Sailing Partners

[Don Guillette]

A message from Lyle Hanna (Vancouver, BC)made me think of something that proves sailing is a small world and we all experience the same things. He said about heeling "also my sailing partner complains excessively (about heeling) which is very counter productive to enjoyable sailing".I made some very significant changes to my boat, which I'll explain in a minute, to keep my wife happy so she would continue to go sailing with me or just come to the boat to hang out.When I was in Long Beach, Ca I got to know a lot of sailors. One thing I started to notice was a lot of them came to their boats alone. Just on my dock I knew 3 or 4 married guys and for the 9 years I was on that dock I NEVER met their wives. They were also YC members and I never saw the wives there either. That was sad to me as sailing should be a family or couple thing.My wife hated the trip to Catalina Island. Frankly, it is a boring passage most of the time. She described it to her friends as "flipping water to the left, flipping water to the right and flipping water in front and in back of the boat". When I would suggest we go there I'll bet you would think she jumped up and down with excitement. Most times she would take the Catalina Express across and I'd bring the boat. She would have liked to take the Express back but if that was the case I just wouldn't go. A couple of times she suggested we get a motel instead of staying on the boat.Can you see how close to the edge this family sailing thing was for me?!!?Back to heeling - like Lyle's sailing partner, anytime the boat heeled she would tell me to get it flat. I'd say OK take the wheel so I can make the adjustment. She'd say I'll take the wheel when you get the boat flat!!! How I got around this problem was to bring the traveler lines, mainsheet, boom vang etc back to the helm. I also had Garhauer build me a 2' long winch handle so I could make jib adjustments from the helm plus I had an adjustable fairlead system. A couple of years before I sold the boat I installed an auto pilot. I would have liked to have had it in the first place but I didn't have the $$$ for one at the time.How do you know when you have been on Catalina Island too long? When you walk down the main street and know everything that is in every shop window.

 

[Terry Cox]

Hi Don, great article. Similar situation here...

I sail solo most of the time as well. Although Patti does attend Mukilteo Yacht Club meetings with me mainly for the social side and great potluck meals. Everything is okay for her up to about 15 degrees then she begins to get nervous. Our itinerary must include some shops. Okay, anything to please the admiral. Scenery wise PNW is bliss...so much to see and do with all the islands, anchorages and marinas. Patti has become much better with sailing over the years. I do all the cooking and cleaning, trimming, anchoring and docking, but she helps where she can. Always glad to have her aboard.Terry

 

[Sanders Lamont]

On the other hand...

I've always envied men who have spouses who like a comfortable sailing experience with the boat on an even keel, making good speed but comfortable for everyone aboard.My wife, on the other hand, loves to bury the rail and see the spray flying!*yksSome of her happiest sailing memories are when we were sailing in club-owned small keel boats on San Francisco Bay on July afternoons. I dunno why it is, but she just loves the exhilerating feel of booming along while I am happy to be reasonably heeled so I can make it below to the refrigerator comfortably.When we both skied, which seems related, she was the one who pointed straight down the fall line and happily screamed her way down the mountain, while I, on the other hand, took a nice cruising turn every few seconds. Something about being in control I like.My grown daughter mentioned the other day she really likes the boat best at the dock on a sunny day with a good lunch. That's the price I pay for taking her sailing when she was a toddler, and having the boat flattened by a gust. She didn't forget it. Apparently, neither did I.No gender generalizations here.Different strokes....Sanderss/v Good News

 

[Stu Jackson]

Healing heeling

One of the ways we found to deal with this issue is to take sailing lessons, and/or have the "Admiral" take sailing lessons on her own or go out on other "girls-only" cruises. In many cases, taking the wheel, rather than having hubby do it, makes all the difference, for many different reasons. Face it, unless you're on a lake with winds always on the beam, there are times when you simply HAVE TO sail upwind. Whatever boat you have, if it's a monohull, is GOING to heel. The ability to learn to live with heeling, and even enjoy it, I believe, is one of a feeling of being in (some kind of level of) control. Just being a passenger doesn't ever hack it, which is where most of the problems arise. Ever had some fun input about your (car) driving?So, consider handing the wheel over, and consider the myriad of alternate ideas that will help the other crew member enjoy sailing and heeling, because somewhere down the line on any given day, you're gonna have to sail upwind.We took lessons together on our old C22 in the early 80's, after a few lessons on other boats. We learned what the boat can do, which in many cases exceeded our expectations.And, oh yeah, learn to reef, it's more fun that way anyway, the boat sails faster!

 

[CharlieCobra]

I used the "We need to pratice MOB's" trick

to get mine to take the tiller. I told her "What're ya gonna do if I fall off?" It worked and she got comfortable with heeling up to about 30* after that one. She LOVES playing Titanic by sitting halfway out the forward hatch while we're booming along to winward throwing spray. I just have to warn her when we're gonna tack so she can duck.

 

[Alan]

Don

Something tells me your wife is English. The last time I heard "flipping" I was a little kid in England. It's a pretty standard expression there.

 

[Don Guillette]

English Wife

Alan: Actually my wife is a Long Beach, Ca beach girl. Flipping is a word I used to cover up the word she actually used to describe the Catalina crossing, which she didn't like. What folks look for is first the island itself. Then you look for buildings. Then you look for windows. When you can see the frames in the windows your almost there!!Normally that crossing is very boring but once when I was coming back alone and towing a dingy I encountered some large swells and the dingy swamped. What a mess I had on my hands. Two things happened after that event. One was she came back with me or we didn't go at all and second I bought a set of davits.