Just curious

[flynhi4u]

I am curious about something concerning all the "Adimrals" out there. How many of your wifes, girlfriends, SO's actually sail your boat by themselves or without you?
Every since Cindy and I got our boat almost 4 years ago we have been working towards getting her to where she can sail the boat solo, or at least with a friend who she could direct to help her when she needs a hand holding something. We took another step closer to that goal last Thursday night when she kicked me out of the boat, luckily into the dinghy, while she sailed back and forth in front of me while I took pics of her and the new sails.

She did a great job and really just wanted to set course and sail instead of constantly tacking back and forth. After 6 or 8, ok, maybe 10 passes, I could tell she was over me hollering "Tack!" at her when she got out of photo range. Heck, she was probably wore out LOL! She took off on a beam reach and toyed with me for a bit trying to make me catch her in the dinghy but with a 25 cc outboard the best I could do was keep up. Just when I thought I was catching her a puff would come along and away she would go. Cindy was kind enough to heave too and let me catch her and climb back aboard.
It was great to see her sailing by herself. She did great and I had total confidence that she would do fine. I have taught a lot of people to fly and I am always as excited for them on their first solo as they are. I was really stoked that she took another step towards our goal. Cindy really doesn't consider this her first solo since she was not the only one on the boat from start to finish. We compromised and called it her first "assisted" solo.
I know that on the right day she could totally do it all, especially if she had a friend with her to help out entering and leaving the slip. Part of me is hoping that she just gets a wild hair some day and just goes for it. I told her to have at it, if she dings up the boat I can fix it. I think starting the OB is probably what is holding her back. Sometimes she fires it right up and other times she just can't get it. She dinged her right shoulder pretty good down hill skiing this past season and is going to get it looked at today. Maybe after she gets that taken care of she will have a easier time starting it.
I guess a poll would be the easiest way to ask this but I was not sure how to do one. So how about it, does your Admiral sail solo? Does she want to? I know there are a lot of women who sail, just seems like most the members I see on this site are of the male variety.

Curious in Indiana,
Sam

 

[Charlie Jones s/v Tehani]

My ex would some times take the boat out for a week or 10 days single hand.

 

[flynhi4u]

My ex would some times take the boat out for a week or 10 days single hand.

Wow! We have a ways to go for that but I know Cindy would love that. She already has her sights set on when we get a bigger boat in a few years of her staying on the hook all day while I dinghy back to the slip in the morning to go to work.

Sam

 

[Jackdaw]

My sailing partner Pia had taken the First 36.7 out for weekends at a time solo... two days of sailing plus two nights on the hook somewhere. Autopilot, lazy jacks, electric halyard winch, roller furling jib and anchor windlass help. But you still gotta know your stuff.

 

[flynhi4u]

The anchor is another issue we are still working on. No windlass and sometimes it can take quite the pull if it gets a good bite in the clay. Your right Jackdaw, just a lot of stuff to know.

 

[Jackdaw]

The anchor is another issue we are still working on. No windlass and sometimes it can take quite the pull if it gets a good bite in the clay. Your right Jackdaw, just a lot of stuff to know.

Yea but you guys are doing it right. Take it in manageable steps. Keep it FUN at all times.

 

[Kings Gambit]

The anchor is another issue we are still working on. No windlass and sometimes it can take quite the pull if it gets a good bite in the clay.

Bring the boat "up short" (anchor line vertical, straight to the bottom), cleat rode tight, then let the boat bob and swing some and the anchor should break out in a minute or two. If not, power ahead a bit to break it out.

 

[BudGates]

I wish I could get my wife more interested in sailing the boat herself. It's been baby steps all the way. I taught her to use a tiller by paddling our Hobie Cat as she steered (wish I still had that boat). It was a good experience for her and gave us something to do when there wasn't any wind but she still gets nervous whenever I ask her to take the tiller for a minute or two.

 

[Kings Gambit]

The "admiral" has raced this boat (Avatar) in cruising (non-spin) class with crew--e.g., other women--me not aboard, as well as earlier boats we've owned with other women or kids as crew. But, has never taken one on a solo (or w/friend) overnight cruise. I don't she'd want to; the point is for us to go together!! So, I'm not too sure the goal of having the admiral learn to solo the boat and practice doing so unless that is needed to "keep up interest" in sailing, etc.

 

[flynhi4u]

I hear you Gambit, we too enjoy sailing together. I have soloed the boat several times and just found it boring without Cindy. She has a way of keeping things fun and interesting
Cindy will retire from her counseling job soon and have more time to sail during the summers than I will. Our reasoning behind getting her to where she can handle the boat solo or with a helper other than me is so she can make the most of our sailing season and boat. Plus in the event something ever happened to me either on the boat or otherwise, I want her to be able to continue on without me. Cindy loves to sail and I would want to see her continue to do so if I expire first.
Many times Cindy has said "I just don't understand how someone could not love sailing. Your outside in the sun, your on the water, it is so peaceful, it's quite enough to her yourself think, and it is just so much fun to do!" Sadly for other sailors not all women think that, but for the lucky ones who have that special someone they can share the whole experience with it really is something special.

Sam

 

[Meriachee]

I don't she'd want to; the point is for us to go together

If it's only the two of you, and something happens to you, from a safety perspective, it's a good thing that she -can- solo the boat. The added (and possibly overwhelming) stress of being forced into single handing is much easier to handle if you have a level of comfort with what you're doing.

 

[Boomer54]

Hmmm. You have made me thinking about this topic! We are relatively new to sailing (4 years now). I have insisted the Admiral take lessons/classes with me because I want a sailing partner and she has done so. But, she is quite comfortable letting me "sail" the boat. Me thinks I now need to let her take the helm and start sailing the boat with me crewing for her. Thanks for the insight.

 

[Kings Gambit]

If it's only the two of you, and something happens to you, from a safety perspective, it's a good thing that she -can- solo the boat. The added (and possibly overwhelming) stress of being forced into single handing is much easier to handle if you have a level of comfort with what you're doing.

True-- but there are normally a few ways to deal with "Suddenly Skipper"-- the name of a sailing course/workshop that she once took, long ago. We don't sail far from shore in Southern California. She knows how to use the radio and who to call, to drop the sails, to fire up the diesel, and which direction to head for home if that is what is required. Probably could get the anchor up and secured as well before taking off b/c she's nearly always assisting at the helm. I think that trumps being able to continue to sail the boat as a solo hand as the primary focus. I can assure you that if I hit the water she would not be out there doing single-handed figure-eight maneuvers under sail to retrieve me!! (Unless, of course, the diesel failed to start!)

 

[MattObjects]

My wife's first experience sailing a boat herself was exactly the same as your wife's-- done while I was off in the dinghy taking photos of her underway. Since then, she has become much more confident at the helm and while her truly solo trips have been limited to a few occasions of taking the dinghy out to the boat and then bringing the boat into the dock to pick me up with all of our gear, that is mostly because I tend to be available to join her during the times she would want to go sailing. There have been many, many times when she has been entirely responsible for sailing the boat while I was aboard but engaged in something else (either working on something below or napping).

A great way to build your wife's confidence and skill as a sailor is to encourage her to crew on other boats similar in size to yours. Even crewing on a Wednesday night around-the-cans race on someone else's boat may help her see herself as a sailor in her own right in addition to being the wife of a sailor.

From one very fortunate husband to another, happy sailing!

 

[Kings Gambit]

Many times Cindy has said "I just don't understand how someone could not love sailing."

I totally agree except that if people get seasick, then it's sometimes hard to enjoy the love that they may otherwise have for the activity. Also, there's a "fear factor" that can creep in if the skipper is sailing too often on the "edge." We're VERY lucky that the admirals will go with us, and often, had have fun at it--at least most of the time!

 

[flynhi4u]

Boomer,
I had Cindy on the tiller from the start as I knew she was a bit anxious about the boat heeling and I felt I could help get past that anxiety better if she was in control of the boat and kept her focus on driving the boat instead of just being a passenger and focusing solely on how far the boat was heeling over. She soon got to the point that she was burying the rail far more often than I did as when I was at the helm I was still being cautious to not let her heel too far over. Once Cindy's confidence grew and she got comfortable with the fact the boat heels and what you have to do to prevent it from going to far, and more importantly what the boat does on it's own if you screw up and let it heel over too far, i.e. round up instead of just flipping over and sinking, her comfort level aboard the boat soared from high to sky high! Now she enjoys screwing with me by rolling the boat up on her side while I am down below or have my head buried down in a hatch. God love her.

Sam

 

[flynhi4u]

Matt,
"From one very fortunate husband to another, happy sailing!" I am not quite yet a fortunate husband as Cindy and are not married. But in 23 short days we will be. I lucked into a keeper and I am not letting her get away!!!

Sam

 

[Ward H]

I think starting the OB is probably what is holding her back. Sometimes she fires it right up and other times she just can't get it. She dinged her right shoulder pretty good down hill skiing this past season

You might want to consider getting an electric start OB to eliminate that issue. One forum member related how he and his Admiral were stuck for a few days in an isolated cove when he hurt his shoulder and could not pull start the OB and neither could the Admiral. He went to electric start after that.
My Admiral loves being on the boat but has no interest in sailing it other than to man the helm on occasion. She would never be able to pull start an OB or even lower it, if I was incapacitated. For those reasons I upgraded to an electric start and power trim OB when I needed a new one. When we get to the boat her job is to lower and start the OB while I get other things ready. She also knows how to activate the DSC Emergency Call on the radio if needed. In fact I go over these things with anybody going out for a sail with me.
Those who have wives who actively participate in sailing are very lucky. If we had started when we were younger I believe my wife would have participated more but I consider myself lucky that she wants to be on the boat. Not all wives do.

 

[pateco]

I am working on this with my wife. However, she is still a little fearful. She has done some longer transits as crew (Bahamas, Grand Cayman), but never actively sailing the boat. She can steer a course, but gets confused/nervous regarding sail handling. I have been having her learn main and jib trim, and she understand how to tack and jibe, but I don't know if she would be comfortable doing this on her own. How do you instill this confidence in a positive way. If I am aboard she will always defer to me rather than making any of the decisions on her own.

I am working on this with my teenage sons as well (ages 16 and 19). would love to feel comfortable letting them take the Stargazer out on their own, but with them I'm worried mostly about dockside boat handling. We dock in a tight canal requiring a 360° spin in close proximity to other expensive boats when we return to our dock. I've tried to get them to dock the boat by themselves, but they always freak out and give the helm back to me when we get close to the spin point.

Any helpful suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[Kings Gambit]

Yeah-this all became much "better" for us once past the OB stage of boating. Your solution of "fixing" that problem with electrical power is a very wise one.