The most insane altercation i've ever had with a guest on board

Jim26m

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Apr 3, 2019
579
Macgregor 26M Mobile AL
First of all, you get "better man of the year". I can most certainly say that I would not have been able to pull it off like you did. Bravo to you.

What a nightmare. I've had a couple of co-workers that talked a lot better game than they played. Had to travel with them, so saw them in various circumstances. When it was only us two, they were almost normal, sometimes actually nice. The minute they had an audience however, it was an immediate transformation into the exact personality you describe. Gotta say that it never once occurred to me to spend free time with them. I have too many good friends to waste my free time on nut jobs.

Funny thing about those types, you never know how the behavior is going to manifest itself. One of them actually took a swing at a co-worker, who, like you, decided to be the bigger man.

On days when it's not blowing much over 10, everybody takes a turn at the helm and a turn at the sheets. They learn what they can and everybody has fun. I have friends that are far better sailers than I. I let them take as much control as they will so I can learn from them. Never had any issues, but again, these are hand picked guests that I have been around long enough to predict their behavior.

Can't imagine what it would be like to do deliveries with an all stranger crew. Just the idea of it sends chills.

Again, you da man!
 
Feb 2, 2010
373
Island Packet 37 Hull #2 Harpswell Me
I would report him to the cops and get a new policy on how to decide who are friends, you must have seen an inkling of his aggressive nature before this.
 
Aug 3, 2012
2,542
Performance Cruising Telstar 28 302 Watkins Glen
That was a nightmare experience. I am sorry your day was ruined. I know that these things can fill a lot of headspace for a few days, and I am glad you can receive some validation here. I am impressed that you could feel comfortable turning over the tiller in 30 knot winds. I know I could not; however, you apparently had her well balanced and in good control, so having reached that state, you obviously felt safe to let others drive. It is a pleasure to let others “sail.” In retrospect, I believe I have let a fellow sailor drive my boat on a windy day. He was an experienced sailor.

I am also impressed that you maintained your equilibrium for so long with this individual. He seems volatile.
I think a power struggle ensued, and the simplest way out I can think of might have been to state that he either turn over the tiller, or you would lower the sails until he did. Thus, power is literally removed from the equation. Then you could take the tiller, start the engine, and motor back, or return to the tiller and sail on. Additionally, you could have responded to his desire to learn by saying you would teach him at another time, but this was not the right time. This would have been a lie, but it would be a legitimate lie used to diffuse a situation.

I know that once these situations start, we have only a few minutes to calm them. I thought you did well.
 
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Feb 6, 2013
437
Hunter 31 Deale, MD
It's easy to say this after the fact but, when he started in about how he could sail circles blah blah blah, he'd never have set foot on my boat. Even if he were an expert sailor, I can't tolerate arrogance.
 

MitchM

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Jan 20, 2005
1,031
Nauticat 321 pilothouse 32 Erie PA
1/ i'd strike this certified 'sailor 2' off my list of rock climbing companions for sure. 2/ be sure to check, does he own an ak 15?
 
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