Racers Ego/Attitude

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Ducati

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Nov 19, 2008
380
Boatless Boatless Annapolis
Fellow sailors

I crew on a race boat however my wife won't anymore. She did for years but found that the variety of big egos with attitude were to much to put up with. I never had a problem with that however a few of my other friends quit racing too because of the same issue.

Are the majority of racers really full of themselves and is my bride correct in her view of us who like to go fast in a sailboat?

Happy Racing!
 
May 23, 2004
3,319
I'm in the market as were . Colonial Beach
The one line answer is actually a question......How much alcohol have they had?
 

Tim R.

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May 27, 2004
3,626
Caliber 40 Long Range Cruiser Portland, Maine
Come race with my group. No big egos because it is competitive enough to keep you humble. We were out last night in 46° and rain. 10-12 kt. winds made it a lot of fun. All the egos either washed away or froze!
 

Ross

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Jun 15, 2004
14,693
Islander/Wayfairer 30 sail number 25 Perryville,Md.
I have friends (husband and wife) who sail competatively on separate boats. Not their boat. In their case egos are not involved they just enjoy the competition. They do however admit that what should be just fun turns into something much different for some folk. If your racing club has lost track of the fun and made winning all important it is time to change clubs.
 
Oct 26, 2008
6,432
Catalina 320 Barnegat, NJ
Competition is a funny thing ...

In my opinion, there is no better way than competition to sharpen your skills, renew your focus and enthusiasm, and socialize with like-minded people. For me, it applied to ski racing more so than sailing. In general, I think competition is difficult for people with a fragile ego because failure is too unsettling for them. If you are going to enter competitions than you have to learn to accept humility and failure because for most of us, winning isn't a regular occurence. Of course there are always a handful of people who win almost all the time so either they find a way to be gracious so that they can get along, or their ego alienates them. There will always be a few who win all the time and have an ego that is maddening to all the rest, it can't be helped.

So, in my opinion, if you can accept defeat and have no fear of looking foolish, competition can be a great way to improve your sailing skills, keep sailing fresh, and socialize with other sailers. I wish I could race our boat, nobody seems interested in a cruising class ... it's all one-design on our lake. I have a problem with my wife, though. She is insecure about looking foolish and won't socialize in a competitive environment. I am gently trying to build her security by suggesting that winning isn't the point, and that when we do have an opportunity to race, we can make it fun when we have a good attitude about it.
 
Sep 26, 2008
566
- - Noank CT.
Your wife is Right !

It is the type "A" and type "B" personality thing ! ! To your wife's way of thinking, it is too competitive and "ego" fueled, and she may be very well correct depending on your race group. Some live to win no matter what while others live to enjoy. Personally I think competitive racing (i.e. organized) is not enjoyable but that is me and it would appear you wife also. She has made that observation from sailing with the group she USED too sail with. As far as your friends leaving maybe they just lost interest because it was not fun for them anymore. It would appear to me that you have the best of both worlds as your wife apparently has not infringed upon you and your sailing time. What more could you want ! She is right !
 

RichH

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Feb 14, 2005
4,773
Tayana 37 cutter; I20/M20 SCOWS Worton Creek, MD
Sailboat racing has declined precipitously in the past 20 years. Now you may know why.

Back in the 70s & 80s in my area there were as many as 6-8 large fleets racing, today there is only 1 or 2. I still race but strictly avoid the 'ego types' as I know that I will 'outlive' them .... and still win a few and have fun.
 
Oct 26, 2008
6,432
Catalina 320 Barnegat, NJ
Re: Competition is a funny thing ...

There's also that thing about having to be at a specific place at a specific time and going thru the same routine as everybody around you ... many people find that to be too tedious and is a turnoff about racing. I can understand that attitude, sometimes it is tedious. In ski racing, it was always important to me to get away and free-ski as much as possible to maintain a balance between skiing for competition and skiing for fun.
 

Ross

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Jun 15, 2004
14,693
Islander/Wayfairer 30 sail number 25 Perryville,Md.
Re: Competition is a funny thing ...

I read about one boat in a race that stopped for lunch in the middle of the race and of course finished dead last and got a trophy for the best attitude.
 

higgs

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Aug 24, 2005
3,736
Nassau 34 Olcott, NY
In crewing one will find a wide variety of personalities. The trick is to find a spot on a boat that fits you. I have crewed for the anal who yelled at every problem and the laid back who just went with the flow. The best skipper ever, for me, was the guy who crewed for Heart of America. He wanted to win, but realized that it was not always in the cards. He never raised his voice.
 

higgs

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Aug 24, 2005
3,736
Nassau 34 Olcott, NY
Forgot to add this: Never, under any circumstances, should a skipper demean any of the crew.
 
Feb 26, 2004
23,353
Catalina 34 224 Maple Bay, BC, Canada
It's the people, stupid

and attmpting to categorize any bunch of people in a congregated space is plain unfair. I've heard of a lot of cruisers who are plain ahs and they simply show up in a different place, the club bars, and are simply less compacted. :):)
 
Jul 20, 2005
2,422
Whitby 55 Kemah, Tx
I used to say for years "I hate racers", but now my best friends are racers :) but of course, they are also live-aboards like me and also own a Hunter and also good football fans, so we have a lot in common.

Many racers do have atttitudes, espeically if you are not a racer, but I've learned it is possible to at least hang out with a few and not be part of the attitude thing. I don't consider myself a racer at all but I have done a few offshore races and I like those. Can't wait for the Harvest Moon Race this year.
 

RECESS

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Dec 20, 2003
1,509
Catalina 27 . St. Mary's Georgia
It is funny how just one person can really warp your perception. A long while back I knew a guy that just lived to race. He was a real nice guy, until sailing came up then he was a real blow hard and I could not imagine being crew on his boat. He was constantly looking for crew members. I now have quite a few friends that race and travel within 3 or 4 states to compete. They are the friendliest people and will go out of their way to help a competitor just before a race to make sure they will have a good race.

From that first friendship of a racer I still am weary when people start to talk about how much they love racing. One out of about twenty people I know that really love to race made me cautious of the group. Strange on my part.
 

DannyS

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May 27, 2004
933
Beneteau 393 Bayfield, Wi
We started racing two years ago. Our first race was a distance race, not an "around the bouys" race. It was a reverse start based on PHRF ratings so the slow boats started first and the fast boats started last. It was a great way to get into racing, most of the boats were cruisers like us and very laid back. At one point in the race, we were dead last out of 40 boats...that was before the wind kicked up. We finished in 5th place. It was just my wife and I on board, and since then, my wife's competetive streak has come out!
Last year, we signed up for the Bayfield Race Week cruising class and had a great time. I believe this will be a permanent fixture in our summer sailing. The cruising clas is a great way to go. We all seem to have a similar mindset when it comes to racing, it adds an edge to our cruising and no matter how good you are, there's always something to learn. The other interesting thing I found is that when racing, we push ourselves and boat much harder than we do when cruising. It's nice to know what we and the boat are capable of.
 

Sailm8

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Feb 21, 2008
1,751
Hunter 29.5 Punta Gorda
I have belonged to two sailing clubs and both of them gear everything toward racers and their needs. The meetings are interminable with arcane discussions about rules, rating and sail shape. Most of the members are cruisers who wait patiently for our crust of news about and upcoming event.

At our first club I held the office of Social Chair and was in charge of parties etc. We worked hard to increase activities for the cruisers and our club grew. Scheduling however, was always done around the sacred race schedule and timed for the end of a race. The racers would hit the buffet line with their crew and race out after eating. No help with preparation or even clean up. After all they were tired after racing all afternoon.

My present club is much the same. You sort of see how the club is divided when after the 1st bathroom break 75% leave when the racing trivia begins. My wife and I have made many friends both cruisers and racers in this club but we are exploring cruising only clubs in our area.

I would like to hear how other clubs handle the racer vs cruiser problem. I have only had experience with two clubs so I don't want to make generalizations, but my experience has been cruisers get the short end of the club.
 

Tim R.

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May 27, 2004
3,626
Caliber 40 Long Range Cruiser Portland, Maine
Our club is mostly cruisers(100 boats, half power) and about 20 are racers. Everyone gets along fine. We even host an annual regatta for the GMORA fleet. We throw a big party afterwards and invite everyone from the club. It is always a great time.

We also actively try to get cruisers involved with racing to prove to them how much fun it is and that we are not all a bunch of cut throats.
 
Feb 6, 1998
11,760
Canadian Sailcraft 36T Casco Bay, ME
I know the type..

Back in the early 90's while in College I was invited and asked to crew on board a brand new boat owned by a guy with deep pockets but little experience. He amassed a very good crew and I was to serve as tactician as I knew the local waters/currents/winds very well.

Everyone on the crew had a minimum of 10+ years of sailing and racing experience over this guy. The only problem was that he apparently already knew everything there was to know and refused to delegate stuff and decisions to the folks he chose to make those decisions and that should have ultimately been left up to those of us with experience in their invited specialty.

The bottom line is that I suggested to him where he needed to be, current wise, on an up wind leg due to a nasty 1.3 to 1.8 knot current against us. The difference between a reverse rip current with a +.2 to +.4 knot boost for about a 1/4 mile and then a nearly static current for another 1/2 mile was 30 yards from the line he chose and you could clearly see this rip.

He was adamant that there was no wind where I suggested he go. Of course this is because he could not see the wind/cats paws on the water due to a low, six foot tall, spit of land that blocked the wind from rippling the water close to shore but there was plenty of wind above the water.

Needless to say a cruising boat with 12 feet less waterline passed us like we were standing still and he became irate yelling at experienced fore deck guys and a very experienced main trimmer and me the tactician.

I never set foot on that boat again and neither did the rest of the crew...:)
 
Jan 25, 2007
366
Cal Cal 33-2 cape cod
Fun of racing

Racing your own sailboat is a great way to get the most from your boat and your skills. It is important to find the right race that works for you. I travel across the bay for a pursuit style PHRF race, it cost $35 and the start is staggered (avoiding jams) laid back and fun. I go with 3 guys from my hockey team, after we go to a local topless bar for beers.

The Figawi started out as a fun race with 4 friends, no $$$, and a sail to Nantucket, then bonfire party on the beach. Now they are charging between $400-$600 per entry, few hundred more for the party, and have power-boats racing. Add big business, advertisers, ect., and it's the place to be seen, I guess.

It's like spring break in florida used to be for college kids, now they block off the beach MTV hires professional dancers and a rapper gets on stage to promote his latest stuff, advertisers, big business, ect., and then they charge the kids an entry fee. Anyone can race, keep it simple, the best races for me have been unofficial, figure out your handicap, then race a friend to a favorite gunk hole. Here's my Boston moped race to Rowes Wharf, I came in second place out of two racers, but stopped on Newbury St. for coffee.
 

Attachments

Jun 8, 2004
853
Pearson 26W Marblehead
Racing my 2c

Im from a very competitive racing area. In the 80`s I owned a pearson 10M and used to race it. PHRF I had a decent crew and most did what they were supposed to. I never raised
my voice. If someone didnt hold up there end they were not invited back. I figure if you`re going to race you should put out your best effort. I didnt do too badly. As the years went
by newer lighter boats appeared on the line and when it became obvious my boat was no longer competitive I dropped out. Racing is what it is. There are all kinds of temperments out there then and now
 
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