Alright Ladies, Let's hear your input

Bill Roosa · Apr 23, 2010

Boat babes, first mates, hood orniments, etc

I found my current (and last I suspect) first mate by putting on Friday night sails. Every other Friday night I'd just go out sailing with whoever could get away after work. had to email about 100 folks to just get 2-3 to show up. Only took me three sails to get her interested.

She is also the same first mate that artfully turned the boat around and picked me up out of the water without stoping!!! after dumb old bill decided that we didn't have to stop the boat (on a beam reach doing 6.5 kts) to bail out the dingy then fell into the dingy sinking it then fell into the water himself. Yes I had a PFD on. She turned up into the wind, bore off and bore down on me. FTR boats are really big when you are in the water and they are going 4-5 knots. I passed on the port side but could not get any purchas so I then grabbed onto the dingy and hauled myself into it. She threw me a pan and I bailed it out then she stopped the boat and I got back on board. Pretty embarissing .
That was her 5th cruise with me! Ducks to water

BobM · Apr 23, 2010

Re: Boat babes, first mates, hood orniments, etc

You'll have to get her a shirt like those bikers have...."If you can read this the Bill fell off!" LOL. Your lucky she let you back aboard instead of taking a few passes by the Yacht Club docks with you sitting soaking in the dinghy...I never could live that down at my club.

Caboteur · Apr 24, 2010

Dragged Aboard

The best book "we" have found on the subject is "Dragged Aboard" by Don (and Olga) Casey. It is available at Amazon.com and elsewhere. This book provides beautiful insight the different desires & needs of men & women on board small boats. We have a copy onboard and refer to it quite often.

My wife Suzanne has sailed over 7,000Nm with me. She doesn't like being at sea at night... but she has crossed from Bermuda to the Chesapeake and from Càdiz to Las Palmas de Gran Canaria. She says she won't cross oceans... we each have our limits!

Pierre, Le Caboteur

Stu Jackson · Apr 24, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
The tough thing about friends is that most of my friends are much older that I am and I am 4 year older than my Fiancee.

When you're 30 that makes a difference (maybe?).

When you're 60, not so much...

HoneypieE30+ · Apr 24, 2010

My husband and I are both in our middle 50's. We've been putting off boating for 25 years while we raised and educated our children (6 between the 2 of us). We jumped in with 4 feet at the same level (one sailing class under our belt and going out crewing with friends on their boats).

We're doing lots of work together getting the boat ready for spring put in including, cleaning inside, changing zincs and other motor parts, polishing hull, putting on the name, etc, etc.

I find what I need most on the boat is a clean environment. Not only must it look clean but the cabin has to smell clean. I've used fabric cleaner on the cushions, aired them out in the sun, used air freshners and incense to get rid of any musty smells in the cabin. I also need things organized so my husband makes an effort to accomadate me and keep his messes down as much as possible. I insist on not being just the gopher which can tire one out. We've agreed to sharing as equally as we can the grunt work. He has agreed to seek my opinion and not have to big an ego to make unilateral decisions unless absolutely necessary. He makes me feel as much a part of this experience so it's easy to join in with him. Also, I like being with him which is important.

dscribner · Apr 25, 2010

1) When she drops the gin pole on your head while stepping the mast . . . don't yell, even if you see blood.

2) Never, and I mean NEVER, tack while she's in the head.

3) Always, and I mean ALWAYS, let her know when you're comming about so she can get out of the way of the tiller.

4) Bring her favorite wine

5) Don't encourage her to work on her tan lines.

6) Don't expect her to know that Cunningham doesn't mean Richie, sheet isn't something that needs to be changed before we go to bed, and give it up and say the "left side of the boat".

Keep that in mind and things should be good.

Gail R · Apr 25, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
It is different being the youngest person in the crowd. I have always found more in common with older people and my Fiancee is the same way.

Age is irrelevent. Totally irrelevent. We are in our early 50s. Some of our sailing friends are old enough to be our parents; others, young enough to be our kids. We all have one thing in common -- a love for the water and sailing. Does anything else matter?

Click to expand

Tom Monroe · Apr 25, 2010

Somewhere back in antiquity, I took my wife-to-be swimming and hiking. She jumped right in and got her hair wet, and didn't complain when I offered her a roll of TP and pointed to a tree. I always thought that was a good litmous test. We've enjoyed an active marriage including sailing, skiing, canoe camping, etc. Previous posters are correct ... choosing someone in the right ballpark is important up front.

She began to bring me her girlfriends to "fix." By that, I mean some dude had given one of her girlfriends a miserable experience doing something. Her friend Terry, for example, had been invited to go skiing, taken to the top of the hill, and given a shove. Another had been capsized in a canoe on Lake Michigan in May (COLD!).

Having worked with many of my wife's friends on outdoor experiences, I can tell you that almost uniformly they are coordinated, athletic enough, intelligent, and quick. Usually, they're a heck of a lot more flexible than I've ever been. Their joy in the accomplishment is just FUN to watch.

BUT ... they lack confidence. Somewhere back in time, they had a miserable experience, or got yelled at, or even worse made fun of. Confidence is what you have to give them, whether it's sailing or whatever. Give them a carefully chosen set of graded experiences. Appalud their successes. Show and model along with the telling. Included them in the plans.

And, never ever under any circumstances yell !!

Last year, we were headed down the lake and the wind was unexpectedly really building. We reefed down the main, changed out headsails, and then I turned to Jayne, saying, "Home?" She looked around, checked the horizan, felt the tiller, looked at the inclinometer, etc., and said, "Nice day." Point is, she had the CONFIDENCE to evaluate the situation, not just rely on me.

She's a great asset. Together, we do much better problem solving and decision making than I ever could alone.

Tom

LuzSD · Apr 26, 2010

Well being another lady on this post I can't resist adding my 2 cents also!
Those who said pick the right gal and go from there are correct. That's only fair.
Our boat is both of our passions and has been from the beginning. We have learned together and I respect his abilities and he respects and supports mine. I am behind the wheel most of the time and I take it in and out of the slip and docking for gas and pump outs, etc. That has allowed me to feel like I am necessary and capable. I would quickly lose my enthusiasm if I felt inadequate or at least unable become more adequate.

Everyone of us is different, no doubt, but we all enjoy being needed. We also sail with other couples....... NP-Ensenada, Border Run, etc. and that makes a huge difference. Join groups where couples are involved in sailing... shared experiences seeing how other couples work things out. I love sailing, learning, getting smarter, beating that boat next to us......... I love it all and so I guess it does start with.....picking the person that fits you from the beginning. Good luck!

dlewis812 · May 29, 2010

cabin comfort

all going well.. gf started sailing a couple of years ago and very much enjoys.

planning some overnights now and need to get the sleeping quarters in order.

first, are there any bedding supplies made specifically to fit the v-berth (sheets etc)? catalina 30

second, i believe the table (traditional) converts down to a sleeping platform? any cushions made specifically to fit? (nothing listed in the manual)

fox islander · May 29, 2010

I'm lucky, the wife loves to sail and was the driving force behind getting a larger boat. She has little fear of healing. The only problem is she really doesnt want to learn how to handle the boat. No interest in docking the boat, or even starting the motor. When we sail, she is typically at the helm, while i'm at the sails. As others have mentioned, she's more destination oriented than I am. She also prefers sun....going out on a windy, grey, rainy day does not interest her...a problem in Puget Sound. I also enjoy single handing and am slowly modifying the boat to make it easier.

Hermit Scott · May 29, 2010

dlewis812 said:
all going well.. gf started sailing a couple of years ago and very much enjoys.

planning some overnights now and need to get the sleeping quarters in order.

first, are there any bedding supplies made specifically to fit the v-berth (sheets etc)? catalina 30

second, i believe the table (traditional) converts down to a sleeping platform? any cushions made specifically to fit? (nothing listed in the manual)

You can probably order both of those items directly from Catalina.
We have been using a queen sized sheet and just tuck it in around the edge.
I have two cushions that look like they fit that salon table. They have original upholstery on them so I assume they came with the boat from Catalina. We sleep in the Vberth, and I changed out the salon table to something more functional for the way we use the boat.
If you were at anchor I bet that would be the most comfortable place to sleep, right above the keel in a nice rectangular shaped bed. My wife likes the V berth because she is a bed hog ands doesn't notice I am pancaked up against the hull.

zeehag · May 29, 2010

dear bad o---does your fiancee like sports car racing?/ does she like to watch indy 500 on tv? does she like nascar on tv?? lol.....dont forget to rewrite your will , leaving her the boat.......i am unique--over 60 , female as opposed to felame ..lol...and i own my own 41 ft sailing boat....go figger----with my security officer, bubba daboatkat....so far, too many men hyave boats smaller than mine and the dreams to match. i dont even have him give up his bad habits..LOL....
what i am getting at, bad o--is that if she watches those tv shows with you and likes them, then she will love sailing and all that goes with it.....i love the deep cobalt blue of the 100ft plus depths and the fishies i can catch which reside there.....how the water moves a bit nicer in deeper water than in shallower water .... even catching a decent fishie is cooolest..watching the flying fish and dolphins.....sailing by the stars--guided by the stars and moon...sailing into the sunrise as the full moon sets, or sailing into the setting full moon as the sun rises behind ye.....the sky before a storm....the sky after a storm..sunrises...sunsets at sea---wow!!...the sea before a storm....lol....so much to see and feel and do out there....is easy to know if ye have salt in your veins.....if she does---then you have a great match ....

is far easier to find a partner for mating than for sailing....

as far as teaching her to sail---just take her out sailing---have her handle the jib--teach her what it does and how to make it do what you want it to do and how to make the boat do what you want it to do by using that sail------few times of that then more ==she will let you know when she is ready for the next step----if you guys really get along awesomely, then you can teach without yelling and she can learn without yelling and all is awesome...mates can teach each other how to do important things--just needs respect on both sides.....is easy!! just give a task and have her do that for the daysail....jib trim is good---easy and important...both--lol......while she is out with you and you are having her trim jib, teach her what each thing you help her correct is..luffing, flapping, putting in irons.....everything......when she has that in hand, add a different task----call the task by name and show her how to do it .. isnt hard to show someone how to do something--is easier than telling--we learned how to sail by being shown by a tallshipman-- merchant mariner in tallships..we were taught young on a gaff rigged racing sloop built in 1903--we each had a job to do and we each had to do these jobs and we were not scolded nor punished for not doing--we just didnt go sailing----if we broke something --we hauled uncle up the mast...at age 8 we did that---we learned...LOL...AND we had fun....

as far as sheets and such goes--there are some but they really dont work any better than using a regular sheet and tucking under the cushions ----- using the saloon table as a sleeping place requires clean up and preplanning---the v berth can be more romantic than cleanup and breaking out the bed...lol......is a more spontaneous place--if cushions are getting thin or are thin, use a thermarest pad--they are for camping----but they are awesome for supplementing the cushions. memory foam is also good

LuzSD · Jun 1, 2010

V berth comfort

dlewis812 said:
all going well.. gf started sailing a couple of years ago and very much enjoys.

planning some overnights now and need to get the sleeping quarters in order.

first, are there any bedding supplies made specifically to fit the v-berth (sheets etc)? catalina 30

second, i believe the table (traditional) converts down to a sleeping platform? any cushions made specifically to fit? (nothing listed in the manual)

I know sheets tend to be the obvious choice for bedding but we have found a different solution and love it. We first bought a 3in. Nova foam pad from Costco. We got the full size but should have gotten Queen. Cut it down to V shape and install it. We then use a quilt on the bottom and tuck it in all around. We use a comforter on top and it is really cozy and comfortable.
Often we have a down blanket (thin but warm) between us and the comforter. That makes it really easy to launder. The pluses of this set up are not alot of wrinkled sheets to deal with and it looks great too!

Alan · Jun 1, 2010

Another lucky one here! Mo loves sailing aboard our boat. The wilder the better. 25 knots and green water over the bow are no sweet. What she and I both hate are those hot dead air days when we have to turn on the iron genny to get somewhere.
Watching the sun drop off the end of the Earth at night with a glass of wine or pop up at dawn is our favorite. Waking up to the smell of coffee brewing and the sun beaming in makes us both appreciate how good things can be.
I take care of maintenance and repairs, she takes care of food decorating and the dogs. We both handle helming and sail trim. She prefers me to dock the boat while she handles the mooring pennant or dock lines. There is never any yelling aboard (same as home) we're just not wrapped that way.

I don't have to make excuses to buy something for the boat. If we want it and can afford it, we buy it. It's that simple.

I can't imagine a better sailing companion. I am genuinely lucky to have such a partner. (..and yes, I married her before we bought our first boat! We've been together since high school)