Sailing noob, needing wife convincing advice

[Rich (P303)]

sailor or driver?

If you are not a sailor now... I suggest getting a power boat. It is like driving a car. Bring your wallet for the fuel dock... $500 for a fill up would not be unusual. Take a seamanship/navigation course from the Coast Guard Aux. Happy driving.

 

[Doug]

sailing

is doing, power is watching. You ride a Duck but did you watch races or race in them. If you rode you'll like the challenge of sail. If your gal was the type to sit around the pit looking hot doing her nails, she's going to need a power boat. Get a real woman and a sailboat.

 

[Ross in Tampa]

there is no compromise to this...

Let me just chime in here. Your wife wants a powerboat, you want a sailboat. You will not win. As sorry as I am to say this, get the powerboat. If she needs the speed and noise of powerboat, there is no substitute. Anything else would be a compromise in her eyes. I am so fortunate, we are sailors. As someone else said... it's about the voyage. We sail as much as we can, normally it's once a week, and if we're really lucky, 2 days with an overnight on anchor on the weekend. We don't care where we're going, we know when we get there. Another very valid point point is the fuel situation... I am still burning the same 6 gallons of fuel that I put in the tank in July. Last fall, we sailed to Bradenton to stay at one of our favorite marinas. A power boat was at the fuel dock at the same time as us as we were heading out to sail back to Tampa. He was going to Clearwater, a little further than our destination, but he put 500 dollars in fuel in, we put 15.00.

 

[tkanzler]

I'm in the same boat, in a manner of speaking

I have a Hunter 340, but the admiral won't go below because it makes her queasy. At the dock. Tied up. :~(She's from a powerboat background (FIL has a 42' trawler), and she likes all the glass and not feeling like she's in a hole, and doesn't seem to mind the smell and noise. Lack of smell and noise is one of the reasons I got into sailing, as opposed to power. 10 gallons of diesel each season is another good reason.The only options I think I have are to get a pilothouse sailboat, like the CSY 44 (bigger than I want), get a stink - er, power boat, which does have the advantage of allowing easy cruising of the Erie Canal, continue single-handing my 340, or buy a summer house on the lake and get another trailer sailer (or watch everyone else sail from the back porch). So now I'm weakening, and have been looking at 34-38 well-used trawlers and such. I want her to enjoy boating too, and feel a bit guilty about such an expensive pastime that she doesn't enjoy as much.I feel your pain, but if she's set on a powerboat, I think you're done.

 

[Brian M H23]

silly

But a week ago, I saw a 43' powerobat on ebay with a 15' ish mast rigged on it. I wonder how fast it can sail?

 

[PrincessoftheLake]

How about a womans point of view?

It always makes me sad to read all these posts from guys who love to sail and the wife will have nothing to do with it. I have been sailing with my husband for 17 yeats now and I have come to believe that most women (not all) don't like to sail. I know a few happy sailing couples and some very enthusiastic women sailors but compared to all the guys I know that sail the number is quite small. This has been a puzzle and a mystery to me for all the years I have been sailing. My husband never had to woo me to sailing for I fell in love with it the first time he and his friend John took me sailing in May of 1990. Most of my sailing friends over the years have been men. I have a couple of gal friends who share my passion but not many. One thing I do wonder about. There are maybe some guys who are secretly happy she is not more interested. I remember a few years ago my husband and I were at a friends house, who also sailed and owned a pocket cruiser. We were doing what the three of us always do when together, talking about sailing and looking at a sailing magagzine. My husband ventured an opinion about something with the boat that I disagreed with. Some verbal sparring ensued. I remember our friend muttering that he was glad sometimes that his wife didn't care that much and I have often wondered, how many guys are secretly glad she is not more interested? If she is not involved she is not barging into his territory, he doesn't have to share or compromise. My husband and I clash frequently since I usually have very strong opinions that I am only too happy to share. Lucky for me he is always willing to listen and as I said, compromise. I wish I knew tha answer but I don't. All I know is that sailing with my husband over the years has made us a great team, on and off the boat. Not to mention all the priceless memories we have collected.

 

[SEADANCE]

There is no wife convincing

So she is itching for a powerboat and you are thinking of getting a sailboat...wait till she see's how far you have to anchor to get close to shore and what she has to get in to get to shore/islands. Think of the sighs she heaves when a motor boat passes you by quickly or how close to shore they can pull up and then you'll be explaining to her till your blue in the face why that is not possible....oh stuck in bad weather and how quickly motorboats can get back..the list goes on. That would be my not tickle me pink moment for you. Then again I love sailing..you just have to love it or hate it. I finally got it down..the BackBay ...the Channels ...pulling her in and pulling her out... like a swan! Why?? because I wanted too and to show my hubby.."I can and I will". This weekend we were the only ones out on the water...15-20 knot winds seas 2 to 4 feet and we had great sailing for about 6 straight hours. Hit about 6.1 knots...had a blast....the dull days...no wind...slowly motoring... she will absolutely and now pay attention ......"Throw in your face." If you love sailing and just have to have it to fullfill your life.....Get a new wife or wear that sh*t eating grin your going to have to have while she is pulling that motor boat out of the slip and that grin does not look anything like this--->B/Seadance

 

[Shippy]

Battle is over

from my personal experience, my ex-wife was a powerboat fan. she wanted to get there fast, not have to do any work - just steer, and didn't care how noisy it was. we had gone out on her brother's bayliner a couple of times and I knew it wasn't for me. I enjoyed just being on the water regardless of the desination, but I like it peaceful. I also like the challenge of sailing. To me, the worse type of vacation is one that you sit around at a pool or on a beach and just read and relax. drives me crazy! I have to be doing something or exploring. So I new that a sailboat was not in my near future with her. Fortunately, she is now my ex-wife and my new wife (hate calling her that) loves sailing. Not saying you future will be similiar, but I knew that there was no way to convince the ex-wife that a sailboat was the way to go. She would have been miserable which in turn would have made it miserable for me. A Macgregor or other motorsailer might be a good compromise, but you don't get the big beaming boat with all the stuff she might have in mind. Only advice is I wouldn't buy a sailboat and hope she falls in love with it, because you could wind up losing a great bit of money (either on the boat and/or divorce).

 

[TN]

"It's your boat too" by Suzanne Geisemann

I'd recommend you read "It's Your Boat Too" by Suzanne Geisemann. It might help you understand why you wife might prefer a powerboat to a sailboat, and it might help you both figure out whether the conversation is really about whether to get a powerboat or a sailboat. Make sure you at least read the excerpt on Amazon:http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0939837692/ref=sib_dp_pt/002-9946590-6396837#reader-link

 

[letterman]

dunno

Wife likes power, claims more comfort, wider beam for "stuff" and faster, which in my opinion is relative.How old is your wife? Youngun's like the power thing of not having yet another thing to do besides prepare the family for an outing. The older they get, the older the kids get, the same amount of work, but...the kids tend to disappear.Does she like to heal, or did she ever heal, on a sailboat. If no, then she needs to experience that first to see if she likes it.We have several women in our marina who insisted on powerboats or nothing. They won't even go on a free sail, in 5 knots of wind, on a 37' sailboat!! Hate it! They love the speed of travel, getting there now as opposed to in hours, and a relatively flat cruise, and the wind in their hair. Makes me want to puke, but thats why I am single. My neighbors wife hates being on their 32 foot stinkpot boat if its even rocking in the slightest at the dock! in simple terms, buy the stinkpot and get some, or not!

 

[TJ-LJ Champion]

What everyone here is forgetting

Be thankful your wife has sea legs and enjoys being on the water to begin with! There are so many spouses out there not even sharing the love of the sea. Yes making compromises can be a b***H, but I would assume a healthy relationship chock full of kisses and smiles is worth ten thousand sailboats.Here's a thought, get the powerboat, then buy yourself a sailing dinghy, once your anchored in, hoist the sails and let her watch you have the time of your life. I know it's not YOUR dreamboat but maybe you can make friends with the other Sailor guys and crew or be invited out with them from time to time. You get the best of both worlds and a sane marriage.LIFE IS TOO SHORT! Enjoy with bravado any moments of joy especially with those you love.Best of luck!Laurie

 

[motogpfan]

wow

First off let me say you this has been the most accepting board I ever poked my head into. I'm used to the motorcycle forums,most start out where the members are being a bunch of assholes to a new person, including the one I run. So let me say thanks to for the acceptance.I didn't want to make it sound like my wife is saying it's power or nothing. We have a very nice Malibu Response competition ski boat, so boating is nothing new. She is a great driver with or without a skier. The question came up when we had an offer on a 1997 Silverton 372 for sale from a friend for a very, very good price. I almost pulled the trigger but told her I would like to explore the option of a sailboat. She was so amped about the Silverton she didn't want to hear it. Now that about a week has passed that initial excitement is fading. Today she mentioned going to a sailboat show in the next few months, then taking some sailing lessons. So I think she's willing to give it a full try. We don't have any kids and are not planning to have any, so freedom is not a problem. I appreciate all the input from everyone and will stay on board seeking more info about general sailing life and sailboats. Someone mentioned a show in ST.Pete, If I find out full details we will most likely attend, if anyone here will be there let me know, the first round is on me at the nearest watering hole. On another note, If anyone is into Ducati or Italian motorcycles feel free to drop in on my forum, I promise we'll be nice. http://www.coastalducaticlub.org/forum/index.php

 

[letterman]

do some homework too

The St. Pete show in first week in November. Google it. Also look at the Lats and Atts site as they are usually there with free beer and pizza.Next, google YATCHWORLD and type in whatever you think you might like. Going to compare a Silverton37? Then type in sailboats, used, 37 to 37 and look at the specs. There are many interior shots too. My take on the differences between sail and power for the same size boat is that the sailboat has lots more room in it, but the powerboat has a bigger deck for chairs and such...but...I took my sailboat out fishing the other day and we had tons of moving around room. Course she is a 37'er and has a walk around deck compared to a lot of other sailboats. The reality is there are a lot of similarities and differences. You have to choose whatever floats your boat (couldn't resist.)

 

[motogpfan]

I'm in, I think

ok, it's official

 

[motogpfan]

yo

cool it worked, the wife in question is in my avatar, yes she rides, and will sail,

 

[Ross]

Let me know if you can convince her that

ttaking a mistress will be good for your marriage.

 

[motogpfan]

mistress?

no need for a mistress. just the wife. Grassroots Motorsports magazine, April issue. center page spread.but enough about her, lets talk more boats.

 

[higgs]

Get tough

Tell her if she won't go for a sail boat you will find someone who will.

 

[Phil Herring]

moto...

Is that your Monster?