Alright Ladies, Let's hear your input

DannyS · Apr 21, 2010

I too, am one of the lucky ones. My wife loves to sail and be on the boat. We basically spend two months living on the boat in the summer so I count my blessings!
One of the best things we did when we bought our "big boat" was to have a friend (sailing instructor) take us out to practice maneuvering under power and docking the boat. First me, then her. What we found was that she handles the boat very well in the close quarters of the marina and she likes the fact that I'll be the one to take a swim if I miss the dock when stepping off the boat (hasn't happened under her command!) She loves showing off her skills to the "MEN" in the marina...especially the ones she knows wouldn't dream of letting their wives dock their boats!

drh1965 · Apr 21, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
I also try to put her in charge of where we go and how long we are out. I want her to feel that she has some control in this and she isn't just a passenger that is along for the ride.

I mentioned this to my wife, and said she should pick our next destination. She thought about it for 2.5 seconds and said, "Great, let's go to Fiji!"

BobM · Apr 22, 2010

My Mistress

zeehag said:
if she is to be yer wife then let her knowwhat the mistress is all about----

I always joke that at least the other woman weighs 10,000 lbs!

Bill Roosa · Apr 22, 2010

Things to avoid

Don't restrict her from the helm.
Don't make her weigh anchor.
Don't give her the "brut strength" tasks like manually rasing the mainsail.....
Don't make her a galley slave.

My observation is that the ladies are not as strong as the guys (typicaly) so don't play to their weakness. Let her do the helming while you do the he-man stuff. It just seemed the natural breakout of the tasks at hand. With that said, it is not the job of the ladies to prepair ALL the food. Now if you can't cook then perhaps that is also a natural break out but I've found that they do appreciate getting a meal while at the helm. Nothing quite so relaxing as smelling something good cooking down below and then getting it delivered to you in the cockpit.

jibes138 · Apr 22, 2010

How come this was a call to hear from the ladies on their opinions of the situation and only men are responding???

Gail R · Apr 22, 2010

jibes138 said:
How come this was a call to hear from the ladies on their opinions of the situation and only men are responding???

um... I'm a lady (at least sometimes) and zeehag is as well, I believe.

My top tip of pick the right girl to begin with stands. I'm still mystified about how Bad Obsession got to the engaged stage before boat-testing the fiance, though. But it looks like it's working so far.

PrincessoftheLake · Apr 22, 2010

I love this thread! I have to say ditto to Gail R and Zeehag.

comfortzone · Apr 22, 2010

I took a female co-worker sailing in San Diego Bay and while she had a good time her reaction was "And you find this relaxing?!" San Diego Bay is a busy place.
My wife hasn't sailed with me in 3 years. But then I don't garden with her either.

DannyS · Apr 22, 2010

jibes138 said:
How come this was a call to hear from the ladies on their opinions of the situation and only men are responding???

FWIW, my wife was dictating to me as I typed, I swear.
I think not making her the galley slave makes sense too. I'm the cook in our house and while I do it at home somewhat grudgingly, I love to cook on the boat. Here's another thing my wife loves about the boat...Hot coffee delivered to her in the v-berth while swinging on the hook. I get up early, she loves to sleep in so the coffee is always ready when she wakes up.

RECESS · Apr 22, 2010

You could always use operant conditioning. Give her all the gifts you buy on the boat. Always play the music she loves on the boat. Cook all her favorite food on the boat. She may start to drool when you say you are going to the boat.

Stu Jackson · Apr 22, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
She loves to spend time with me and that helps a lot too.

For Gail and zeehag:

That's a good start, isn't it?

RECESS · Apr 22, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
What are some other fun things that I can do while aboard?

Que the bow chicka wow wow.

Plan some dinner cruises (with her input) with some of her friends. Not McNuggets either, real dinners that are very impressive with some nice wine. My wife loves being very proud to host people on our boat. My wife is an athletic type, surfed and body boarded, rides horses, loves the outdoors, but she still loves having a nice dinner party.

Stu Jackson · Apr 22, 2010

If you think of your boat as a "second home" like a cabin in the woods, then do what you both like to do when you're at home. We play Scrabble, Uno, & Backgammon, but sometimes just having a different space it's just nice to relax, listen to music and read a good book, something you may not have a chance to do when at home with everything we usually need to at home.

And take a few moments, not too long a time, to teach each other different things about the boat. Eating an elephant still goes one bite at a time.

And there's always our own favorite standby: oiling the teak down below for an hour, then having a sundowner.

txtowman · Apr 22, 2010

best thread by far!!

Now if I only knew where to find a lady friend who may already be interested. How about help with this?

Gail and Zeehag--- you two have just helped me so much!:dance:

I have been wondering this my self and thanks to you bad obsession for starting it and everyone that responded.

I love to sail alone but it would be nice to share with a lady friend, even if we were just friends.

jansan · Apr 23, 2010

I was present when a retiring skipper told his story at an AGM of our mooring association.

This couple were in their seventies, with loads of sea miles under their belts, and were making progress under sail through an stretch of water between an island and the mainland. Pleasant sailing conditions and there wasn`t a sea running.

Our skipper had gone forward to attend to a rope leaving the " Admiral " at the wheel when he unnacountably lost balance and toppled over the side. As previously explained they were well experienced and thus the skipper was fastened on with an appropriate life line.

This now left the skipper dangling out of sight being dragged along the side, the admiral now in sole charge, with full sails up.

I have been following the thread of wives/girlfriends on board siince this topic was launched with regard to who potentially does what on a boat and the reasons why.

I leave you with this thought.

When you have your " Admiral " on board could she have coped in this scenario ?

Gail R · Apr 23, 2010

Bad Obsession said:
What are some other fun things that I can do while aboard? Games? Music is a must and we have similar tastes in music as well.

RECESS said:
Que the bow chicka wow wow.

Well, besides the obvious...

First and foremost, sail the boat. Provided the conditions are decent, half the fun is getting to your destination.

We race our boat some weekends, cruise others. From mid-May to Mid-September, virtually every weekend is spent on the boat. It's like a floating summer cottage for us.

When we get to our destination, we often hook up with friends and just hang out. This could be drinks in the cockpit, it could be a dinghy ride around the cove or up some creek. Sometimes one or both of us gets into some project. When we're cruising, we also carry a small kayak (MY dinghy) that either one of us can paddle around. If it's hot, we might take a swim (yes, despite popular belief, you CAN swim in Maine waters). In the evenings, if we're not hanging out with friends, we'll read or play cribbage, backgammon, yahtzee, or farkle (another dice game). Sometimes we'll just sit in the cockpit and look up at the stars. Some people actually bring a laptop and DVDs to play, but we go on the boat to get away from that kind of mindless stuff.

We generally don't have guests on board overnight (Pearson 30 is kinda tight) and when we hook up with boating friends, dinner will be pot luck on whichever boat best accommodates the group.

In case you haven't noticed, I mention friends a lot. Most of our friends also have boats. They're people we hooked up with through skiing, boating classes, racing, at the boatyard/yacht club, or just people we meet while out cruising. Boating creates its own unique community, and it is a whole lot of fun when you can hook up with other folks. The more the merrier.

Gail R · Apr 23, 2010

txtowman said:
Now if I only knew where to find a lady friend who may already be interested. How about help with this?

Gail and Zeehag--- you two have just helped me so much!:dance:

I have been wondering this my self and thanks to you bad obsession for starting it and everyone that responded.

I love to sail alone but it would be nice to share with a lady friend, even if we were just friends.

The best place to find lady boaters is where boaters hang out. Yards, yacht clubs (check the weeknight racing scene), places like that. Our local boating magazine has a crew-match classifieds section and some of the ads there are from regular sailors simply seeking someone to enjoy it with.

Someone once posed the question, "Where can I find a woman who likes to ski black diamond trails?" I suggested he go to a ski area and ski black diamond trails and he'd probably come across one. Or ten.

And there's always match.com and similar sites. A boating friend of mine found a like-minded lady there and they seem quite happy.