A few basic guidelines
Here are a few tips that should help you gain some confidence as the wind builds:1) raise your mainsail first, then the jib. If the wind gets too high and the heel becomes uncomfortable, lower/roll up the jib. If it's still too windy for you, tuck a reef in the main. Better yet, put the reef in before you leave the dock. You should be able to sail comfortably in 20 kt. of wind with just a reefed main.2) the mainsail is far easier to control than the jib. You need one hand for the main, but two hands and a winch for the jib. Even if you have crew, the helmsman should control both the mainsheet and tiller (see 4) below).3) If you feel like the boat is being overpowered, ease the sheets and spill some wind. Sailing with the lee rail under only looks good in paintings... it sucks when you're in the cockpit. It's OK to sail with luffing sails or a big bubble in the main, as long as you have the boat under control.4) avoid cleating the mainsheet in heavy air or gusts. Instead, balance the helm with the mainsheet. When the wind gusts, you will feel the need to pull up on the tiller to keep the boat on course. This is called "weather helm" which is actually good in small doses. However, if steering starts to feel like work, ease the sheet a bit. You will be surprised at how the boat will settle down and the helm will get lighter. Of course, as the gust passes, you have to sheet back in, but that's all part of being a sailor.5) learn how to read the water, so you can see the gusts coming (the water surface will usually get darker and more ruffled). You want to be ready for a gust so you can respond when it arrives (see 4. above)6) on smaller boats, moving crew weight to the windward rail or aft (or both) will help reduce uncomfortable weather helm. With a tiller extension you can steer while seated up on the cockpit coaming.7) if you find that it's still too much like work, stop the boat and reduce sail area (see 1. above). The idea is to have fun, not a workout.8) learn how to heave-to. It's easy to do, but each boat behaves differently when hove-to, so you may have experiment a bit to find what works for you. Here's the maneuver:a) make sure that there are no other boats nearby and that you have plenty of room to leeward (boats drift when hove-tob) head up onto a close-hauled course on port tackc) push the tiller to leeward to come about, but don't ease the jib sheet.d) as the boat comes over onto starboard tack, ease the mainsheet and smartly push the tiller to the new leeward side.The boat will come upright, glide to a stop and begin drifting off to leeward. It also leaves a slick to windward that somehow reduces wave height. Lash the tiller to keep it in position. The the boat will remain stable for as long as you want. Some boats drift and others cut little scallops in the water, i.e., first they start to head up under the influence of the main and rudder, but then the main loses drive, the boat slows and the backwinded jib pushes the bow away from the wind. Then the process repeats itself. You can adjust the angle that the boat lays to the wind by adjusting the tiller and mainsheet angles. Here's the really cool part: you're still under sail on starboard tack, so technically you have the right-of-way. If you heave-to on port tack, you have to give way to other boats, which is a pain if you stopped for lunch.e) to resume sailing, unlash the tiller, uncleat the jib sheet, let it blow through the foretriangle to the opposite side and sheet in the main. You can sheet in the jib after the boat starts moving.Sorry this ended up being so long, but I think these simple boathandling skills are essential, so I tried to explain as well as I could. Happy sailing.PeterH23 "Raven"