It seems to me and im not claiming to know, that if everything is relative then the question isnt the density of the star being redistributed, or the propogation of the wave, but rather the medium the waves move through and how the properties of that medium affect the wave. For instance the flashlight, the beam will be a different diamiter at a different distance, because of the type of wave,1, and the medium it moves through,2, if the star was scattered the same ammount of matter, less what was converted in the explosion due to nuclear forces which thoug small is signifigant, would by distance be barley perceptable the further away you got from it, like the radius of a propogating wave in a pond from a tossed pebble, if you were close enough to fit the ripple in your arms it would be east to see, but on the other side of the pond would appear as a horizontal bar between your arms. If light cannot escape a black holes gravity and certain wavelengths of light are affected by atomic mass on an individual atoms basis or how those atoms are arranged, say gold vs carbon vs diamond? reflecting and absorbing or just refracting light by wavelength. then untill we really know "why" a given photon in a given wavelength is absorbed reflected or refracted, or what really causes the gravity to be there then its just all guesswork, like really knowing exactly any of the forces really are, just because we can harness properties of the physical universe dosent mean we understand them...recently light has been slowed down in a magnetic feild to slower than walking speed, and measured to do so, then returning to normal light speed after passing the feild.