I guess I always did want to live aboard.

[Snotter]

You got to love Alabama. 10 years ago, my wife of 19 years, says "I want a devorce". The court grants her request with no questions asked; grants me joint custody rights to my two sons though they had to live with their mother and I get threatened by her lawyer when I wanted to take them to the barber against her will; and, I had to pay alimony for 5 years. She got married 2 weeks after the alimony ends so as to not jepordize her gravy train.

The visitation schedule said I had to pay 1200$ month until my kids turned 19. I never missed a payment. (Even after 3 years of never missing a payment the state started to garnish my wage.) My son turns 19 and I think to my self I will be getting a pay raise; wrong. My x files a suit against me resulting in 8 months more of garnishments until the court date. The judge then says I have to pay 90% of all college related expenses--tuition, books, living expenses, etc., etc. This is in addition to 8k$ of attorney fees and 1250$ month for my youngest son's child support.

I just accepted an offer on my house. I need to sell the house to get the money to pay a 14K$ installment due in a few weeks.

On the plus side, I will be moving abourd my old morgan 41 out island, making the 1.25 hour commute to and from work twice a day.

It does suck though knowing my x has 2 houses and a pool. Like I said--you got to love Alabama.

 

[kloudie1]

EEEOOOOWWWWW Not good, Snotter.. Sorry to hear that ! but living aboard will be a new adventure! I was not so badly affected and it was 12 years ago.. The ruling here was that they could not throw me out of the house so she had to leave.. Joint custody of the boys (one lived with me) but no alimony after property settlement.. I traded her half of the boat for my half of the Honda Accord.. The boat was ready for a trip to Costa Rica if necessary. I am happier now and she is too! (but there is no fun in the short term!) Again, sorry to hear that, Snotter.

 

[zeehag]

you at least have a reasonable boat for the purpose as well as sailing to virgins. she cannot sail the houses--you have potential for happy--she just has bitchiness lol--go figger--and you know the real meaning of word marry--lol--goood luck and i am sorry you had a bad one....remember to remember you are FREE despite payments----are freedom payments and you will be fine.....fair winds....smoooth sailing

 

[Snotter]

I'm 55. If I leave the country I would become a criminal (at least until my youngest becomes 19) and wouldn't be able to come back into the country. (I wouldn't be able to see my sons.) Also, so far, they haven't been able to get at my retirement. I want to keep it that way until I have enough to never have to work again.

 

[Stu Jackson]

Support is here

Hope that's not too many years away. Take him sailing with you, if she'll "let" you...

Your sailing community here will continue to support everything you do.

 

[zeehag]

I'm 55. If I leave the country I would become a criminal (at least until my youngest becomes 19) and wouldn't be able to come back into the country. (I wouldn't be able to see my sons.) Also, so far, they haven't been able to get at my retirement. I want to keep it that way until I have enough to never have to work again.

usvi is still within our boundaries--so isnt a crime yet....gooood luck and smoooth sailing---sounds like ye dont have tooo many more yrs until ye kin see bvi, tho-----do keep yer retirement--use the houses against her for that if ye kan----she cannot be able to strip ye clean , can she?? is horrible......be creative please...she is!!!! be as creative as she is, ok??!!!!
and homestead your boat--

 

[jackhartjr]

I feel your pain. I would tell my story...however most would not think it is true.

Looking back I would have demanded a jury trial.
Jack

 

[Snotter]

It is very frustrating living under the current system. Typically, when you start to tell people your story, they automatically think dead-beat dad. I couldn't have the job I have if I were a dead-beat dad or just a plain ol dead-beat for that matter.

 

[Shooter II]

jackhartjr, what are you talkin' about?
divorce is a local issue.
Alabama has not been liberal in my lifetime and I'm 59 years old.
easy there, with the mud slinggin'

 

[Stu Jackson]

Gee, Jack, the alternative used to be stoning. How's that better?

 

[BobM]

You should have proposed in court that the ex and the kids at least need to apply your annual coat of bottom paint!

 

[NotCook]

I think I would get a different lawyer, if that is all he could do for you for $8 grand! Since when was going to college a right. Did you at least have a say in what school he is attending, or did they just pick the most expensive one since Dad had to pay half the bill?

 

[Shooter II]

My brother here in Maryland had similar problems and he has 6 kids. Wife (ex) never worked. She got his military and federal retirement. During 20 years of mariage, he was faithful, she not. She didn't work. She wanted the divorce. She gets alimony and half of the retirement and nothing any lawyer could do. They all just said "never heard of such a thing". All the kids are over 20 and the ex remarried and moved to NC. Brother had to pay her off with 70,000.
The people deciding this stuff are not subject to review. Thar's the problem.

 

[Patrick17430]

You got to love Alabama. 10 years ago, my wife of 19 years, says "I want a devorce". The court grants her request with no questions asked; grants me joint custody rights to my two sons though they had to live with their mother and I get threatened by her lawyer when I wanted to take them to the barber against her will; and, I had to pay alimony for 5 years. She got married 2 weeks after the alimony ends so as to not jepordize her gravy train.

The visitation schedule said I had to pay 1200$ month until my kids turned 19. I never missed a payment. (Even after 3 years of never missing a payment the state started to garnish my wage.) My son turns 19 and I think to my self I will be getting a pay raise; wrong. My x files a suit against me resulting in 8 months more of garnishments until the court date. The judge then says I have to pay 90% of all college related expenses--tuition, books, living expenses, etc., etc. This is in addition to 8k$ of attorney fees and 1250$ month for my youngest son's child support.

I just accepted an offer on my house. I need to sell the house to get the money to pay a 14K$ installment due in a few weeks.

On the plus side, I will be moving abourd my old morgan 41 out island, making the 1.25 hour commute to and from work twice a day.

It does suck though knowing my x has 2 houses and a pool. Like I said--you got to love Alabama.

Why are you blaming Alabama for your wife ? You married her ! I don't understand why people cant take responsibility for their own screwed up lives. Oh' for the record... Ive been married 4 times. I made some bad choices. Life is good now. Good luck in the future.

 

[Blueayes]

Well, Snotter,
Many a good man has been down yonder road. My daughter had just gotten an apt and son lived with me. Rarley see the bitch. Life is good, kids now grown and sailing is enjoyable. Life is always better when the smoke clears.

 

[Shooter II]

pk,
I too would blame the state and its reps. The judgements reached were not fair/just. The state/judge failed to acknowledge payments made. The ex was clever and creative and greedy, she was enabled by the state.

 

[Franklin]

The great thing about being a live-aboard, no women want to marry you

 

[Patrick17430]

The great thing about being a live-aboard, no women want to marry you

Its not that you live on a boat , Its that you drive a honda. Get a Harley

 

[Patrick17430]

pk,
I too would blame the state and its reps. The judgements reached were not fair/just. The state/judge failed to acknowledge payments made. The ex was clever and creative and greedy, she was enabled by the state.

You guy's are hopeless. Choose better wives. The state didn't make you marry them. The state does whats best for the children .Period. :cussing:

 

[Snotter]

pkdailey4, I fail to see how reducing a father to the status of an indentured slave is good for the children. It isn't good for my children to see the disparity between what my x has and what I have. I didn't mind offering to help with my son's education. I do mind being forced to pay 90% with no accountability and no say. It is really sad to see what some people call as being good for the children. It is another sign of the demise of the american family.

I was told I would have only an 20% chance of winning an appeal and an 80% chance of going deeper into the hole.

Of the 3 attorneys I talked to after the judgement, all said nothing could have been done. This is bussiness as usual in Alabama. I was told that AL is only one of a few states in the country that allows parents to be suied for college expenses. I don't see how anyone can say that the AL government isn't liberal.

People change. You have no guarantees that the person you marry now will be the same in 19 years.

Sailing is a great way to de-stress. It looks like I will be earning hours towards my captain's license a bit ahead of schedule.