Live Aboard Question

Phil Herring · Jun 17, 2008

Sorry to hear that

That really is a bummer, but if it's any consolation, most of us on this board have been there... and survived.Living aboard is a great idea and I believe it will be very healing as well.I lived aboard for four years in circumstances not unlike yours, and IMHO the most important things are:- Refrigeration. 12v is great for living aboard because your batteries are always charged and you don't need to run the engine.- Heat, if you need it in the winter. Forced air will help with condensation.- The head. You'll want a sound system with decent holding tankage and for my money, a usable shower. Good luck -- it gets easier and in fact, a hell of a lot better than it was before.

LANCE ON CLOUD NINE · Jun 17, 2008

Sorry to hear about your situation at home

If I were you, I would move on to your boat tonight! It will help clear your head and keep you sane. There will be nice people around. Just grab the bare necessities and make a run for it! It is your time! After a while, Put out the word that you want to move up. Someone else will be looking to move down. People will talk and magic will happen. After you read this, put doubt aside, turn off the computer, get up and get going!!!! GOOD LUCK!

Tsehum Pete · Jun 17, 2008

Quick Decisions

Quick decisions in times of stress may not be the best ones in the longer term. Humans (and me) have a tendency to overload ourselves with distractions in times of emotional pain. It might be advisable to not make any major changes such as new boat in your life right now until things become a little clearer. When you become more settled might be the time to make major decisions. I was there once many years ago and survived well, just took time. A good counsellor will help you work through these tough times. A company plan might be available.I wish you well,Pete

Patrick S/V Shangra-La · Jun 17, 2008

Sorry to hear that....

That being said...I personally like a center cockpit boat with the larger aft cockpit, but you can do the same thig with something like the catalina 38 or larger with the aft cabin.Don't be in a rush to get it. Moving too fast can and in many cases present problems you can not fore see at the present time. It has been said always waite 6 months before making a major change. It gives you a chance to weigh the possibilities.I'm not sure where Colonial Beach is, but some of the things you may want are...central A/C with the reverese cycle heating, as said above 12 volt refrigeration, a good head yes but also a place with good showers at the marina. Let those showers get wet and keep your head dry to prevent mildew. Be prepaired to be a minimalist especially if you want to continue to sail the boat. Nothing puts a damper on a days sail like having to spend a couple of hours stowing your "stuff" to go sailing.Good luck...I hope the future is brighter for you than your presant situation. It is great that you have a support system close by.Patrick

CharlieCobra · Jun 17, 2008

My first wife asked me to move out on an Easter Sunday

after I hunted eggs with the kids. I went through 60 days of hell but it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I ended up with the kids, a new woman (dang what a difference) and life went on. Stay with your Bud until ya get a new boat and moor it closer to work and then move aboard. Good luck to ya. Do yourself a favor and don't spend too much time looking back.

seadaddler · Jun 17, 2008

Hang In

Go slow what ever you do and don't make any changes too fast.Many years a go I did not see the writing on the wall when my xleft me and my two son's for some one else and went to another state.So I know what you are feeling and it really hurt and almost did me inbut my son's needed me and I worked too many years to let her screw me up.Best thing ever happen, her not happy any more with me and kids,me and the kids did just fine and met angel from heaven,we are happy married for 15 years twogrand children and every thing is super and she is unhappy again and hasn't seenher son's and grandchildren for years.Maybe things will work out with you and her or maybe you will do just fine,go slowand let your friends and family help until the smoke clears.Nick

Buck2796 · Jun 17, 2008

I've been there also

As bad as it is now, things WILL get better. Stay strong, move on, get some Zolof if you feel you need it, don't let her beat you up, and remember, when one door closes, another opens. Keep your head together, don't give up or give everything away. You WILL have a great future.As far as a good liveaboard boat: for the money, consider an old Morgan 41OI. Big old CC, that will give you more live-aboard-ability for the buck than just about anything else. And you can find one in your price range.Good luck.... Your world next year WILL be totally different and totally better than today.I know, a few years ago, I wet thru what you are going thru now.... I am SOO much better off now, I can't believe how I could have let myself be manipulated by "her". Have faith in yourself !

Liam · Jun 17, 2008

Make life what you want it to be

My first wife walked out on me after 24 years. I was absolutely crushed! Didn't even see it coming. I spent about 3 months feeling sorry for myself. Then I thought F___ this! How long do I want to feel this way? I quit my job and went traveling for a year. I had a fantastic time getting to know myself and understanding what I wanted from life. That was ten years ago.Once I started looking forward to what I wanted instead of looking back and blaming myself things improved rather quickly. Opportunities came my way and I was free to pursue them or not. I didn't always make the right choices but all in all my life has moved forward in a very positive way.I believe that once I understood who I was and started living my life my way I began attracting friends and lovers who really cared about me and not just what I could do for them.Hang tough and take it slowly. You will figure it out and it will DEFINATELY be better.

Jim Seamans · Jun 17, 2008

Bad Obsession - when do you get back?

Sorry to hear about the problems. Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. Now I have Joan. I don't think I can improve on what has already been said. Was on a Morgan (which is the link) very impressed with the boat and livability of it.Go slow, Go slow. Don't know how old you are but think of where you want to be in 10,20 year. Go slow.Jim

Jadedcrew · Jun 17, 2008

Just remember

that the boat needs to be one that you love to sail (and look at).

sailortonyb Allied Mis · Jun 17, 2008

Sorry to hear that.

But....things always work out for the best. I been there and done that twice (slow learner). When I lost everything in hurricane Katrina, people would say, "i'm so sorry for you" and i would reply that I was divorced twice and am getting used to starting over again.Anyway, as others have said, dont make any quick decisions. As for your Catalina 30, me and GF lived on ours for 4 years and were very comfortable in it. Everyone does have different levels of comfort. We had central heat and air, 3 burner stove and oven and a small refrigerator, microwave, crockpot, electric skillet etc. This is probably not a good time for you to take on another debt. Consider that you may take a while to sell your Catalina 30, so if you want a bigger boat, sell the Cat first.Tony B

Rick D · Jun 17, 2008

Join A Yacht Club

It doesn't have to be a big or expensive one. A volunteer club is often better anyway. Good connections, around people who like to sail, you can hook up with one of the women's sailing associations and volunteer your boat and if all this turns out to be so much BS, quit. Not much to lose. Try it. PS: it took decades to tell people my first wife ran off with a hairdresser from Balboa Island........ things definitely get better.

Doug Burton · Jun 17, 2008

OK

Now that we have a commom thread as it seems we all have been there done that some of us twice, that in itself should help you feel less isolated. Seems it's part of life. I'll add "If you don't know what to do, DON'T DO NUTHIN!" It's really easy to make a tennative situation worse (cops have a habbit of that) It's a learned control issue, at work you have to be in control of all situations or bad stuff can happen. It ain't that way in the rest of life. You get free counsoling at work so go get it. After you ride out this storm it will become clear. 1 more truth "If you can control just yourself, you're ahead of 90% of the population"

Ctskip · Jun 17, 2008

There's not much more to add

as most everyone is speaking from experience. Not only go slowly, but remember we are our own worst enemy. Nobody can do a better job on our psychthan we can do to our selves. We beat up ourselves up real good. The worst thing is looking backwards. Look forward and talk it out. It's real good therapy. I also liked the part about joining a yacht club and teaching sailing, using your boat. What fun that would be. Life is good, Keep it up, Ctskip

letterman · Jun 18, 2008

you can live on anyting but

Light, water, toilet, microwave, a small tv, computer, and cell phone is all that I can think of.I lived in my Dodge Omni for a month when my ex locked me out. I wouodn't want to camp out like that again, but anyting is possible.A Catalina 30 should be more than adequate, but you might look at a boat the same size or larger that you can butcher the interior to suit your needs, and won't depreciate from the value. As in one guy at our marina bought a sailboat that sunk to live on. The motor is toast, and he can do what he wants on the interior, which he is.

Live Aboard Question

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