Ride a motorcycle?

[Brian D]

A rookie police officer pulled a biker over for speeding and had the following exchange:
• Officer: May I see your driver's license?
• Biker: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
• Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
• Biker: It's not my bike. I stole it.
• Officer: The motorcycle is stolen?
• Biker: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the tool bag when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the tool bag?
• Biker: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the dude who owns this bike and stuffed his dope in the saddle bags.
• Officer: There's drugs in the saddle bags too?!?!?
• Biker: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the rookie immediately called his captain. The biker was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the biker to handle the tense situation:
• Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
• Biker: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
• Captain: Who's motorcycle is this?
• Biker: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
• Captain: Could you slowly open your tool bag so I can see if there's a gun in it?
• Biker: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the tool bag.
• Captain: Would you mind opening your saddle bags? I was told you said there's drugs in them.
• Biker: No problem. The saddle bags were opened; no drugs.
• Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole this motorcycle, had a gun in the tool bag, and that there were drugs in the saddle bags.
• Biker: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

 

[SFS]

A great joke AND a Dave Groshong like. A rare double, in concert (I miss George Carlin).

 

[Kermit]

I got caught peeing in the pool recently. The lifeguard screamed so loud I almost fell in.

 

[Gene S]

Last week I got one bike out but the weather keeps changing from sunny to rain.

 

[Gunni]

Looks like a Ducati Monster.

 

[Gene S]

Yes, an 08. I love it. Pulls like a tractor and turns heads everywhere except they think the clutch is going bad. Ducati clack.

 

[Gunni]

Didn’t know Ducati was building a 1200 cc version. 3lbs/hp!

 

[WayneH]

I'm still twisting the throttle on my '02 Honda VTX 1800C.

Bassboat Metalflake Blue and Marble. The wife said UGH when she heard it but loved it in person. The Artist faded in the wings on the tank. I actually saw someone run their finger across it trying to feel the grooves.

 

[Terry Cox]

The new Kawasaki H2R, what an insane bike, at 300+ HP. Bought a 1960 Sportster XLCH with a P2 cam in 1961 in Springfield, Illinois. Rode it home to Willapa, Washington while on leave from the Navy. Nice bike, fast and fun to ride. It produced 55HP from an 883CC engine. Sold it for a 1960 Buick LaSabre in 1964. Those were the days.