Just though I'd share this bit of humor...

[Bob Todd]

The members of the national chess team were standing around in the hotel lobby after a tournament bragging about how great they all performed. This went on for a few hours when the concierge, who was boiling by now, had finally had enough and couldn't stand listening to it anymore. He rounded up every one of them and very unceremoniously evicted them from the hotel. You see...he just couldn't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer...

 

[Tom]

HA HA HA HA

Good joke! Like your web page...how'd you get the great pic's of the boat from afar?

 

[Peggie Hall/Head Mistress]

Ok...now that the standard (LOW!) has been set

for "holiday humor"...it doesn't get any worse than: MARTHA STEWART'S HOLIDAY PLANNING CALENDARDec 1Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas cardsDec 2Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.Dec 3Using candlewick and hand gilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog gardener.Dec 4Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.Dec 5Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself.Dec 6Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.Dec 7Debug Windows XPDec 10Align carpets to adjust for curvature of the Earth.Dec 11Lay Faberge egg.Dec 12Take dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.Dec 13Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.Dec 14Install plumbing in gingerbread house.Dec 15Replace air in mini-van tires with Glade "holiday scents" in case tires are shot out at mall.Dec 17Child proof the Christmas tree with garland of razor wire.Dec 19Adjust legs of chairs so each Christmas dinner guest will be the same height when sitting at his or her assigned seat.Dec 20Dip sheep and cows in egg whites and roll in confectioner's sugar to add a festive sparkle to the pasture.Dec 21Drain city reservoir; refill with mulled cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks.Dec 22Float votive candles in toilet tank.Dec 23Seed clouds for white Christmas.Dec 24Do my annual good deed. Go to several stores. Be seen engaged in last minute Christmas shopping, thus making many people feel less inadequate than they really are.Dec 25Bear son. Swaddle. Lay in color coordinated manger scented with homemade potpourri.Dec 26Organize spice racks by genus and phylum.Dec 27Build snowman in exact likeness of God.Dec 31New Year's Eve! Give staff their resolutions. Call a friend in each time zone of the world as the clock strikes midnight in that country.

 

[Bill O'Donovan]

Related story, and true

During the Civil War, a group of attorneys were huddle one night before a roaring fireplace at a country inn in Illinois. In comes Gen. U.S. Grant, beaten from the bitter cold and a long ride. One of the men laughed and said, "Look at Grant, he looks like he just came in from Hell." Grant replied, "And it was just as it is here -- lawyers all closest to the fire!"

 

[Bob Todd]

TOM: The sailing pics on my web page were taken...

...by a professional, Billy Black, of Portsmouth, RI (www.billyblack.com). They were part of a photo shoot for Cruising Direct Sails. One of the pics was used in their ad in the Sep/Oct/Nov issues of "Cruising World" magazine.The photo shoot was great fun. I never expected for the pics to be in a magazine, just thought they'd be in a sales brochure.After all was done, we got back to the marina, went up to the Outrigger Restaurant and had some beers and apps. A totally fun day.Cheers,Bob