Bob, another little trick...
My problems have come when it's blowing 25-30kts with waves. It's a bear pulling the 10,000 lb boat over the anchor as I try directing the admiral in the right direction! .
We had that problem, too. My investigations showed I was doing it all wrong by trying it that way. You may never really know exactly where it is, so figure out a way to simply motor past the anchor (avoiding having the prop catch the rode) and drive PAST the anchor. As the wind is blowing you back, heave in the rode as fast as you can. Sooner or later you'll have such short scope
the anchor will pull itself out, and you can retrieve it on board.
I hear ya, I know how hard it is trying to do that.