Maiden Voyage (continued from prologue) So there is my beautiful new boat, which I am very proud of, moored just in time to invite some friends and in-laws out on my virgin cruise for the parade! You may say I should have invited my enemies instead, but didn't I mention the in-laws?... This whole thing starts out very early in the morning, and it's cold, as cold as it gets down here, so I donned my foul weather gear, mostly just for affect, as I was going for that George Clooney thing. (That should have been some fore-shadowing right there. Wasn't that movie about a boat having some difficulties?) So off we go! The plan was to hook up with a bunch of acquaintances who had their boats lined up in tandem so you could walk accross from one to the next and generally party. I've got the Yanmar humming and the crew are on the stern rail seats and deck and I'm enjoying an ain't-life-grand moment, with a big cigar...alas, how I wished that moment lasted. Up ahead we spot our group, so I motor over toward them. They're all decked out in just about anything(I recall some dressed as chickens) hanging around on their huge yachts-in fact I was to find out that this particular breed were called Sea-Rays (big stinkpots). So they're all looking at me come in, then they watch me go right by! Well, darn it, I'm having serious difficulties with the controls, the wind, and a bunch of anchor lines to boot. So I turn it to starboard for another pass, this time I'm headed straight for the canal bank, where more boats are moored! I'm telling you I'm yanking on those Johnson Controls and shouting commands, like where is the manual, but is has gotten out of my control. (Please, there was never any true danger here, heck, we were doing less than a knot, but I had a strong concern for that shiny finish on the gelcoat!)We are waving frantically at the those moored along shore as if they could get out of the way, but they're just waving back... but not for long. It was all like slow motion... by this time I've found the pull stop but momentum carries us, plus the confounded wind, and we're being pushed off by stranger's hands toward...the bank. Amazingly we stop gently, bow stuck in the muck, and tie up to a tree. By this time we have developed a crowd of onlookers and were given a standing ovation, I'm told. I was below, in the head, hiding. I recall feeling distracted, and wondering about such off-the -wall things, such as if I'd given proper instruction on use of the marine head to the female crew, and if that red liquid in the bilge could maybe mean a blown transmission...maybe it was shock. During this time one of the Sea-Ray fellows dingied on over, found me in this state, and politely knocked on the marine head door. He mentioned they'd much enjoyed the show, but would I come on over please. I asked if he could possibly tow us with the dingy, as I'd lost all confidence. Turns out it was simply proper use of those controls-some old salt reassured me. A little WD-40 and we were back on our way! To heck with the parade and motorboats, I gotta sail! So out we go onto the lake and... wait a minute, I thought if you pull on this red line the mainsail goes up, and I thought if you pull on either of these other two the jib will unfurl...on second thought, let's just call it a day.