Was your significant other into sailing?

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CO editorial

When you met your spouse or significant other, were they also into sailing? If not, did you teach them? How did it go? Do you sail together now? If they were already sailors, was it this passion that brought you together? What part does sailing play in your relationship with your SO. Inquiring minds want to know your story. Be sure to weigh in this week's quick quiz.
 
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LaDonna Bubak - Catalina Owners

We met in a marine chandlery

Sounds like a title for a corny love story, but it's true. I've been sailing since a teenager & had bought my boat about a year before meeting Rob. At the time he had a C30 and really sailed both our boats equally. Now that he has the Crealock 37, we sail mine more cuz it set up for quick & easy sailing (did you think I'd say something else?). LaDonna
 
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Bob Robeson

No previose expereance

When I met my wife, on the Internet, I was living in San Diego (on a boat)and she was living in Washington. (in a house)Her first sailing expereance was when I took her into the big blue pacific in a little 11 ft center board sloop. We have since owned a hunter 34, Newport 30 and our current C-36. I see a 400 in our furture. Bob & LaRainne
 
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Melody Miller

Can this Relationship be Saved?

Hello Folks: My current S.O. had never been on a sailboat when I met him in fall of 98. Since that time, I've attempted to introduce him to sailing. Although I think he has developed an understanding of the basic principles, I don't think he has the mentality of a sailor. He still does goofy things. Last weekend when the boat didn't immediately respond to the Autohelm, he just kept pushing the -10. Then we made a circle. We were taking turn steering and he casually delayed grabbing the wheel after I asked him to and after I had stepped away from the helm. . . . two more circles. (This has happened more than a few times.) A good thing our two guests had some experience sailing. Whenver "S" doesn't immediately understand what I am doing with the boat, he asks with the most condescending voice. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! S likes to be comfortable at all times and when he isn't, he'll let you know. Therefore I don't envision him ever being able to enjoy an overnite. S might be getting the "heave ho" pretty soon. So to answer to your question, I have not successfully worked sailing into our relationship. I think the individual has to have certain qualities like patience and the ability to pay attention and to forego certain amenities (like AC and fullsize bed) to enjoy the water. Thanks Melody
 
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John J.

Yes !!! it can work

I have sailed since age 5 on the great lakes. My wife and I met in school, and during summers she would come sailing. (the best type of boat there is, someone else's 52ft yawl) After we were married and moved to the great sailing state of Kansas, we bought our first boat. A 78 Catalina 25, that was 15 years and two boats ago. We now have a 310 and spend as much time as we can on it. Our deal with the first boat was to give it one year, and if she and the boys didn't care for it we would sell. Needless to say everyone liket it. Yes, sailing and marriage can work.
 
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pass@fcgnetworks.net

There is only room for one Captain

Well my wife is basically a land lubber and my boys ages 17 and 14 are very adaptable. The first year I introduced them to sailing was last year aboard our Lancer 25. My wife adapted very well wich surprised me. That summer went well. This year we Have a Catalina 27. The sheer difference in the size of the Catalina 27 sent my wife into a panic. 5 August was the first time I put up the sails. Now let me say this, " equality is a must in a marrage but on a vessel there must be only one captain". This I tried to explain to my wife as I was single handedly putting up the main while teaching my son what keeping the bow into the wind meant. My youngest son whom I thought would be my first mate and most dedicated crewmen, joined his mother in a mutiny on the high sea's. I was at awe when this occured. How can such a loving and co-operative crew turn into a bunch of Hoolagins in such a short time. I had to regain control of the situation before something serious happened. I informed my wife that I understood her feelings of being overwhelmed but she and her fellow mutineer were of no use to me or my newest first mate (my oldest son). She must proceed below decks along with her fellow mutineer and place themselves into the brig not to return until I sound the all clear. Now a few minutes passed and the tasks at hand were completed. I summoned the mutineers up on deck and asked them what had gotten them in such a state of bewilderment. They simpley stated they did not know what I was doing and that just the sight of the large sail and sea's and boats and bouys and bells and whistles. (no flashing lights. It was day time) Through her into a frenzy. I explained that I understood and if she would like I would teach a little class as we sailed along out to the Isle of Shoals. The mutineers could learn something about sailin the catalina or they could remain below decks and never set foot aboard the Piccolina again. Well just the thought of me out having a wonderful time sailing my boat alone was enough to convince the mutineers to abandon their Mutinist ways and try to rejoin the crew of the Piccolina. Class was held and the attempted mutiny is a thing of the past. The moral of the story is: on board a vessel you can easily be replaced because if your not going to pull your weight your just excess cargo. On land your still my Honey bunny my eqaul and the person whom I want to spend the rest of my life with. But aboard ship any hint of defiance will be considered an act of mutiny. Is Keel hauling still legal????? Any way boating forms a bond between crewmen regardless of the persons level of nautical know how. By the end of the day my wife and sons held their heads high because the learned that the chain is only as strong as its weekest link. How true! And How lucky I was to be able to sleep with both eyes closed that night.
 
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Tom Senator

I turned a motorboater into a Sailor

When I first met my S.O. (1 1/2 years ago) she liked the shore/beach/ocean & boats in general. She was never on a sailboat before. So I decided to take her (and her two daughters 6 and 11 years old) out for a quick afternoon visit to see my boat.(& hopefully if they were up to it a quick sail). At the time (last year) I had a Watkins 27 ...a fairly roomy comfortable cruising boat. (she used to call her 'ole Betsey) I have learned thru the years that when having 1st time guests on a sailboat, that it is important to let them experience it without having to do a thing. My goal is let them sit back and enjoy the ride as if they are chartering the sailboat ride. I can do this because I can and often do singlehand my boat. This makes the experience extra special. I tell them the most they need to do is move a little if I need to get by or adjust the lines. Luckily I have an autopilot and can safely dock my boat alone. This alleviates any chance for them to do the wrong thing and the possibility of hurt feelings (we can save that for later ;-) After a few times out like this, it is amazing how they want to help like take the helm and things like that. I also start making quick and easy overnighters in very protected waters so the allure of anchoring out and all the great things it has to offer are appreciated. Before you know it she would rather be on the boat than many other places, in fact she has a shore house for a week in August all paid for , but she'd rather blow that off and be on the sailboat. I think it is important that you include them in the decision making of something that has to do with sailing (what food to bring, where to go, what color throw pillows for the cabin ;-) .....this way they get ownership and pride of being part of it....also make it as comfortable as possible in the begining (there will enough days later for miserable conditions ...LOL) It has become so much a part of us that I now upgraded to a new 1999 Catalina MK36II (I've been figuring I wanted a bigger boat this just accelerated the process)...... I've never heard her say so much about how much she loves something before (the boat not me ..LOL)....When we leave it for the weekend she stares at it from the parking lot. She now wants to invite her snobby freinds and show off our (really my) new boat. She always kind of liked motorboats (And yes, we do seem to motor more than I'd like to....but if the wind is wrong or light and we need to get somewhere...???) But know she has no real desire to get that old stink pot....in fact she has come to despise motorboaters and thier apparent lack of consideration for sailors....(i.e.....'the LI Sound is so big...did he really have to steer right in front of our sailboat with such a big wake'....)......... So all in all...I have made her a sailing (boating) lover in less than 2 years.... all she wants to do is go to the boat.
 
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Even I ain't that big of a bozo!

Melody...

Melody, Is there a sign up sheet for crew interviews after this scurvy dog gets the heave ho?
 
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Pat McDermott

The maid of honor

I was best man and she was maid of honor in a wedding. Our friends have a power boat. I moved 600 miles back to my home town to be with her. I always talked about sailing, racing I did, tall ships I crewed, etc. She went for her first sail on our honey moon and was hooked. We finally bought a Catalina 30 this year. She's learning pretty fast, sometimes I have to remind myself that I've been doing this most of my life and what's second nature to me is foreign to her.
 
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JOHN SAINDON

DON'T BE THE TEACHER!!!!

I HAD YEARS OF SAILING EXPERIENCE. IT IS BETTER TO LET OTHERS DO THE TRAINING...IT AVOIDS CONFLICT. I SUGGESTED MY GIRLFRIEND TAKE A BASIC SAILING (MATE) COURSE AT A LOCAL MARINA. AND WE MADE IT A DUO..BOTH OF US TOOK THE COURSE..SO IT MADE IT A TWOSOME /SHARED THING. IT WORKED OUT WELL...SHE EASILY ACCEPTED THE INSTRUCTUIONS OF THE MARINAS PROFESSIONAL INSTRUCTOR AND IT ALL WENT WELL .KEPT ME OUT OF THE CONTROVERSY !! THEN WE WENT ON TO THE INTERMEDIATE SAILING COURSE...TOGETHER...I DON'T KNOW OF ANY WAY OF GETTING SOMEONE INTERESTED IN SAILING WHO HAS LITTLE OR NO MOTIVATION TO LEARN SAILING. I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS WHO WANT TO SAIL BUT WIVES ARE NOT INTERESTED,..AND THEY HAVE NOT FOUND A WAY TO GET THE WIFE STARTED....MAY BE THEY CAN FIND A LOCAL MARINA THAT HAS LESSONS AND SEE IF THE WIFE WILL TRY IT ?? AND IF HUSBAND JOINS IN IT MIGHT MOTIVATE THE WIFE..BUT THIS SHOULD BE VOLUNTARY..IF WIFE WANTS TO GO TO CLASSES ALONE SHE SHOULD HAVE THAT PEROGATIVE..IT CAN BE EMBARRASSING TO TAKE A CLASS WITH YOUR HUSBAND SITTING NEXT TO YOU ACTING LIKE A PRO !!! GOOD LUCK ! JOHN SAINDON
 
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Mark DeBruhl

New Sailor!

When I met my wife, I had been sailing on and off for 15 years. I stopped sailing, except for the ocassional trip on a chartered boat while on vacations. My wife and I both share a love of the water and take our vacations in costal areas or islands. 5 years later while on a long weekend trip in Kiawah Island, SC my wife asked me out of the blue what a sailboat would cost. Jumping at the opportunity to get back into sailing I told her all the "it depends on". This June we purchased a 1980 Catalina 25 and I have been very surprised at how quickly my wife is learning the fine art of sailing. We look forward to each weekend when we can spend time on our boat. She has become quite adapt at all aspects of sailing, except docking and undocking which she prefers that I do. I believe she likes the laid back and relaxing attitude of the sailing life. She tells me it is her safety valve. I believe she is right. Mark DeBruhl
 
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Michael C. Froelich

Sailing With Your Spouse

I was very lucky. When I married my wife, I had been away from sailing for ten years. After being married for five years, I told her I wanted to get back into sailing. She said, "forget about it!" After nagging her about it for a couple of weeks, she relented and I found a very clean '86 Catalina 30. My wife (who hadn't been on a sailboat before) and I sailed 100 miles back to our home port. She was hooked. Seven months later we sold our neat 30 footer and bought a brand new Catalina 36 mark II. Am I a lucky guy, or what? Our boat is our home away from home. We try to escape to it every chance we get. It is a very healing force in our marriage. And believe me, we need lots of healing with five teenagers still at home. Michael C. Froelich "Second Wind"
 
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the Pirate of Sha-lin

Sailing w/ S.O.

My Husband dosen't like sailing, and that's the way I like it. I'm a single-hander, and one thing I really hate is for a non-sailor to try to tell me what to do-which is what he tries. This while sitting on the cockpit floor because the boat is heeling too far (15 degrees). He's good for weight is strong winds tho.
 
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CO Editorial

Final results

Final results for the Quick Quiz ending 8/14/2000: Was your spouse or significant other into sailing when you met? 80% No (101) 20% Yes (25)
 
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