Funny Friday!!!
- Thread starter rgranger
- Start date
Homer Simpson: Tomorrow's Friday. I'm calling in sick.
Mr. Burns (Homer's boss standing within earshot): If you don't come to work Friday, don't bother coming back on Monday.
Homer Simpson: Whoo hoo, four day weekend.
Mr. Burns (Homer's boss standing within earshot): If you don't come to work Friday, don't bother coming back on Monday.
Homer Simpson: Whoo hoo, four day weekend.
A piece of string walks in to a bar, goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a beer" The bartender looks at him for a second then says "We don't serve string here, get out!"
The piece of string slowly walks out of the bar. He stands outside for a minute then ruffles up his hair and ties himself in a knot. He then turns around and marches back into the bar, stomps up to the bartender and says "I want a beer!" The bartender glares and says "Aren't you the piece of string I just told to get out here?!?"
The piece of string looks at him and says "No! I'm a frayed knot!"
The piece of string slowly walks out of the bar. He stands outside for a minute then ruffles up his hair and ties himself in a knot. He then turns around and marches back into the bar, stomps up to the bartender and says "I want a beer!" The bartender glares and says "Aren't you the piece of string I just told to get out here?!?"
The piece of string looks at him and says "No! I'm a frayed knot!"
We jes’ keep tryin’ @Kermit and we jes’ keep failin’. I don’t get it.
Must be Miller time here by now.
Must be Miller time here by now.
I wanna like this joke, but I'm not goin' to pretend, I just don't get it.
-Will (Dragonfly)
While "diesel fitter" sounds like a fairly technical job, it really only amounts to a guy pulling a pair of pantyhose or underwear over his head and exclaiming "diesel fitter".
[These will fit her]
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The wink at the end is killer. The cat currently in my lap was less impressed though.
@Will Gilmore
You must have missed 7th grade
This is the joke ....
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "Panty Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton panties."
The clerk looked up Panty Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "Panty stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da panties, Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
That makes so much more sense now.
I'll have to go back and add some likes.
-Will (Dragonfly)
I'll have to go back and add some likes.
Not 7th grade, but 8th grade was when we took a year off to sail from Florida to Maine and back. I must have missed some important cultural landmarks then.You must have missed 7th grade
-Will (Dragonfly)
Yup. That proves how smart a dog is.
Besides you never see rescue cats or seeing eye cats or bomb sniffer cats.
There may be drug cats, but they are likely just narcissist users.
When combined with hydrogen you get OH or H2
or H2WTF!-Will (Dragonfly)
