Manners, Manners, Where have they gone??
- Thread starter Maine Sail
- Start date
Its not a national thing, its a regional thing. There are still places were people are decent and friendly and polite, just as there are places their not.
losing faith
Over the 4th we could not face the people and chaos that is notorious in our harbor so we visited some friends on their boat in a quieter marina. We left our boat in its slip. We were expecting to have to wash our boat off of salt water from water guns, etc. but we did not expect downright thoughtless behavior.
We had friends who spent the 4th on a boat across the fairway from our boat and watched the boat on one side of us unplug our powercord, use it for whatever, and when the took their boat out, they draped our cord over our rail. Evidently they plugged it in eventually because it was plugged in when we got down there on Thursday night. On this same side, there was huge globs of hamburger cooking grease that we still can't remove. There was a stack of trays of food and chips and tupperware on our dockbox as well.
The boat on our other side brought in not one but two dingys and secured them with a wire cord to his boat. One dingy with its huge motor extended 1/2 way across our slip on our stern so we could not get out. We saw that on Monday night and figured they'd move it by Thursday but no....it was still there today when we went to take our boat out. We worked and worked at it and finally got them situated where we thought we could get out, called the marina office and when we came back ready to leave our slip, the owners were moving their dingys around. When we returned from sailing all day , we could not slip on our docklines correctly and finally realized that this same people had untied and probably used our docklines and retied them too tight making it almost impossible to hook the dockline on the opposite side.. There were muddy and sticky fingerprints on the boat all around the cleats where the lines attach.
We have requested a slip change, I am so sick of unthoughtful boaters, I can't imagine impacting my neighbor in any way but thoughtfully. There have been other incidences but we were trying to overlook them.......... now they just serve to underline our desire to change slips. I don't hold out much hope though for getting 2 good neighbors anywhere.... I hope I'm wrong. FWIW, both neighbors are power boats......
Over the 4th we could not face the people and chaos that is notorious in our harbor so we visited some friends on their boat in a quieter marina. We left our boat in its slip. We were expecting to have to wash our boat off of salt water from water guns, etc. but we did not expect downright thoughtless behavior.
We had friends who spent the 4th on a boat across the fairway from our boat and watched the boat on one side of us unplug our powercord, use it for whatever, and when the took their boat out, they draped our cord over our rail. Evidently they plugged it in eventually because it was plugged in when we got down there on Thursday night. On this same side, there was huge globs of hamburger cooking grease that we still can't remove. There was a stack of trays of food and chips and tupperware on our dockbox as well.
The boat on our other side brought in not one but two dingys and secured them with a wire cord to his boat. One dingy with its huge motor extended 1/2 way across our slip on our stern so we could not get out. We saw that on Monday night and figured they'd move it by Thursday but no....it was still there today when we went to take our boat out. We worked and worked at it and finally got them situated where we thought we could get out, called the marina office and when we came back ready to leave our slip, the owners were moving their dingys around. When we returned from sailing all day , we could not slip on our docklines correctly and finally realized that this same people had untied and probably used our docklines and retied them too tight making it almost impossible to hook the dockline on the opposite side.. There were muddy and sticky fingerprints on the boat all around the cleats where the lines attach.
We have requested a slip change, I am so sick of unthoughtful boaters, I can't imagine impacting my neighbor in any way but thoughtfully. There have been other incidences but we were trying to overlook them.......... now they just serve to underline our desire to change slips. I don't hold out much hope though for getting 2 good neighbors anywhere.... I hope I'm wrong. FWIW, both neighbors are power boats......
Change slips? I'd change marina's, then I'd come back to go for a swim with some prop fouling cable...or a 3/4" hand drill.
How come nobody mentioned the person who takes their time coming out of a parking space at the mall when you are waiting to get into it? After about 30 seconds I usually pull behind them and let them know I am there and when their backup lights go on I keep them waiting for about the same amount of time they kept me waiting. Spiteful? without a doubt but people today have no manners or consideration. However, this is why I like sailing. My attitude on the water is so much different towards others than it is on land. Rarely do I find boaters rude and inconsiderate...even the power boaters here in NJ. Lately most go out of their way to keep their wakes to a minimum. Surely one of the best parts of sailing is to be out in the ocean, far away from others.
[ After about 30 seconds I usually pull behind them and let them know I am there and when their backup lights go on I keep them waiting for about the same amount of time they kept me waiting. Spiteful? without a doubt
sorry, I think you are adding to the problem in a big way. I think you are one of those people who make me shiver. Really, you can't allow someone a minute or two to get themselves situated. That parking spot is theirs as long as they are in it.........calm down, gee whiz.:cry:
sorry, I think you are adding to the problem in a big way. I think you are one of those people who make me shiver. Really, you can't allow someone a minute or two to get themselves situated. That parking spot is theirs as long as they are in it.........calm down, gee whiz.:cry:
Have you considered that that kind of behavior is making things worse and that you become no different than "them?"
That's plainly pretty STUPID.
How can you be considerate on the water but not on land? No apologies required, but I surely think you have it completely bass-ackwards.
Why not be considerate ALL the time?
Not so hard...:naughty:
The insulation provided by an automobile does these things to people, just like the internet. The best advice I've heard on such a subject is to "put yourself in their shoes".
there are teachable moments.
at other times, feedback is required for obnoxious behavior. Otherwise systems become unstable. This is just as true for people as it is for electrical circuits.
Courtesy is a form of feedback. but not the only one. If we are lucky we have the foresight and wisdom to determine the effective type of feedback correctly for the situation.
I would be hesitant to apply severe correcting feedback without a lot of background information and observations.
That being said, I was below deck and tied up at a dock at on a calm saturday afternoon at friday harbor two years ago, when an older 39 ft bayliner driver pulled into the slip next to me, and proceded to hit our boat, tearing our aft midship starboard side stanchion loose and slamming us into the dock. I came scrambling up on deck as that stanchion ground its way down his hull the remaining 30 ft into the slip. As I look up a young child looks over the side of their flybridge and says "grandpa..........we hit them really hard..........". I pushed their boat farther away, however the captain of said vessel, never came over to discuss the damage he generated on my boat. Being the type to rarely yell in front of children I waited as he examined his own hull damage.
At no point did he ever come over to offer an apology or explanation for damage to my boat. Nor did he offer renumeration, or an insurance card. I do believe that he felt since my boat was older.........it was no big deal. I reported the incident to the port captain at friday harbor, and waited, later I asked for insurance information that turned out to be false.
I guess I have matured. I did not hunt the boat and operator down.
But I do wish I had taken my 24 oz framing hammer onboard to better illustrate the damage to the other boats fiberglass.
I guess I wasted a teachable moment there.
at other times, feedback is required for obnoxious behavior. Otherwise systems become unstable. This is just as true for people as it is for electrical circuits.
Courtesy is a form of feedback. but not the only one. If we are lucky we have the foresight and wisdom to determine the effective type of feedback correctly for the situation.
I would be hesitant to apply severe correcting feedback without a lot of background information and observations.
That being said, I was below deck and tied up at a dock at on a calm saturday afternoon at friday harbor two years ago, when an older 39 ft bayliner driver pulled into the slip next to me, and proceded to hit our boat, tearing our aft midship starboard side stanchion loose and slamming us into the dock. I came scrambling up on deck as that stanchion ground its way down his hull the remaining 30 ft into the slip. As I look up a young child looks over the side of their flybridge and says "grandpa..........we hit them really hard..........". I pushed their boat farther away, however the captain of said vessel, never came over to discuss the damage he generated on my boat. Being the type to rarely yell in front of children I waited as he examined his own hull damage.
At no point did he ever come over to offer an apology or explanation for damage to my boat. Nor did he offer renumeration, or an insurance card. I do believe that he felt since my boat was older.........it was no big deal. I reported the incident to the port captain at friday harbor, and waited, later I asked for insurance information that turned out to be false.
I guess I have matured. I did not hunt the boat and operator down.
But I do wish I had taken my 24 oz framing hammer onboard to better illustrate the damage to the other boats fiberglass.
I guess I wasted a teachable moment there.
very stupid move. hope you realize if they innocently decide to put it in reverse and crush the side of your car they are not liable for damage to your car. almost every state in the union is no fault when it comes to private property and parking lot accidents. I know with my truck i would have absolutely zero dollar damage to my rear bumper,while you would incur hundreds if not thousands to the side of your vehicle when my reciever hitch punctured you door.
Try to pressure me into moving so your ass can get my space that I patiently waited for? I waited and so can you till I'm good and ready to move. Pressure me and I'll take all that much longer. Intimidation won't work on this chap. Maybe you can intimidate some old lady but it won't work with me or my wife. My wife will back out blocking you from entering and wait for someone else to come along and happily give them the spot you so cherished.
Bulling doesn't work and that is exactly what you are doing. Sorry Charlie
"Polite society started dying the day it was no longer necessary for rude men to physically defend themselves from the consquences of their actions or words."
I saved that quote a while back, author unknown. But its very true. For example, a guy might think twice about blocking a guy in a parking spot with their car, if they knew there was a high probability of getting his a$$ kicked.
I saved that quote a while back, author unknown. But its very true. For example, a guy might think twice about blocking a guy in a parking spot with their car, if they knew there was a high probability of getting his a$$ kicked.
While it is a stupid move on his part, back into me and when im stopped and I can absolutely assure you I will get paid by YOUR insurance company, not mine. Using your logic you could intentionally back over a child and get away with it?
If wouldnt come over to disuss it I would have initiated a discussion and called police or whoever, and asked him not to leave until authorities arrived and I we had a report filed, exchanged insurance, etc.. Good chance he had a snootfull, possibly why he avoided you.
An accident is one thing, and an apology can most often appease me, even if I suffered minor damage. But blow me off and ill bring the full weight of the law down on it.
My Dad had a brand new Chrysler in 1968. It was three days old and we were at the Air Force Base getting groceries at the Commissary. We just parked and were walking away as this mom and her five kids were getting into their car alongside us, and the one kid batted his door into our car several times while the kid on the other side did the same to the car opposite. Dad walked back to look, told the women they scratched the car, and she made some snotty comment about it was "just a scratch". He said it was a brand new car and she said "so what?". He told her to stay put and he called the MP's. They likely had her tied up a good four or five hours signing papers over that little scratch. If she had simply apologized and balled her kids out he would have let it go.