Possible BVI trip for us, need protocol advice

[DAVA390]

So, The Admiral`s daughter is dating, "going with" a boyfriend who is a few rungs above us on the tax bracket ladder. Exhibit A would be the upcoming New Years trip to Paris.

Within his group of oldest friends (closer to our age than hers, he is 12 yrs older than her) they are scheduling to charter 2 (or maybe 3) Cats in August. I think I heard talk of Tortola and Moorings at a gathering this weekend we attended with them.

The possibility exists that one couple may have to cancel, we have been asked if we would be interested in the berth if that occurs.

Although we hadn't planned on that kind of spending next summer (What,? 3-5 Grand, airfare,provisions, 1/4 of a $12,000.00?) week, it might be to good to, pass up, with the Admiral being able to spend a week with beloved hubby(me) and beloved Daughter.

Although I run the risk of coming home and throwing rocks at my boat while buying a bigger one that I`ll just "have to have", I`ve told her to keep us on the short list and see what develops.

What are proper protocols, hints, for a week with strangers in close quarters. I am normally very polite and friendly when necessary , but can be quite dense at times..

Any advise would be appreciated.

 

[Stu Jackson]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

It would seem to be that the answer is: Be Yourself. The really nice, cool, fun-loving person that you are.

What else is there? Avoid religion, politics, anchors and discussions of the "best of..." anything, especially beer and liquor.

Have a great time. It's really, really hard to F up a week in the BVIs.

 

[Picflight]

Go for it! If anything, you will come out of it with a wonderful experience.

 

[Pat]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

It will be an experience that will change you forever. Go and have a wonderful time..
Patrick

 

[shemandr]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

As for time with relative strangers in close quarters I have a few suggestions:
Respect others privacy. Especially when it comes to the head. Turn on some music or vacate the cabin. Same for those changing clothes. Don't make them ask you to beat it.
Remember everyone is on vacation and few people like to be run around on their vacation. If someone wants to do something or doesn't, that's it - end of discussion.
People sometimes need their own time. Not everyone wants to be social 24/7. So if someone goes off to read alone, or just away from the group, it doesn't mean there's something wrong. Some people just enjoy me time.
If you can, get two dinghy's - That gives greater flexibility for folks doing different things.
Don't snore.

 

[Ron20324]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

I've been there 4 times. Offer to cook, clean the dishes, keep your own personal items in your cabin, not all over the boat, pay your share of provisions and whatever expenses might come up. It would be good if everyone kicks in maybe $100 to a kitty that someone pays the common bills from- things that ALL will use- dinners NOT included.

 

[Sailm8]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

The kitty is a great idea. It will cover mooring balls, marina fees etc without anyone going around collecting shares.

Don't over provision. Despite good intentions, we seemed to end up eating ashore more than we planned.

A typical day would be anchor up mid morning. Sail until 2 or 3. Take a mooring somewhere followed by early happy hour and a trip to shore for another happy hour, food and back to the boat for a nightcap. Repeat

 

[zeehag]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

wear decent clothing for checking in--not bathing suits or shorts or stuff that casual. remember uk has much more prim and proper style of dress than usa, in general....

you will love it there....

 

[LANCE ON CLOUD NINE]

Like usual, my suggestions come from initially having done it wrong. All wrong. Suggest that every single person is encouraged to try all positions on the boat - helm, anchor, sails, docking - don't use a ton of sailing jargon, but relate how beautiful it is to be under sail with friends.
On perfect days, when the boat is in a groove, make sure everyone rotates on the helm. Sometimes they need to be asked twice.
Mark and pass the chart around during morning coffee.
Before the trip, encourage everyone participating to download the same electronic charts on their phone or tablet so that they can daydream and picture possible routes before they arrive at the boat.
On a big cat have several pairs of binoculars.
Have a whistle on each person.
Take some fishing gear even if it not your normal thing.
Good luck. Have fun!

 

[Warren Milberg]

Re: Possible BVI trip for us,need protocol advise

I've found that it is best to discuss and agree on ground rules before you leave the dock. How will cooking, cleaning, boat handling and navigation be handled? Who does what and on what schedule? Is the person at the wheel the "captain?" This is especially important if any of the other crew are not experienced sailors. BVI is a great place to sail, so get the basics out of the way first and then go have fun.

 

[Winkfish]

As a corollary to what Warren said, make sure there is ONE captain per boat, regardless of who is at the helm.

 

[NotCook]

One Captain

As a corollary to what Warren said, make sure there is ONE captain per boat, regardless of who is at the helm.

And a further corollary, support whoever that captain may be. It is hard for us to not be the captain, and it can be hard (at least for me) to not take control. It's a vacation - sail trim doesn't have to be perfect, but certainly offer to trim, or handle other duties.

We just returned from a week in the BVIs earlier this month. It's hard to get lost there - everything is so close together. The biggest challenge is deciding which islands and moorings you are going to visit in the short time you have. We settled on not pushing ourselves and just relax and enjoy ourselves.

Have fun!

 

[JK_Boston_Catalina310]

The BVIs is a great place. We loved it (been twice) and it has inspired us to sell everything and run away to the islands on our 31 footer.

That being said, I think there is one important thing to take into consideration. A charter week in the BVIs is nothing but a big booze cruise. Every day you will likely be drinking more than you are sailing. I would question if that would be a comfortable situation for you and the admiral with her daughter. There would also likely be a lot of just wearing bikinis and possibly less. If you guys would be comfortable in those situations, then I would say go for it.

The sailing is very simple. It's almost all line of sight. You will hop from mooring to mooring for the most part, maybe some anchoring if the moorings are gone by the time you get there. Beautiful area with lots of great things to do and see.

Fair winds,

Jesse

 

[Alan K]

Go for it! Pitch in with chores. Let everyone have their own space. No competition...it's a vacation. My experience is that everyone finds something to do that they enjoy and are good at...cooking, steering, navigating. Let em do it. Don't over pack. There won't be room for a lot of gear, and you won't need much. We always draw straws (or cards) for cabin selection. You'll have a great time.

 

[Winkfish]

Another thing I just thought of, which was only tangentially alluded to in your original post, is you and your wife dealing with your daughter and her boyfriend. Have you spent time with her and a beau before? I would suggest deciding if you're comfy with that set up. And talk to your daughter about any concerns she may have in that regard. Come to some sort of understanding about "space".

 

[roniszoro]

DON'T DO IT!

A sailing trip with the new boyfriend and his friends has lots of downsides and few upsides. Your future relationship with this man, if he becomes your son-in-law, is risked if things don't go well. So why do so? Let's face it. You were invited to fill a slot as an after thought.

Take your trip to the BVI's on your own at some other time. The odds of this being a success are not great.

 

[Steve Walsh]

All good suggestions and I think JK_Boston brought up an uncomfortable situation to consider. It could be a booze cruise and the resulting lack of inhibitions probably means your daughter and her boyfriend will be dragging each other below often for some (think screamers) private time, not to mention the other crew's adult activities. All part of the fun, but I would prefer not to be around my daughter when she was doing her boyfriend. Could put a damper on things.

 

[Chris Patterson]

I didn't say anything earlier, but now it's out there, I'm firmly in the same camp as the last two posts. Not for ten thousand dollars.
For all those reasons, and a few more.

 

[DAVA390]

Thanks for the replies and opinions guys, a lot to think about. As I knew would happen, a lot of stuff that hadn`t occurred to me. The turn in the last 3 brings to my mind an old Allen Alda movie, 3 couples on a sailboat, one of the guys has a hot young wife, funny movie but not want I`d want to experience...

 

[Picflight]

I changed my mind, now advising to take a BVI trip by yourself. I will be more fun with just you and your other.