Its funny Friday!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
A truck loaded with Vicks VapoRub overturned on a NJ highway today.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
Amazingly, there was no congestion for 8 hours.
I discovered the least expensive meat at the food store yesterday…deer nuts.
Yep, they’re under a Buck.
Yep, they’re under a Buck.
First off I am ok. I was a little shaken up this morning as I was robbed at a gas station. After my hands stopped trembling I managed to call the police. They were quick to respond and calmed me down. My money is all gone. The police asked me if I knew who did it. I said yes...
It was pump number 2.
It was pump number 2.
jssailem
SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
- Oct 22, 2014
- 21,991
Is that a Stick - up, or a Stick - In?
A clever way to do a WalletEctomy!
A clever way to do a WalletEctomy!
My son was very upset about having to walk to school. I walked with him to keep him company.
"You should consider yourself lucky." I told him, to cheer him up. "When I was your age, I had to walk to school every day, five miles, through four feet of snow, and it was up hill."
My son didn't cheer up. He just shrugged and commented, "Grammy and Grampa couldn't afford gas either, huh."
I said, "Oh we can afford the gas. It's just that when I went to fill up yesterday, our car fainted at the price."
-Will
"You should consider yourself lucky." I told him, to cheer him up. "When I was your age, I had to walk to school every day, five miles, through four feet of snow, and it was up hill."
My son didn't cheer up. He just shrugged and commented, "Grammy and Grampa couldn't afford gas either, huh."
I said, "Oh we can afford the gas. It's just that when I went to fill up yesterday, our car fainted at the price."
-Will
jssailem
SBO Weather and Forecasting Forum Jim & John
- Oct 22, 2014
- 21,991
Not Friday, but fits in with the recent fuel theme and Electrical power concepts. Perhaps there is a message hidden in this funny...
I know SHOP at FOODMART...
I know SHOP at FOODMART...
| Not sure how this is going to render when I hit "post reply". Here goes. Happy Friday (early) | ||
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It was an entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Center. After the community sang along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show, Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations," said Claude. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting
"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch" The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact".
"SH*T" said Claude.
It took them three days to clean up the Senior Citizens' Center. And, Claude was never invited back again.
"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time." said Claude. The excited chatter dropped to silence as Claude carefully withdrew from his waistcoat pocket; a beautiful antique gold pocket watch and chain.
"I want you to keep your eyes on this watch" said Claude, holding the watch high for all to see. "It is a very special and valuable watch that has been in my family for six generations," said Claude. He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting
"Watch the watch --- Watch the watch ----Watch the watch" The audience became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth. The lights were twinkling as they were reflected from its gleaming surfaces. A hundred and fifty pairs of eyes followed the movements of the gently swaying watch. They were hypnotized.
And then, suddenly, the chain broke!!! The beautiful watch fell to the stage and burst apart on impact".
"SH*T" said Claude.
It took them three days to clean up the Senior Citizens' Center. And, Claude was never invited back again.
A girl Potato and boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married and had a little sweet potato which they called 'Yam,' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam, and when it was time they told her about the facts of life.
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her, but on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a couch potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.....
Wait for it....
" A COMMONTATER "
They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and end up with a bunch of tater tots.
Yam said not to worry, no spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her, but on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a couch potato either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her shoestring cousins.
When she went off to Europe, Mr. And Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the hard-boiled guys from Ireland and the greasy guys from France called the French fries. Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate with those high class Yukon Golds, or the ones from the other side of the tracks who advertise their trade on all the trucks that say, 'Frito Lay.'
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that's Potato University) so that when she graduated she'd really be in the chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.
Tom Brokaw!
Mr. And Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just.....
Wait for it....
" A COMMONTATER "