Stop the slamming and banging
DavoArts is correct about the winch height, you’re faced with two problems in your recovery;
The winch MUST be level or higher with the bow eye when the boat is in it’s final resting position. You want to continue to lift the bow as you’re pulling the hull up to the bow chock not pull it down.
Ideally the bow chock should be above the bow eye so it’s not in the way. I use the bow chock as a position guide when the eyelet comes in contact with the bow chock, the hull is perfectly positioned. See attached photo.
The second problem you describe is your reluctance to back into the water. The trailer is not deep enough for you to over come all of the resistance by the hull sliding on the bunks.
Catalina Direct sells a reinforced bow eye for those who continue to try to over come this. And now I see where they offer a super heavy duty bow eye.
Two ways to solve this; Back deeper into the water or install a tongue extension on the trailer.
Placing the vehicle axle in the water, crawl under the rear of your vehicle and look at the differential case and the axles right near it. You don’t have to worry about the front axle, it doesn’t get wet. When looking at the axle you’ll see a black rubber hose, the size of your little finger coming down from the underside of the floor to a much smaller line that will run across the back side or top of the axle to each wheel, this is for your brakes, a similar black hose running down from the underside of the floor near this location is a breather hose that is high enough to allow the axle to be submerged without water entering it. If there is no hose as the one attached photo shows then the breather will need to be modified before submersing.
A Google search shows a Toyota change over to a higher location for this type of breather.
http://www.customtacos.com/tech/index.php?article=86
I think this would be far cheaper and easier than adding a tongue extension and fiddling with it!
If you have a hose running from the axle or differential up to underneath the floor or bed and just ends then you have a submersible axle and differential. If you back your vehicle in deep enough for water to enter this tube then you would have water to the wheel wells in the bed of a pickup or 1/3 the floor of a van or suv. So you can submerge your wheels deeper than the center of them, or till the water almost covers the tailgate or in my case to the center of the bumper and not deep enough to get the carpet wet in a conversion van.
A bow roller on the trailer is a great aid in boat recovery but still works the best when the trailer is deep enough in the water.
How deep, deep enough for the front edge of the bunks to be about 3 inches under!