People Chow

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Pops

.
Apr 11, 2004
154
- - Albemarle Sound
In preparing for my cruising I have done a lot of research into different nutrition sources. It looks like I will be doing some home canning (thanks to Ross' inspiration) and I have found a great source for dried food of all types. I have often wondered why no one makes a "People Chow" like dog chow. All the nutrients in a dried source. Today a friend e-mailed with the reason...
Don't ask a retired guy a dumb question...here’s your sign....

Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of
IAMS Dog Food for my loyal pet, Abby, the Wonder Dog, andwas in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.



What did she think I had an elephant?





So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the “IAMS Diet" again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.





I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with IAMS nuggetsand simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)





Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had sat down in the middle ofthe street to lick my b**** and a car hit me.



I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. The cashier dropped my change, she was laughing hysterically.
Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.



Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
 
Jun 8, 2004
3,011
Catalina 320 Dana Point
Can't be too old if you've never looked forward with glee to a meal of Pilot Biscuits and Potted Meat Product, if there was ever a people chow, that was it.

pilot biscuit
nounvery hard unsalted biscuit or bread; a former ship's staple [syn: hardtack]
And the "potted meat product appreciation page" amply explains this historic form of Soylent Green.
http://www.shipbrook.com/jeff/potted.html
And this ad for it is simply great if you can stream it.
http://www.shipbrook.com/mp3/PottedMeatFoodProduct.m3u
 
May 11, 2005
3,431
Seidelman S37 Slidell, La.
Food Dehydrator

You can buy a food dehydrator at almost any Wally World, or K Mart or Target, for not much money. Do some experimenting with different recipies, till you find one you like, and make yourself up bunch of jerky. There are hundreds of recipies floating around. Between the canning and the dehydrator, you can eat pretty darn good, with no refrigeration needed.
 

Ross

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Jun 15, 2004
14,693
Islander/Wayfairer 30 sail number 25 Perryville,Md.
Re: Food Dehydrator

The Ball Blue Book covers food preservation in excellant detail.
 
Nov 6, 2006
10,217
Hunter 34 Mandeville Louisiana
Some of us have the excellent people chow ... The MRE's .. I have some left over from the hurricane last summer. Plan on having some on the boat when singlehanding and lazy..Pretty neat with the self heaters and stuff. Too expensive in my opinion at 6-8 bucks per meal..
When I have crew, I enjoy cooking.
 

Ross

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Jun 15, 2004
14,693
Islander/Wayfairer 30 sail number 25 Perryville,Md.
A friend boned out some chicken breasts with a dull knife and gave me the bones as they still had a lot of meat on them. It was about a pound of meat and bone. I cooked them with celery, onion, carrots mushrooms and salt and pepper until the meat was done and removed the bones. I then canned this mix in pint jars. When I want soup I heat a jar of this and add a handful of noodles. I got four pints from this pound of meat, a large carrot, onion and a cup of chopped celery and a half dozen mushrooms. Cost: about fifty cents each including the jar lid .
 
Dec 9, 2008
426
1980 Hunter 30 "Denali" Seaford, VA
Some of us have the excellent people chow ... The MRE's .. I have some left over from the hurricane last summer. Plan on having some on the boat when singlehanding and lazy..Pretty neat with the self heaters and stuff. Too expensive in my opinion at 6-8 bucks per meal..
When I have crew, I enjoy cooking.
I don't know, after living on those things for a few months in Iraq, I don't know if I could willingly go back to those. They weren't honestly that bad I don't think, but after eating the same ones over and over and over, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I think I got my fill. Of course, if a storm hit and someone rolled up with MRE's and I was hungry, I'd eat them I am sure... At least I after eating thosel you won't have to worry about #2 in your waste holding tank for a while ;)
 
Sep 25, 2008
2,288
C30 Event Horizon Port Aransas
MRE's are great the first 20 or 30 meals in a row. Cpt Jon, you might not mind MRE's so much if they didn't have the sand of the middle east in them. I swear every meal I had in the desert had sand prepackaged in it.
 
Nov 6, 2006
10,217
Hunter 34 Mandeville Louisiana
LOL, Scott.. Back a thousand years ago (1970) when I used to camp out on Padre Island, I had the same feeling .. hamburgers had sand, oatmeal had sand even the beers had sand! I was stationed in Beeville long before they closed that base.
 
Sep 25, 2008
2,288
C30 Event Horizon Port Aransas
I just went down to Corpus Christi to work on my boat Wednesday. My wife and I went to some crappy mexican food restaurant and got some tacos to go. We thought it would be nice to sit on the beach and eat. About 5 minutes into the meal she gets up and takes her food to the car to eat. The dog went with her. I stay there and the wind blew a good spoonful of sand into my tacos. I ate it all anyway.
And by the way Prankster, your story is hilarious. I had to wipe tears away when I read it.
 
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