With your short arms, perhaps the extender will help, but if you're rockin' and rollin' as you describe, I would find it much too dangerous to sit on the coaming and try to steer.
When we had our C22, we had 2 seasons: summer on the lake and winters on San Francisco Bay. Sometimes we'd get up to the lake well after Memorial Day, so ended up sometimes in the BIG winds here on the Bay.
I would use the extender when things were calm and comfortable. Once the winds picked up, regardless of where the boat was (lake or Bay, and the lake could blow hard, too), I'd want to be inside the boat not on the edges.
Given your descriptions of your experiences, in both this and your other post, you really ought to do either of these two things: 1) move your jib fairlead WAY back to open up the top of the jib; 2) get a smaller jib, at least an 85% if not smaller.
We had a friend with a C25 who sailed on SF Bay and he bought a 65%!!! But he was the most comfortable sailor in our group!
You should also, as many suggested in your earlier post: reef, reef, reef the mainsail.
You are almost always horribly overpowered. THAT is why you're having these problems, and continuing to compare it to your earlier Ericson 27 ain't gonna help you one bit.
Don't blame it on flukey winds on your lake, blame yourself. (With apologies to Herman Cain).
Really, you should know from your long experiences with sailing that where you now are is not where you once were.
Good luck, but you really oughta print out and re-re-re-read the responses to both your posts.
How do I know all this? We had a C22 and learned to sail it in HEAVY conditions. How'd we do it? We reefed, reefed, reefed, moved the jib cars aft, stayed inside the boat, only used the hiking stick when things were relatively calm, and learned to sail the boat.
Good luck, but please: listen to the good advice you've been given. It really sounds to me like you want to sail your boat with the full main up and the 110% jib out in winds higher than that sail plan was designed for. Not a good idea.
BTW, the C22 as specifically designed to round up, all on its own, even without kicking the tiller down. You, actually, should know this by now.