When Reading and Comprehension Collide

[Kermit]

My First Mate and I had a great day sailing yesterday. The forecast was for little to no wind but we were thrilled to see perfect conditions. So perfect that we decided to fly the spinnaker. I wanted to try out my system of keeping the sheets and tack line on the boat ready for use and this was the perfect day to try it.
I pulled the turtle out, attached it to the starboard lifeline and immediately found the corner of the spinnaker labeled Tack. I was so proud of myself for packing the spinnaker and putting it away perfectly so I could quickly attach the lines where they needed to go. I attached the halyard to the tack and then the sheets to the clew. Perfect! Now all I have to do is hoist the snuffed spinnaker from the turtle, attach the tack line then pull the whole thing tight for deployment. While hoisting the spinnaker I was surprised to see the snuffer dropping while instantly deploying the sail. I normally have to pull the snuffer up for the spinnaker to deploy. I must have really done something right this time. Not so much. WTF? Ooops! The halyard attaches to the head. Not the tack!
Just in case anyone, and I mean anyone, on this forum thinks I'm an expert at anything sailing, please reread this post.
We did have an awesome time flying the spinnaker. Once I got it rightside up.

p.s. Should I have posted this in @Don Guillette 's Sail Trim forum instead?

 

[Stu Jackson]

Ooops! The halyard attaches to the head. Not the tack!

We were renting a small sailboat for the day, years ago. The folks said: "Go set it up and we'll check it out, then you can go." We set everything up, mainsail ready to hoist, engine warmed up, jib hanked on and ready to go.

The fella came over, looked around, and said: "OK, looks great, just connect the jib properly and you can leave."

Yup, head vs. tack, too.

 

[weinie]

That's ok kermie.

Saturday I was coming back to my mooring in a stiff breeze and was over canavased as the wind really started picking up in front of a incoming cold front. I eased the jib sheets and and pulled on the furling line for the jib but it's not going anywhere. Damn, must be an override on the drum. In the mean time, the sail is flapping around and the jib sheets are twisting around each other. I turn down wind to ease the pressure on the jib to try to free the overide, but with a full mainsail, I'm running almost 8 knots and about to plow into the other boats at the clubs moorings. I work quickly to straighten out the jib halyard and just drop the sail. I turn into the wind with spare seconds before I plow into the sides of a fifty foot beneteau. The halyard is blown and I go forward to pull the jib onto the deck and loosely secure it with the sheets. But as soon as I go back to the cockpit, the wind picks up and starts blowing the sail off the deck. Damn damn. So now I go down to the cabin, find some rope, go back to the bow, fish the sail out of the water and secure it to the lifeline a little better this time. In the mean time, the wind has turned my boat back down wind filling the mainsail and I'm back on a collision course....

I rush back to the cockpit and that's when I realized....

I wasn't pulling on the furling line.... I was pulling on the freakin' topping lift.



oh yeah, and then I picked up the wrong mooring by mistake.... again.
*sigh*

 

[RussC]

As the crowd gleefully cheers.

 

[justsomeguy]

p.s. Should I have posted this in @Don Guillette 's Sail Trim forum instead?

I think you'd get about as much ribbing here as you would there. "...halyard to the tack..."

 

[BudGates]

We were renting a small sailboat for the day, years ago. The folks said: "Go set it up and we'll check it out, then you can go." We set everything up, mainsail ready to hoist, engine warmed up, jib hanked on and ready to go.

The fella came over, looked around, and said: "OK, looks great, just connect the jib properly and you can leave."

Yup, head vs. tack, too.

I've done that twice. The first time a buddy walking by noticed it. The second time the admiral did.

Another time I was taking both of my sisters for their first sail. I assigned each of them a jib sheet to tend to. As we started to tack Alice slacked off of the port sheet as Beverly was pulling in on the starboard sheet. Then THUMP... The boom came down and hit Bev on the head. OMG, how did that happen? I knew that I hadn't hooked up the topping lift but main has always supported the boom in the past. When I glanced in Alice's direction I saw that she wasn't holding the jib sheet. She had slacked off the halyard. It wasn't long after that that I got rid of all the white lines that came with the boat and replaced them with color coded lines.

 

[rgranger]

My worst day ever.... It must have been about 18 years ago, I was sailing a Macgregor V21 out of Kiptopeke State park right near the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay.... My wife was reading a magazine, I was pulling my son in a tube and my daughter was on the bow.... sunny and warm....nice.... around 3:00 a really big Anvil Top started to develop to the west so I decided to head in and avoid getting caught out... I was about 20 yards from the launch and showing off by sailing it in... the main was already down, the keel up and I dropped the jib on final approach... right then a big fishing boat pushed out and its wake knocked me 90 degrees with no sail or O.B... so I quickly started up the O.B. started to make a big circle to position for another approach when my O.B. suddenly died. Unbeknownst to me, my main sheet was wrapped around the prop. Now the wind from the T-storm starts to pick up... the O.B. wont start and we are being blown towards Maryland. So I raise the jib and try to sail her back in... but the keel is stuck in the up position... (WTF!!!!) I had been sailing all day with no problems.... So I'm totally unable to point. By now I'm able to feebly sail away from the rip wrap and shore but I'm unable to do much more than that. Now about a mile from the launch the T-storm really gets close and is looking bad so I decide to take the Mac 21 to shore and let the family walk back to camp. While I figure out the deal with the boat. Family ashore the blast from the T-storm hits... I'm in flip flops in the rip wrap trying to keep my boat from being smashed on the rocks and my shins from being pinned between the boat and the rocks...

... fast forward several hours.... I manage to walk my boat along the shore back to the launch... I have two big cracks in my hull and my feet and shins are bloody.

That night at camp, I lay awake with a horrible sense of guilt. My boat was damaged and I had potentially put my family in a bad situation ... the keel had gotten stuck once before so I should have taken care of that before I took it back out...but I had always been able to just jump up and down in the boat to free the keel from the trunk...and I learned a hard lesson that day about how fast everything can go to sheeeeet really fast.

So that was the beginning of an 18 year long obsession fixing up old boats... I had to learn how to patch the two big cracks in the hull so a crash course (pun intended) on fiberglass repair ......and the reason my keel would not redeploy was because it had rusted a bit and caused the fiberglass around the keel to swell. So I also got to drop my first keel for a refurb. Guilt and fear are great teachers...

Since then I've done major renovation work on two Mac V21 sailboats, a Mac V22, a Coronado 23 and 25, a Rhodes 22, and a Balboa 26. I think I like working on boats as much as I like sailing them.

So some things I learned that day that changed the way I sail...
1) Always have a pair of real shoes on board.
2) Be hyper vigilant about dragging any lines in the water
3) Always have the O.B. at idle on approach
4) Don't leave shore with any known defects in your boats main systems. Even one that seems manageable.
5) Be paranoid about T-storms.

My current boat is not really in bad shape so maybe my restoration days are behind me... ;-)

 

[Kermit]

Interesting and informative story, Rob. We ended up having a great time flying the spinnaker once I got it up properly. But I didn't mention leaving the tack line in the water afterwards. Fortunately the prop found it and wound it up neatly for me without damaging itself or the tack line. It even turned off the engine for me.

 

[rgranger]

It even turned off the engine for me.

 

[Maine Sail]

Easy way to remember...

Your head is on the top of your body..

The sail head is at the top of the sail....

 

[Kermit]

Easy way to remember...
Your head is on the top of your body..
The sail head is at the top of the sail....

Yep. I knew I was attaching the halyard to the clearly-marked tack. Just for that brief moment my comprehension of the word in front of me was off. Sorta like in high school I was about to pull a power boat out of the water on its trailer. The other guy yelled to me that I had the truck in reverse. Well of course I did. And proceeded to back farther into the water. I can't even blame crap like that on old age.

 

[BudGates]

I can't even blame crap like that on old age.

Speaking of that... At what age can I start having senior moments? My mom seemed to have a lot of fun with those and I've been waiting for my opportunity.

 

[Kermit]

Here's proof that I did get it flying.

 

[Ken Cross]

Speaking of that... At what age can I start having senior moments? My mom seemed to have a lot of fun with those and I've been waiting for my opportunity.

Don't rush it. Sooner than you think. Don't ask how I know.
Ken

 

[Stu Jackson]

At what age can I start having senior moments? My mom seemed to have a lot of fun with those and I've been waiting for my opportunity.

Ken's right. And the smaller a boat you have the sooner it starts. Wait!!! Maybe it's the bigger a boat 'cuz you have more to keep track of. Oh, well, get crotchety any time ya want, damnit!!!

 

[woodster]

Speaking of that... At what age can I start having senior moments? My mom seemed to have a lot of fun with those and I've been waiting for my opportunity.

when you start passing gas in public and you don't blink an eye

 

[Scott T-Bird]

when you start passing gas in public and you don't blink an eye

I really wish that I couldn't relate, dammit!

 

[BudGates]

when you start passing gas in public and you don't blink an eye

Sometimes my eyes blink and water when someone else passes gas. (

 

[RussC]

Sometimes my eyes blink and water when someone else passes gas. (

I thought that just meant I had to pee?

 

[BudGates]

I thought that just meant I had to pee?

If you wait that long to pee I hope you brought a change of cloths.