I guess I always did want to live aboard.

Bad Obsession · Sep 21, 2009

I have to say that I came out much better in my divorce. Wife got the house on the acrage and I got the boat. The nice stab is that my boat was paid for with the mortgage and everytime she makes a mortgage payment she is paying for my boat that I own outright. I ended up with the boat and my truck and she got everything else.

Divorce sucks. She initiated it and she is the one who couldn't keep their pants on. It isn't right that we have to pay for someone else's infidelity.

I don't like the part of being in the singles world again. It is a strange world out there and I can say that it is taking some major adjustment. It is hard to find a descent woman who will actually make a commitment.

I am lucky that I didn't have any kids with her. That helped me out a lot but even if we did I would have probably had full custody because she never wanted kids!

bffatcat · Sep 21, 2009

Payments!!!

Listen Snotter
Im not divorced have had the same wife for 45 years. When my daughter and son went to college I paid willingly 100% no one put a gun to my head. Im from the North East the Ivy league was expensive then and it is now The fact that a vindictive woman gave you a hard time is unfortunate. I dont understand why you are upset about paying for college. thats what fathers usually do

Patrick17430 · Sep 21, 2009

Look Snotter, I'm not a very diplomatic person and I tend to get right to the point so forgive me when I say, I'm beginning to see why you have a target on your back. Your pretty whiney. Stop being the victim. If you want sympathy, your knocking on the wrong door. Pull up your panties and man up. Life is unfair. You got hosed. Learn from it. Its time to move on and regain your dignity.

Ross · Sep 21, 2009

Just play the hand you're dealt or fold your cards and leave the game. I know many folk that have second or third marriages. Their stories are all the same and all different depending upon which ex I am talking to.

BobM · Sep 21, 2009

Well, I hope your kids at least appreciate you and the college education you are providing. That is the important part. I have a number of friends that are divorced and everyone's situation is different. Some never see their kids and some have a good relationship with their kids. I hope things work out for you.

jerryf609 · Sep 21, 2009

Maybe enough has been said, but it sounds like you got out-lawyered. My ex and I split everything pretty fairly, our kids were adults with the youngest just 18, we shared her college costs pretty fairly as well. It was still painful in many regards.

However, look on the bright side, you had a house to sell and actually got an offer that you could accept, you own a boat and apparently have a pretty-well paying job.

I agree, fathers take care of their kids, love them and if capable financially, send them to college or otherwise help them get a good start. I agree stop whining and start enjoying what you have... especially enjoy your kids.

Shooter II · Sep 21, 2009

I'm an old guy and I went to college. I paid for my own credit hours. My parents SAID they loved me but they were willing to let me live free with them while I was in school else I paid rent.
Just wonderin', how many of you had your college paid by your parents?

Don S/V ILLusion · Sep 21, 2009

Someone please explain to me why this crap is on a sailing web site - it would seem more appropriate for Jerry Springer.

Ross · Sep 21, 2009

My Dad told me if I wanted to go to college to go ahead he wouldn't object, niether would he pay. So I learned a trade, actually about six trades.

Stu Jackson · Sep 21, 2009

Don, This stuff is too rough for

for Jerry Springer. Franklin, chill fella, pk is new here and sounds like he can type and think.

Franklin · Sep 21, 2009

Shooter II said:
Just wonderin', how many of you had your college paid by your parents?

not me...I paid for it.

Ron20324 · Sep 21, 2009

Don S/V ILLusion said:
Someone please explain to me why this crap is on a sailing web site - it would seem more appropriate for Jerry Springer.

Where is the moderator?

Jim Kolstoe · Sep 21, 2009

Snotter, a few thoughts. You have your life, your health and your boat. That's a pretty good start on the rest of your life.
The requirement of wage withholding/garnishment for all child support cases was imposed on the states as a condition of certain federal funds over ten years ago, it wasn't that you were being picked on. The 90% of school costs seems excessive, but you chose to live there. Oregon, like most states, requires child support until age 18, and thereafter until age 21 so long as the child is attending an accredited school at least 1/2 time and getting good grades. But once you pay the calculated amount, anything extra, such as tuition, is voluntary. The upshot is that children of divorce can require both of their parents to contribute a pro rata share of child support while they attend school, up to age 21. You're not alone in paying child support for college age kids.
She lacked fidelity to the marriage? So what. Fault based divorce went out over twenty years ago, to be replaced by irreconcilable differences. The system doesn't care why you have your differences. If you can't get along, you're allowed to go your separate ways.
You seem aggrieved that she was watching out for her own interests rather than yours. Why? That's normal, and you had your own interests in mind. In the ultimate analysis, it doesn't matter what she has, it does matter what you choose to do with what you have.
Finally, remember that she's stuck with herself, and you're not. Get on with your life and discover the good stuff that's waiting for you.
Jim Kolstoe, h23 Kara's Boo

Deadhead · Sep 21, 2009

College $$ . . .

. . . Came from me pumping gas on the overnights & weekends. I also worked in a butcher shop during the summer. I commuted to Rutgers College of Engineering and drove a corvair w/ an engine I rebuilt myself. The old man did not require that I pay rent while in school, but I had to buy mother a new clothes washer when she needed it, same with the dishwasher, TV and later the dryer. I also changed the oil and performed other routine maintenance on their cars.

But that was just the way it was if I wanted to go to college. I didn't complain because I didn't know any different and eventually got out of college debt free. AND I even found time to sail the old Snark Mach II that I had bought after junior year in high school. That little boat lasted for 15 years or so.

Guest · Sep 21, 2009

Marriage

I married the love of my life on August 2, 1969. She remains the love of my life. We raised four wonderful boys (first two adopted) and are now enjoying our twilight years together with the occasional chance to hold and play with one of our six grandchildren. I feel best when she is with me on the boat under sail to some verdant anchorage, which happens frequently. I thank Him every day for filling my life with such wonderful and magnificent blessings. There is nothing I am want.

Terry Cox

Devian · Sep 21, 2009

I don't know you Snotter, nor the details of your relationship before or after the divorce with your now X. But Holy ****ing Mother of God, I'm never stepping foot in Alabama!

Stu Jackson · Sep 21, 2009

keeper

Glad we kept this topic. Thanks for a great analysis, jim.

Don S/V ILLusion · Sep 22, 2009

Ron20324 said:
Where is the moderator?

must be watching a different soap opera

I guess I always did want to live aboard.

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