What's the silliest (dumbest) boat related thing you ever saw?

[Don S/V ILLusion]

Sitting at the marina this a.m., I watched some pretty strange things which prompts me to ask:

My contribution is that many years ago, I watched what was obviously a novice powerboater drive his new Searay up to the fuel dock. After some discussion with the fuel dock guy, he walked back to his radio whereupon I heard him radio his buddy and asked - "John, do I have a diesel engine?"

Has anyone else ever observed some equally absurd behavior?

I've heard all the argument against licensing prerequisites but maybe a basic intelligence test?

 

[Charlie Jones s/v Tehani]

before a regatta, the guy using his boat as a committee boat took it to a fuel dock to be filled. Walked up to office to say hello to some one, came back and dock man asked him- How many gallons does this thing hold- I've put in 33 and still going-

Yep, right into a rod holder!!!

Needless to say, THAT boat was NOT used as committee boat that day!!

 

[Maine Sail]

Watched a couple with brand spanking new 1.4 million dollar boat pull into the Port Clyde fuel dock and proceed to fill the water tank with diesel. "Honey, the water is pink and it smells funny." I heard the wife say. The husband shrugged and went back to pumping fuel. About a minute later the husband screamed "oh F*ck!" when he realized that he had just filled his water tank with about 80 gallons of diesel... D'oh...

 

[Ken Cross]

A friend pulled up to the fuel dock and while his back was turned the attendant filled his water tank with diesel.
I understand that was expensive.

Edit, I see Maine Sail observed a similar event. It really could happen to anyone.

Ken

 

[walt]

At a mountain lake in Colorado, some guys with a fishing boat and about a 50 hp outboard were in the parking lot and had the outboard running and revving it etc. A bunch of people in the parking lot just watched because by the time anyone noticed, the water pump in the outboard was likely just a bunch of smoldering pieces. Too late to say anything.. so might as well just enjoy the show. I figured they had borrowed the boat..

 

[jon hansen]

trump this, http://continuouswave.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/011350.html.

before the official comissioning they stove in the bow of an $93,000,000.00 ice breaker and ice breaker bows are reasonably strong. the coast guard bragged that this new vessel would not be carrying paper charts. totally electronic navigation. sometimes just looking out the window has benefits. the master was demoted

 

[LakeShark]

In my travels I have seen a number of crazy things but my favorite stories come from when I worked on a fuel dock on Catalina. So here are my top 5

1. Weekly someone would come down to the dock and ask when the 2 O’clock boat would leave for the mainland to which we always smiled and said 2 O’clock with a smile.

2. I watched a man fill his diesel tank on a newer sailboat with water from the dock hose. I noticed a large sheen coming from behind the boat as he overfilled the tank and diesel was coming out of the tank vent on the side of the boat. We stopped him and called the Harbormaster but the man did not need or want help. It was a chartered vessel and his words were “Don’t worry I have a fuel water separator”. We watched him sail off into the sunset wondering if he would ever make it home

3. Often people when untying from a mooring would forget the stern line and if the boat was large enough they would drag the bottom weights tangling them and making a mess. One time someone left in the night and did not untie the weights. It was a large power boat and when crews in the morning saw the buoy missing they went looking for the weights. They found the track where the weight was dragged through the sand but the track led straight off the shelf and the weights were never found nor was the boat or owner. Our guess is when the 4 train wheels he drug off the shelf fell he likely lost at least his stern cleat.

4. I had a man once come down the dock walk past an 80 foot boat with 10 foot letters on it that said Channel Island Express and with all sincerity ask me where the Channel Island Express was. I started to giggle and then pointed at the 3 story vessel he just passed with the giant letters on both the sides and stern. He said “is that it?”

5. Lastly you will never have as much fun seeing stupid things happen as you will on Buccaneer days at the Isthmus. I was told of a group of sailors who staggered from the bar and went down to the dingy dock to return to their boat for the night. The untied their dingy, pulled it out of the water onto the dock, and proceeded to climb in. They were heard living it up as they tried to paddle on the dock with both oars out. After a good laugh the Harbor Patrol got them back to their boat that night.

Oh the good times I had in my youth!

 

[SEMPERAVANTI41]

Back in the seventies a friend of mine was launching his Oday 20 at a boat ramp. Noticing that in order to float the boat off the trailer he had to back his car into the salt water, he tied a rope from the car's hitch to the trailer hitch. Now letting gravity work the trailer went into the water and I floated the boat off the trailer keeping the car dry. Once the boat was off the trailer my friend accelerated the car up the ramp then braked. The trailer being connected by a rope swung around and smashed the side of the car.

 

[justsomeguy]

“Don’t worry I have a fuel water separator”.

[shakes head] Amazing.

 

[LakeShark]

[shakes head] Amazing.

I should have added that he had just prior filled the diesel tank from the pump. Both diesel and water go in the same hole? I will never own a chartered boat.

 

[justsomeguy]

 

[vhoisington]

So its pull out day at the lake, we are busy putting boats away and tying off lines. and then the clamor from the ramp starts, we look over and the nice PB has loaded his boat on the trailer and is proceeding up the ramp (long in the fall due to the low water in the lake) dragging his motor. So he's about 50 feet up the ramp, hears the noise and stops. He jumps out to look at what is causing the noise at which point boat, trailer and truck begin the slow roll back to the lake (gravity works well without any brakes).

He obviously had the boat and trailer well balanced since it rolled a full 40 feet back before the trailer jackknifed into the docks on the side of the ramp. Which was good for him since it kept the whole rig from rolling back into the lake. He spent the next 2 hours talking to the rangers and getting things pulled back together. I don't think his wife was happy when he got home

 

[DayDreamer41]

This topic started me looking, check these out

 

[Charlie Jones s/v Tehani]

Ouch- but the very first one was on purpose- it was being brought in to be cut up- all the boats there were scrap. Saw a discussion about it last year

This topic started me looking, check these out

 

[jeepbluetj]

.......

5. Lastly you will never have as much fun seeing stupid things happen as you will on Buccaneer days at the Isthmus.

I love going to the Isthmus. But never at Buccaneer days. That'd just be too much for me.

Silliest thing I've seen? The (not-quite-legal) fishing charter off of my dock. Single screw - not an outdrive. Has called me a WAFI on multiple occasions (not spelling it out). Had to catch him once to keep him from hitting my neighbor. Managed to push em into the right direction. Not much thanks. Other folks (some fisherdudes) have had similar experiences. Don't be an a-hole if you'd ever like others to help. Heck, I only helped because I like my neighbors.

 

[Kermit]

Me... Trying to be a boat owner.

 

[quadrille38]

Our slip has a perfect view of the fuel dock and it's often a source of entertainment.
What never ceases to amaze me is that many powerboats no matter what the size pull up to the dock, quickly shut the engine(s) down and then decide to rummage through the lockers looking for dock lines. The best ones are when its a bit windy, the boat is blowing all over and the rummaging through the lockers produces a 2 foot long piece of ratty water ski rope that they then try to tie the boat with.
It's always quite a show.

That's not to say we sailors don't have our own docking moments (I can attest to a rodeo or two of my own) but from observation at least the sail boats seem to have lines at the ready.

 

[Ned Ludd]

My all time favorite was watching a guy load up a 30 speed boat onto his trailer with a power winch. He was so nervous about scratching the boat he never noticed the truck sliding down the ramp until only the hood was above the water.

 

[Kermit]

I took my pontoon-boat-renting preacher sailing last year. We got to my boat and he *immediately* started untying docklines. I politely told him we weren't quite ready to cast off. And no one would know if I hadn't just told y'all.

 

[Calif. Ted]

New dockmate is a Kiwi who bought the twin engine sportfisher to "Live the Good Life, Mate". He says "Ex-wife threw the key for starboard engine overboard 2 weeks ago so I can't start it" and holds up a key labeled "Port". So I showed him how to start his engines, "Never had a diesel, Mate", and that a "Port" key was identical to a "Starboard" key. Then drove him up to the hardware store to get a couple keys made.