Brittle bones vs. safety concerns I hope will resonate with other forum members as well.
OK, the “mate” is my wife. But it could also be other friends. Or even ourselves as well.
Am I right to limit my wife from sailing?
The situation: Severe (really severe) osteoporosis caused by two and a half decades of steroidal and other drugs for on-going medical conditions. Coupled with progressing age; abnormal weakness in muscle strength as well. During last year's hospitalization (for other underlying issues), I mentioned to the attending physician that we sailed on San Francisco Bay. The doctor's response – delivered with a severely negative facial expression -- "Pop-Pop. Crack-Crack. Snap-Snap. Ugh!”
Although a concern now for a few years, its reached the point that I now feel its way too risky for an osteoporosis person to be on a sailboat. Just one moment of lost balance and bones will break. Hospitalization. Surgery. Maybe a convalescent home for a while for special care and rehab. The mortality statistics over the next couple of years or so following (say) a hip fracture really are quite dismal.
My wife knows all this but is trying to ignore. "Just won't happen. I know how to be careful".
So she is not taking my position well. Feels should be her decision rather than mine.
10 years ago, getting into sailing and buying a boat was 100% my idea. Wonderfully, she loves it. But only if things are happening. Being out in a good breeze is a must. Fog cascading over the Golden Gate Bridge towers and container ships passing by adds to the appeal. The San Francisco waterfront or the Golden Gate Bridge needs to be the destination.
She doesn't like just floating around in no wind. Nor does she like motoring.
For those not familiar with central San Francisco Bay sailing, calm or moderate wind conditions are virtually never certain in advance planning. During our spring/summer/fall, wind velocity and direction can change from 1 kt wind to +25 kts over only a few hundred yards different location. Currents and chop are variable and can be extreme. A skipper must be on top of his/her game constantly.
We have compromised sort of by sailing with the jib only so that I (and the boat) have less sail area and variables to contend with.
But still, my fear is that being on a boat in raucous conditions is risky for a person with brittle bones. Too risky maybe even with no sails up! One moment of inattention by me, or not warning her in advance to "hang on" because of an upcoming wind gust or that the boat is about ready to lurch due to a wake from a passing ferry ... And she/we could be in trouble.
And I have saved this thought for last. Sailing solo is my very natural for me and I actually prefer it sometimes. But because she is upset about me telling her sailing is now too dangerous for her, I also am now sailing very infrequently. I feel bad for her when I am out without her.
So am I right to exclude my wife?
What do most of you think about having on board a physically compromised person?
Are you able to tell them "NO"?
OK, the “mate” is my wife. But it could also be other friends. Or even ourselves as well.
Am I right to limit my wife from sailing?
The situation: Severe (really severe) osteoporosis caused by two and a half decades of steroidal and other drugs for on-going medical conditions. Coupled with progressing age; abnormal weakness in muscle strength as well. During last year's hospitalization (for other underlying issues), I mentioned to the attending physician that we sailed on San Francisco Bay. The doctor's response – delivered with a severely negative facial expression -- "Pop-Pop. Crack-Crack. Snap-Snap. Ugh!”
Although a concern now for a few years, its reached the point that I now feel its way too risky for an osteoporosis person to be on a sailboat. Just one moment of lost balance and bones will break. Hospitalization. Surgery. Maybe a convalescent home for a while for special care and rehab. The mortality statistics over the next couple of years or so following (say) a hip fracture really are quite dismal.
My wife knows all this but is trying to ignore. "Just won't happen. I know how to be careful".
So she is not taking my position well. Feels should be her decision rather than mine.
10 years ago, getting into sailing and buying a boat was 100% my idea. Wonderfully, she loves it. But only if things are happening. Being out in a good breeze is a must. Fog cascading over the Golden Gate Bridge towers and container ships passing by adds to the appeal. The San Francisco waterfront or the Golden Gate Bridge needs to be the destination.
She doesn't like just floating around in no wind. Nor does she like motoring.
For those not familiar with central San Francisco Bay sailing, calm or moderate wind conditions are virtually never certain in advance planning. During our spring/summer/fall, wind velocity and direction can change from 1 kt wind to +25 kts over only a few hundred yards different location. Currents and chop are variable and can be extreme. A skipper must be on top of his/her game constantly.
We have compromised sort of by sailing with the jib only so that I (and the boat) have less sail area and variables to contend with.
But still, my fear is that being on a boat in raucous conditions is risky for a person with brittle bones. Too risky maybe even with no sails up! One moment of inattention by me, or not warning her in advance to "hang on" because of an upcoming wind gust or that the boat is about ready to lurch due to a wake from a passing ferry ... And she/we could be in trouble.
And I have saved this thought for last. Sailing solo is my very natural for me and I actually prefer it sometimes. But because she is upset about me telling her sailing is now too dangerous for her, I also am now sailing very infrequently. I feel bad for her when I am out without her.
So am I right to exclude my wife?
What do most of you think about having on board a physically compromised person?
Are you able to tell them "NO"?
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