Don't quit just yet
I agree wholeheartedly that you should not be out in conditions that will put your boat and crew at risk. However, heading for home is not the only option when the boat becomes unmanageable under reefed main and 110 jib at 20 kts. If you are not close to shelter and your motor quits, you will have to sail. Assuming you have depowered the sails as much as you can, the next thing to do is drop the jib. In 20 kts of wind, the H23 becomes so docile under main alone you can shake the reef out. However, don't shake the reef out if the wind looks like it is going to keep building. Try not to cleat the mainsheet when the wind picks up, especially if it's gusty. Ease the sheet as needed to control heel, especially in the gusts. With a properly trimmed jib, you can ease the main until there is a big bubble in the luff and still have good boatspeed. I have found that excessive heel is the greatest cause of weather helm in an H23. If your weather helm is so severe that you can hear the water roaring off your rudder blade, it's time to ease the mainsheet. Try sailing under main alone sometime when the wind isn't too strong and you will see the difference that dropping the jib can make. You can also have a second set of reef points added to your mainsail. This option has been discussed here in the past and is probably in the srchives. It's a lot cheaper than buying a 70 percent jib, and gives you a third option for sailing under main alone. Good luck! Peter S/V Raven
