In the yacht club locker room, after the big race, a cellphone sitting on a bench in front of a locker, rang. We all stopped our conversations and excited recounts of the race when a guys answers the phone and puts it on speaker.
"Hello?"
"Hi Honey, how'd the race go?"
"It was a great sail and a beautiful day, but we didn't win."
"Aww, I'm so sorry. Anyhow, I have exciting news and I wanted to ask your opinion. I found this great deal on a new dress and I simply love it. Normally it's a $500 dollar dress, but it's marked down to only $475. It's a steal. I'm in the dressing room right now. It looks SOOOO good on me. Can I get it?"
The guy looks around the room his mouth hanging open. Everyone returns his stare waiting for him to answer the question. Some of us are nodding, prompting him to say yes.
"Ah, ok. Sure, you should get it, you deserve it."
"Great, I love you so much.
Oh, and my sister called, and she and Ed want to make an offer on that house they are looking at. It's a really good price, but they don't have the down payment, so she asked me if we could help. What do you think darling? You know they are trying so hard. It's only $15,000 more they need."
"No, you should help your sister if she needs it. Go ahead. It's family, after all."
"That's what I think. I'm so glad to hear you say that.
Anyway, that's not the news though. I was talking to Phyllis, while we were getting our hair done, and she was telling me about some friends of hers who just bought a new boat. It's a beautiful custom boat and it sounded so wonderful, I looked up the boat makers online and guess what! They have a 50 foot katch for sale. It's brand new and marked down 25% from 1.2 million to $800,000. It looks so much more comfortable than our boat. I think we should call them up and lock it in before someone else jumps on it ahead of us. You've been saying you want a bigger boat. What do you think?"
Smiling, the guy looks quickly around the silent room and plunged ahead, "Yeah sure. Go ahead and call them. You can buy it, if that'll make you happy."
"Ohhh! I love you so much, thanks Honey. I'll call them right now. Bye, love you!"
The phone clicks off.
Everyone breathes a collective sigh of astonishment. This guy is wrapped so tight around his wife's finger he can't see the light of day.
He blinks a couple of times, takes a few breaths, then shouts, "Does anyone know who's phone this is?"
-Will (Dragonfly)