Overheard On VHF 16 Today

Roger Long · Jun 2, 2013

My best VHF laugh of the past few months:

It was the opening day of Rockfish season in Chesapeake Bay. Those guys are collectively beyond idiots. I was sailing into Solomons with a friend in dying wind, dead straight course, about 1.25 knots, enjoying the sunshine and quiet. Suddenly we here a horn blowing and look up to see a charter fishing boat coming at us with everyone waving us to turn because they are about to tow the paravane outrigger they use to "kite" their lines far out to the side right into us. They had at least a quarter mile of open water on the other side.

Another time I heard one report that they thought they saw a burning boat. The Coast Guard asked if they could go over and take a closer look. They said, "Negative, we have fishing lines in the water right now."

Anyway, enough background.

Unknown boat but clearly a RockIdiot: "Container ship coming down the bay passing under the bay bridge."

Ship: "This is the XXXXXX, go ahead."

Idiot: "I just thought you would like to know that there is a fishing tournament going on down here by Thomas Point Light and a lot of boats have their lines in the channel."

Ship: "Thank you for that but don't worry. Those lines won't bother our props one little bit."

Chef2sail · Jun 2, 2013

Yeah the chatter has begun,

I March we heard a panicked voice over Channel 16.

"Help, Help Help" from a man.

The CG got on and and asked him" what is the nature of the emergency. Is anyone in a life threatening situation."

The answer was " no, put I have run the sailboat aground in the channel in the Magothy River"

CG replies..." OK Captain, what the name of your vessel"

Reply...." Let me look....Its called Tartan" "Its got a big mast and we are stuck sideways in the mud"

Turns out a couple of young adults were drinking and commandeered a Tartan 27 and ran it aground in a shoal off of Dobbins Island which was their destination.

shemandr · Jun 2, 2013

There is the famous… "I am a lighthouse - your call"
If you don't listen to channel 16 when you're cruising you a missing a rich experience and lots of entertainment.
One of our favorite VHF days was listening to boaters, one after one, calling a famous marina on BI, with the phrase -"I made my reservation last December…" Response: " We'll try to get you in … please stand by"...

Tim R. · Jun 2, 2013

Mmmm, ham and cheese.

Scott T-Bird · Jun 2, 2013

My favorite response from the German Coast Guard ... Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, we are sinking!

The response: vhat are you sinking about?

Calif. Ted · Jun 2, 2013

My favorite was a large new power boat out of Newport Beach, CA the skipper explained to Harbor Patrol that they just bought the boat and took it out of the harbor to "try out the anchor" but now it wouldn't come back up.

Navicula · Jun 2, 2013

my favorite....was my own..............
we were heading out the channel and my wife was talking to me and I heard a MayDay...MayDay...MayDay......come over channel 16.......I said shhsh....there is a MayDay...........she says...WHY...........I said.... because there out of ICE......................................

I was 30 miles away and they were helped

Brian D · Jun 2, 2013

Like Calif. Ted, my favorite was my own encounter with a Naval War Vessel (as the operator called himself). 4.5 miles away he calls me. I can't even see the guy. LOL

kloudie1 · Jun 3, 2013

Not on channel 16, but moving a friend's boat in front of hurricane Andrew some years back. Arrived at highway 90 Rigolets bridge about 02:00 .. Asked for an opening.. tender said she was dealing with a vagrant and couldn't open just now. We saw vagrant run into the machinery shed then the semaphores and flashing lights started.. on and off.. guy was meddling with the machinery and throwing wine bottles at the tender who was trying to roust him from the shed.. Police finally arrived and got the guy out.. bridge opened and we all went on our way.. Still laughing remembering the foot chase around the sheds and down the bank as the tender and the police chased the guy..

Roger Long · Jun 3, 2013

I think the best two I've heard in Portland were:

(In thick accent): "Beeg steamer, beeg steamer! Do you see us?"

And:

(In that so impressed with myself voice you hear from many power boats):

"Security, security, security, This is the 36 foot Searay XXXXXXX departing Portland bound for Boothbay Harbor. Standing by for concerned traffic on channel 16."

This was on a clear day. Really, no clue whether he was just pulling out of Dimillo's or was at the sea buoy or somewhere in between.

rfrye1 · Jun 3, 2013

This one is non verbal.

2 weeks ago Saturday in San Diego Bay, a Navy cruiser was inbound, I'm guessing 10 kts. Some fool tacked directly in front of this cruiser and from my angle looked to be 300 yds in front of Cruiser. The cruiser blasted this horn that was that loudest horn I have ever heard. And to top it off, I think the horn got stuck, because it stayed on for 10 min! Anyway that sailboat retacked so fast and we watched it sail straight back toward a marina. So either the Mrs gave the final days order, or the skipper had to go change his shorts! Everyone on SD bay saw that one, so whoever that guy was, there was no hiding.

That could have been a very serious deadly mistake. Glad it turned out the way it did.

Bob.

Al - s/v Persephone · Jun 3, 2013

One that I liked happened on our way down Buzzards bay out of the Cape Cod Canal on the way to Nantucket:

Voice on 16:

"Radio check ..... Radio check.....Radio check....... etc., etc.,etc.,.......

Good imitation Aussie voice:

...."Load and clear, Mate in Sydney, Australia"

No more "Radio Checks" on 16.

Fair winds,
Al - s/v Persephone

Don S/V ILLusion · Jun 3, 2013

"Hey Joe, I just pulled up to the fuel dock and they asked me if I have diesel or gas. Do you know?"

JK_Boston_Catalina310 · Jun 3, 2013

Yeah, this weekend was the start of the idiots down here too.

First it was the endless "radio checks" on 16. A couple in the middle of distress calls.

Then we had these new guys who just bought a Catalina 22 (I mean just, the add was on Craigslist last week). They launched it Saturday. Then on Sunday insisted on taking it out. Six of them with at least 3 breaking the 300 lbs mark. The winds were 22-25 kts sustained and gusting over 35 kts. A couple people told them they should rethink going out. But they responded "we just bought the boat, we have to go out."

We were coming back from a local anchorage when we hurd the marina workers talking on the VHF. They tried to put up the mainsail. Got knocked down (looks like they didn't have the keel down). Couldn't motor back into thier slip because the combination of the wind and current was too strong to fight. The motor (a 70-80's Yamaha) stalled and wouldn't restart and they tied onto a nav aid. They didn't have a VHF and called the marina on thier cell to have the launch town them back to their slip. The launch stuck them on a mooring and told them to move their own boat on a day with better weather.

Can't wait to see what else this crack crew has in store.

All U Get · Jun 3, 2013

Last fall in Norfolk, Va. near the fleet anchored there we overheard the call "If you do not leave our restricted area, you will be fired on". We thought we were alone until we saw a gray vessel between the many anchored in the harbor heading in our direction. We were glad to finally see that it was a tug and the offending white sailboat was someone else, not us. However we did alter course to the very edge of the travel channel away from the USN.
All U Get

letterman · Jun 4, 2013

hope this is taken well

Worked on my boat for three weeks, with weekends off. This equates to 7 hours a day, which when your arms don't work is a LOT. Twas the end of work Wednesday last week when I heard 4 small boat toots, a splash, and a guy yelling (it was on the other side of a very tall retaining wall.) Being to tired to investigate, I called the CG which is close by.
"CG Cleveland this is XXXXX calling, do you copy over?"
A females voice answered "XXXXX This is CG Cleveland"
"I heard (see explanation) and wondered if you could check it out, over"
A males voice..."We are here"
"Well if you are in the area, it sounded like a man overboard situation, over."
The same mans voice "Thats us, we are practicing our man overboard drills"
Well then...Sounds like you have the situation well in hand, over and out"

In other words, I called the CG on the CG. That has to be a first.