Wow! Thanks for all the wonderful responses! Everything y'all have said is 100% true. We raced on Saturday. Winds were on the beam at about 15 knots with gusts to about 18 for the first leg, and I was keeping up with all the big boys! What a great feeling! Then we had a tail wind for the second leg, and even though I don't have a gen pole, we were able to sustain wing-on-wing until we reached the next buoy. The boats with gen poles overtook me at that point, but we were still doing great! Around the last buoy - ugh - headwind. This is the longest leg of the race, all the way back to the dam. The wind started gusting up to 20-22, and we were still hanging in there, but had noticeable drag. I was pointed off, like I said I would, to about 45 degrees, but to no avail. My racing nemesis then overtook me and the other boats just left us behind. The wind was fierce that day and by the end of the race, was a steady 20 with gusts over 25. I was glad when it was over, I'll tell you that much.
My take from all this: I need a new main sail for sure, and it sure wouldn't hurt to get a new jib. Also, my rigging is too loose. I noticed this yesterday when I was at the dock. I will adjust all my standing rigging tighter, and I think this should help as well. All the advice I received here as been invaluable and very encouraging! Thanks so much!