sci Fi. They swim, but I'd think they should drown, what with all the holes in them.
 
Last edited:
Oct 19, 2017
7,799
O'Day 19 Littleton, NH
GRanger, did you not see "Zombie Sunami" (IIRC) on Sci Fi. They swim, but I'd think they should drown, what with all the holes in them.
Sharks can smell blood in the water as far as a quarter mile away.
Imagine how far away a zombie swimming in the water would attract sharks from.


-Will (Dragonfly)
 
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Likes: rgranger
Oct 19, 2017
7,799
O'Day 19 Littleton, NH
In the yacht club locker room, after the big race, a cellphone sitting on a bench in front of a locker, rang. We all stopped our conversations and excited recounts of the race when a guys answers the phone and puts it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Hi Honey, how'd the race go?"

"It was a great sail and a beautiful day, but we didn't win."

"Aww, I'm so sorry. Anyhow, I have exciting news and I wanted to ask your opinion. I found this great deal on a new dress and I simply love it. Normally it's a $500 dollar dress, but it's marked down to only $475. It's a steal. I'm in the dressing room right now. It looks SOOOO good on me. Can I get it?"

The guy looks around the room his mouth hanging open. Everyone returns his stare waiting for him to answer the question. Some of us are nodding, prompting him to say yes.

"Ah, ok. Sure, you should get it, you deserve it."

"Great, I love you so much.
Oh, and my sister called, and she and Ed want to make an offer on that house they are looking at. It's a really good price, but they don't have the down payment, so she asked me if we could help. What do you think darling? You know they are trying so hard. It's only $15,000 more they need.
"

"No, you should help your sister if she needs it. Go ahead. It's family, after all."

"That's what I think. I'm so glad to hear you say that.
Anyway, that's not the news though. I was talking to Phyllis, while we were getting our hair done, and she was telling me about some friends of hers who just bought a new boat. It's a beautiful custom boat and it sounded so wonderful, I looked up the boat makers online and guess what! They have a 50 foot katch for sale. It's brand new and marked down 25% from 1.2 million to $800,000. It looks so much more comfortable than our boat. I think we should call them up and lock it in before someone else jumps on it ahead of us. You've been saying you want a bigger boat. What do you think?
"

Smiling, the guy looks quickly around the silent room and plunged ahead, "Yeah sure. Go ahead and call them. You can buy it, if that'll make you happy."

"Ohhh! I love you so much, thanks Honey. I'll call them right now. Bye, love you!"

The phone clicks off.

Everyone breathes a collective sigh of astonishment. This guy is wrapped so tight around his wife's finger he can't see the light of day.
He blinks a couple of times, takes a few breaths, then shouts, "Does anyone know who's phone this is?"

-Will (Dragonfly)
 

jssailem

SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
Oct 22, 2014
22,079
CAL 35 Cruiser #21 moored EVERETT WA
Good one Will. It was a bit long but I found it worthy of the read.