What's the silliest (dumbest) boat related thing you ever saw?
- Thread starter Don S/V ILLusion
- Start date
So did the guy retrieve his trailer by hand too?How NOT to launch a boat....
I saw this guy getting ready -- Noted he was wearing flip flops, and that there was a vulnerable guy in the way at the bottom of the ramp in a kayak. I thought "this could end badly", and was immediately faced with a moral dilemma: Should I step in and advise the guy that this isn't a good idea because his ~1000 pound Whaler/trailer could easily get away from him and hurt that guy below? (And probably damage the boat, too?)
OR?
Should I whip out my phone and start recording?
As you see, the guy launching the boat wasn't the only one who had a lapse of judgment..... Note the red sign at the top of the ramp. It couldn't have been more appropriate.
There really should be a bar at each and every launch ramp. It's just too entertaining/shocking sometimes.
Maybe I should start a franchise of "The Ramp Bar" - and on every table there's buttons to score the most recent launch/retrieval. Big display somewhere that says "Bayliner 21: 4.5" etc.....
Maybe I should start a franchise of "The Ramp Bar" - and on every table there's buttons to score the most recent launch/retrieval. Big display somewhere that says "Bayliner 21: 4.5" etc.....
I had people wanting to place bets (no takers) on me crashing my BB charter from the Moorings in BVI. I was directed to parallel park the 39 in a < 48 foot space directly in front of their restaurant.
They would have lost. To me it is more fun to watch it done well than see someone without a clue.
They would have lost. To me it is more fun to watch it done well than see someone without a clue.
One hot and incredibly humid first evening in Roadtown, Tortola, aboard our bare boat charter we had just finished provisioning the boat in the dark. Donning my brand new Black Diamond LED headlamp, wrapped around my sweat soaked baseball cap, I decided to take a breather behind the starboard wheel. As I removed my baseball cap to wipe down my brow, forgetting I was wearing the headlamp, it sling shotted off my head, bounced off the sugar scoop transom and dropped into the 20 feet of questionable quality seawater at the pier. It remains to this day.
Fortunately, I remembered an identical headlamp I purchased for the Admiral. I found that in the luggage, placed it on my head, and repeated the exact same scenario not more than 30 minutes later. I was immediately demoted to dumb ass.
Fortunately, I remembered an identical headlamp I purchased for the Admiral. I found that in the luggage, placed it on my head, and repeated the exact same scenario not more than 30 minutes later. I was immediately demoted to dumb ass.
That would have been a promotion for me.
This is a true story that I personally was a part of.. It all started in Maine early spring and we were all getting our boats polished and ready to be deployed for our short boating season. One morning I heard a knocking on my vessel and looked out to see a young man about 35ish begging for some help to identify a pipe for him. His sailing vessel 39ft (cant say name) has been sitting on the hard for 5 years and it was not decommissioned properly for the winters thus, the tanks all broke and all the sewage/waste tanks was dumped into the bilge to height of the floor boards. It stunk and fumes were so bad I had to wear a respirator to even go down inside. He explained that his father gave him the sailboat but I couldn't get any free time to do anything till now.
I proceeded to tell him that the only way to get this "S%&T out of her is 2 options.
1. Have a septic service pump it out and with fresh water flowing at the same time will start the process of cleanup.
2. Get 55gallon drums and use the sump pump to drain out the back of the boat.
So he proceeded to explain that he tried to turn on the sump but nothing was coming out. However, it did go down. that's why I need to identify the outlet to the pump.
I said I would turn pump on and you look out the back to see where its coming out. So he went up topside to stern and I hit the switch to ON.. I yelled! You see it? He said no, nothing is coming out.. I said, It has to because is going down now probably 10-20 gallons.. I proceeded to tell him get down off the boat and look around under the boat and see if it some place else coming out. He called out.. "No is not coming out period". then I thought! It must be pumping back into the tanks...lol so we let it run till went dry and the pump shut-off good. so we took the hose and sprayed it down maybe 10-20 gallons fresh water. Then I looked and was able to find the tanks caps. I opened them to see how full the were and to my amazement they were empty!!! WTF going on here. I explained to the owner that I have not a clue as to where it went. I got out of the vessel and walked around the catwalk.. OMFG.. The owners BMW was parked along side the boat with its window down.. ALL THE S%^T WENT Directly into the front seat and filled his car up to 2 inches before the windows...lol The man was frantic and I proceeded to tell him that now is the time you need to keep your S&^T together and think..lol "literally".
He said he was taking it to a car detail shop and I proceeded to tell him the only way you can do this is to drive it However, you have to crawl into the car window start and drive. You cannot open the door under any circumstances. If you do hazmat will have a field day with you along with the town.. So I took a white trash bag and cut leg holes it and he striped to wear the bag as a dipper so he doesn't ruin his close. I proceeded to follow him to the detail shop and for some reason he forgot NOT to OPEN the doors, and sure enough.. He did! lol The shop owner yelled and called the POLICE.. So remember never park your car but off the bow.. Oh forgot the car, was not his it belongs to a friend. Total Loss!
I proceeded to tell him that the only way to get this "S%&T out of her is 2 options.
1. Have a septic service pump it out and with fresh water flowing at the same time will start the process of cleanup.
2. Get 55gallon drums and use the sump pump to drain out the back of the boat.
So he proceeded to explain that he tried to turn on the sump but nothing was coming out. However, it did go down. that's why I need to identify the outlet to the pump.
I said I would turn pump on and you look out the back to see where its coming out. So he went up topside to stern and I hit the switch to ON.. I yelled! You see it? He said no, nothing is coming out.. I said, It has to because is going down now probably 10-20 gallons.. I proceeded to tell him get down off the boat and look around under the boat and see if it some place else coming out. He called out.. "No is not coming out period". then I thought! It must be pumping back into the tanks...lol so we let it run till went dry and the pump shut-off good. so we took the hose and sprayed it down maybe 10-20 gallons fresh water. Then I looked and was able to find the tanks caps. I opened them to see how full the were and to my amazement they were empty!!! WTF going on here. I explained to the owner that I have not a clue as to where it went. I got out of the vessel and walked around the catwalk.. OMFG.. The owners BMW was parked along side the boat with its window down.. ALL THE S%^T WENT Directly into the front seat and filled his car up to 2 inches before the windows...lol The man was frantic and I proceeded to tell him that now is the time you need to keep your S&^T together and think..lol "literally".
He said he was taking it to a car detail shop and I proceeded to tell him the only way you can do this is to drive it However, you have to crawl into the car window start and drive. You cannot open the door under any circumstances. If you do hazmat will have a field day with you along with the town.. So I took a white trash bag and cut leg holes it and he striped to wear the bag as a dipper so he doesn't ruin his close. I proceeded to follow him to the detail shop and for some reason he forgot NOT to OPEN the doors, and sure enough.. He did! lol The shop owner yelled and called the POLICE.. So remember never park your car but off the bow.. Oh forgot the car, was not his it belongs to a friend. Total Loss!
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lol , similar tale- read where someone decided to pump holding tank into water- but guests dinghy was tied right under outlet-,yep- filled dinghy. Double dumb ass!
Remo
We had a very nice dinner... it's a popular family spot and we enjoyed watching kids feeding the seabirds who would dive after the crackers and bread they threw off the deck. We didn't give a thought to our dinghy below, until we returned to find it COVERED in gull poop, bread, crackers, and French fries. Mostly poop.
There was no hose there, and we (I) had to use a plastic water cup and a pile of napkins from the restaurant to clean areas to sit on the dinghy tubes (I'm the one who gets to clean the sh!+ jobs). I finished the cleaning job back at our anchorage where I used the anchor washdown hose and proper cleaning supplies.
Reminds me of the time we anchored out at Duck Island Roads in Westbrook CT, and took our dinghy in to Bill's Seafood, a popular rustic restaurant and bar situated on a canal in a large salt marsh. Bill's has a large outdoor deck seating area, and you can pull your dinghy up to the dock just below the deck.
We had a very nice dinner... it's a popular family spot and we enjoyed watching kids feeding the seabirds who would dive after the crackers and bread they threw off the deck. We didn't give a thought to our dinghy below, until we returned to find it COVERED in gull poop, bread, crackers, and French fries. Mostly poop.
There was no hose there, and we (I) had to use a plastic water cup and a pile of napkins from the restaurant to clean areas to sit on the dinghy tubes (I'm the one who gets to clean the sh!+ jobs). I finished the cleaning job back at our anchorage where I used the anchor washdown hose and proper cleaning supplies.
Even today! I cant stop laughing. Every time I think of this story, I to here his voice as we puled up to the detail shop and the kid was sitting in his car, yelling at the detail shop owner "Help me, I Need emergency detailing!" as he proceeds to open his car door and dumps all the SH*T on his driveway while talking to the shop owner.. That look! on the shop owner's face when he saw and smelled it was... Priceless...LOL and everything else there's MasterCard. I just cant believe I didn't take picture's of this event. However, at the time of the event I wasn't thinking about recording it..lol
Only in Florida
Isn't that one of those trailer hitch mounts for a scoot-around wheel chair thingy? That explains the Florida reference.