OK, confession time. Not sure what has gone wrong with me, but I am becoming an ever more paranoid sailor. I've had this boat for 4 years now. The first year was just getting to know the boat, learning to trust it, learning what it would do. Year before last, I had the boat out on a good sized lake in 30 mph winds. No reef, just going for broke. I felt like I could concur the world. The boat pretty much was go anywhere and do anything with it. Bring it on. Last year, that changed. Got caught in a storm with 50 mph winds. No way to sail in it, tried to motor, but could not do that either. Basically did a semi-controlled ditch into a small cove and waited out the storm. Ever since then, I've just been paranoid about being able to go where I need to go. if the winds are the least bit strong, I only go upwind on the outgoing, so worst case, I can go down wind on the return and get where I need to go. This past week, I took the family out on our summer sailing vacation. The final day I had to motor upwind from our cove to the launch ramp about a mile away. The winds were strong, with white caps over most of the waves. For what ever reason, I did not feel confident to put the sails up. Partly because I would have to sail out into the middle of the lake where the winds were stronger. The clouds and the wind were ominous. I did look out over the lake, and there where a couple of sailboats out there. Even a cat with only about 10 feet of sail up. But just not sure why I didn't feel confident to go out, even though I know I've been sailed in much worse. Even sailing earlier in the week, when the winds piped up, I kept pointed into the wind, so as to prevent much heeling. I'd ask myself what would I do if I had to sail a beam reach. I've always said that a good day sailing is not hitting or breaking anything. But for whatever reason, I becoming more paranoid about that.