Senility and Safety on the Water

[MattObjects]

If you haven't been through this yourself, you probably know someone who has had a difficult conversation with an aging parent or grandparent about their ability to safely operate a car. There are even guides published about how to compassionately take the keys from aging relatives. I have not found any guide or advice about how to handle this situation with respect to boating, so I am turning to this forum in hopes that some of you may have dealt with this before and have guidance to share.

There are a number of older members of my yacht club who enrich the club in untold ways with the experience of their many years. Most of these folks have taken a realistic look at their abilities as they have aged and, if/when they reached the point that they were no longer able to safely manage a boat, have either taken on more capable crew to help or have limited their sailing to going out on the boats of others. Unfortunately, not everyone is as aware of their own limitations.

Hypothetically, if a club member plowed his boat into the dock and other boats while inebriated, that would be troubling but dealing with it would be relatively simple. But what do you do when that hypothetical club member does the same thing because he doesn't realize his engine is in gear or understand that putting the engine in neutral will aid the good Samaritans on the dock who are scrambling to keep his boat from riding down other boats? The first step (after stopping and securing his boat!) would obviously be to have an honest and compassionate conversation with the skipper-- but what if that person does not think there is any problem and insists on continuing to operate his vessel?

The primary function of the yacht club is to provide a safe environment for members to enjoy boating, so it seems like the club should take some action in this hypothetical situation. On the other hand, a yacht club is not the DMV-- it does not issue operator's licenses and the only way it has to prevent a member from operating their own vessel on club property is to revoke that person's club membership altogether, which is definitely not a desired outcome here.

There must be others on this forum who have dealt with this issue at their own yacht clubs. Please, share how you handled it.

 

[Stu Jackson]

Got any club rules we can start off with?

Behavioral mods are generally the hardest thing in human nature to deal with.

My f-i-l is now 95 and just the other day had an eye exam. He was fretting (his word: "worry!!!") about this, concerned that the doctor wouldn't let him drive any more. He passed the exam, but the doctor suggested he "scale back" his driving. My wife explained to him that it's not just his eyesight, it's his reaction times and situational awareness which have been severely hampered by age. He'll eventually get it, but having been THE driver for many years (he never did like when his wife drove, 'cuz HE could do it so much better; we know this area like the back of our hands, but he still tells us left up here, slow down...drives us nuts!!!; been on his own for the last six years since my m-i-l died) it's gonna be hard for him to adjust.

I would guess the same is true for the elder statesmen of your yacht club.

Good luck.

 

[MattObjects]

Got any club rules we can start off with?

None specific to this situation. Of course there are rules requiring members to operate their boats safely and, theoretically, a member could be put on probation or have his membership revoked for failure to do so, but I don't want to go down that road if we can avoid it. First because I would like to address this before there is an incident severe enough to warrant that kind of disciplinary action and second because I don't want to force these "elder statesmen" out of the club that they helped create.

 

[Head Sail]

You know, we all get a little slower every year. I had a 97 year old uncle that would still drive to visit his sister. Stuck at home looking at the walls is no fun. Yes it is a risk and danger to the public but so are many things. That's just the way life is. As long as he has insurance, which he must to be at the marina, someone is taking responsibility for any damages. Nice of you to try and help but whether to sail or not is his decision until he cannot be insured.

 

[Warren Milberg]

To me, this all gets back to the subject of licensing -- which I know is a hot-button issue. But think about it. If you can pony up to the counter and pass your check across (or have some one do it for you), you can drive away/sail away in just about any size boat, regardless of your age, physical condition, knowledge of boating safety rules and maritime protocols. You can't do this with a car or an airplane for obvious reasons. Yet you can hit the throttle on a multi-ton boat with no need to demonstrate any kind of experience or capability. We see the results of this lack almost every time we take to the water. What's wrong with this picture?

 

[kito]

If he is constantly causing damage would not his insurance get involved and drop his coverage? No coverage equals no slip at the yacht club. I understand this can be a difficult situation. My Mom was always wondering off at home, getting lost and found blocks away. We basically had to come up with a gate that she couldn't figure how to open. Sad but true. It kept her safe though.

 

[Gunni]

Another hard-boiled Ahab eh? We used to have a club Social Member designation - mostly for the old-timers who were at this stage but were still great fun and contributing members. They did not have to have a boat, or even crew a boat. Take your incidents and concerns to the governing body of the club and ask that they take action. Have supporting witnesses and dates. Discuss excess liability to the club for this operator/member's actions. If the governing body of the club believes there are grounds for action they could start by putting him on notice that his actions are considered problematic and will be monitored. Sort of a probation.

A genial way to manage this would be to keep him in the club, but not allow him to berth/dock his boat without the services of a designated captain. A amendment to your bylaws for Social Member is a good option. If he is irrational, or in denial a club resolution that cites the danger to club members and property should shut that down. He's in a club, the club sets the rules.

Beyond that, if this is not addressed in a responsible manner your best option is to find a new club.

 

[MattObjects]

As long as he has insurance, which he must to be at the marina, someone is taking responsibility for any damages. Nice of you to try and help but whether to sail or not is his decision until he cannot be insured.

If someone is killed or severely injured, no amount of insurance will compensate for that loss. I am glad your uncle was able to drive at age 97, but I bet that if he had been unable to stay on the right side of the road, you (or someone in your family) would have found a way to prevent him from driving (hopefully with his agreement).

Of course, in the example of your uncle, you and your family don't have any special obligation to protect members of the general public. In contrast, one of the purposes of a yacht club is to create/maintain a safe environment for its members.

To be clear, I am hoping someone will have a suggestion about how to help an individual understand that he should not be operating a boat without help. I don't want to embarrass, hurt, or upset anyone-- and I certainly don't want to leave them stuck at home staring at the walls.

 

[MattObjects]

If he is constantly causing damage would not his insurance get involved and drop his coverage?

Thus far, other sailors have been near enough to realize something was awry and to step in before any injuries or serious property damage occurred.

 

[MattObjects]

If the governing body of the club believes there are grounds for action they could start by putting him on notice that his actions are considered problematic and will be monitored.
[...]
Beyond that, if this is not addressed in a responsible manner your best option is to find a new club.

I am involved with the governance of the club, so if the club doesn't address this appropriately I will be at least somewhat to blame for that. It is just hard to know what the appropriate response is. I have to believe there are others who have found a way to address this at their yacht clubs. We do have a social member designation but that would have to be something a member wanted for himself-- the club could not transition someone to social member status against his will.

 

[Gunni]

It's a club, Crash Daddy has no rights beyond what the club governance agrees to. If the situation doesn't remediate (it won't) the alternatives are hard. The club has obligations beyond the wants of any particular member, like life, limb, and insurance coverage. Knowing you have a problem and not addressing it in an effective manner would transfer liability to the club.

 

[Calif. Ted]

Hire a "dock boy" for weekends and whenever your club races to make sure there's someone around to help the old farts when required. It's a club, they've been members a long time, anything done against a members will because he might hit a boat is going to start a civil war, I've seen it.

 

[MattObjects]

Knowing you have a problem and not addressing it in an effective manner would transfer liability to the club.

I am very mindful of that risk. To be clear, we are not yet at a point where we have such a problem. I am trying to get ideas about how to approach this situation before it gets to that point. Thanks for your suggestions.

 

[Stu Jackson]

I will be at least somewhat to blame for that. It is just hard to know what the appropriate response is.

Perhaps we should focus LESS on "personal" implications and deal with SOCIETAL, not behavioral, issues.

Warren, I disagree with licensing for many reasons, but am moving the Canada, which will require me to do the whole danged test cr*p, but that's another story.

To stick with the OP, rather than attempting to deal with this issue ON YOUR OWN, may I suggest you get together with a GROUP of YC members, maybe even including some who have boats (potential HITS for this wandering minstrel) and start TO BEGIN THE CONVERSATION ABOUT how to deal with a situation that is demographic, and NOT personal.

Very NOT personal. If it goes that way, you're lost.

None of us are getting any younger, ya tink?

Good luck.

 

[GGordonWoody]

I think self-realization is the key. The person has to realize the danger he/she presents to himself/herself and others. We were very fortunate that my wonderful father (a former Guadalcanal Marine and later, a long haul truck driver) came to realize his tired old eyes and reaction times were becoming a liability. His mind was still sharp, but his body was wearing out, and he willingly handed over the keys at age 87. We lost him at 91, but he never gave up his pipe.

 

[Stu Jackson]

The person has to realize the danger he/she presents to himself/herself and others.

'Cept that was the reason for the original post. He wasn't.

 

[MattObjects]

To stick with the OP, rather than attempting to deal with this issue ON YOUR OWN, may I suggest you get together with a GROUP of YC members, maybe even including some who have boats (potential HITS for this wandering minstrel) and start TO BEGIN THE CONVERSATION ABOUT how to deal with a situation that is demographic, and NOT personal.

Very NOT personal. If it goes that way, you're lost.

Agreed as to all. I mentioned being part of the club governance only to clarify why I am looking for solutions rather than just passing the problem off to club leadership as someone suggested. I am not looking for ideas for what I should do but for suggestions from members of other yacht clubs about how their yacht club handled a similar situation that I can then share with the other board members of my club when we discuss this.

 

[Davidasailor26]

Hire a "dock boy" for weekends

I like that idea to mitigate the risks. Also I wonder if anyone in the club would want to crew for the more senior members. They wouldn't need to be the best or most experienced sailors, just people with some boat handling ability, to help keep the load off the elders in stressful situations and remind them of key points. In return the crew gets to learn from the years of the elders' experience and grow their own abilities. Whether it would work might depend on how progressed the elders issues are, and how willing they are to both share their knowledge and listen to advice, but it might be worth considering.

 

[MitchM]

the same senility affecting one's ability to captain his ship may affect the recipient's ability to understand the kindly occasional messages about his navigational abilities. I'd review the club's data on accident history of members very carefully. at the next meeting, authorize a resolution giving formal written notice to any member that the member is required to attend a meeting with the officers to discuss the incidents. the offending member may be placed on probation after the second accident causing damage to someone else's boat. if the yacht club and its officers have knowledge of a dangerous condition and do nothing, the club and its assets may be at risk if there's a fatality.

 

[jssailem]

If someone is killed or severely injured, no amount of insurance will compensate for that loss. I am glad your uncle was able to drive at age 97, but I bet that if he had been unable to stay on the right side of the road, you (or someone in your family) would have found a way to prevent him from driving (hopefully with his agreement).

Of course, in the example of your uncle, you and your family don't have any special obligation to protect members of the general public. In contrast, one of the purposes of a yacht club is to create/maintain a safe environment for its members.

To be clear, I am hoping someone will have a suggestion about how to help an individual understand that he should not be operating a boat without help. I don't want to embarrass, hurt, or upset anyone-- and I certainly don't want to leave them stuck at home staring at the walls.

Matt
This is the challenge Gunni voiced. It is the challenge all children experience addressing the maturing of their parents. It's the question "When to take away the keys?" It is not easy. And especially so as you sound like a companionate person. Enlist the club to develop a plan for all members. And find ways to include the challenged members.