A man went to the dentist. He had noticed his dentures were becoming pitted and discolored. The dentist looked at them and asked: “Have you been cleaning them regularly?” The man replied he was The dentist then asked if he had changed anything in his diet, to which the man replied: “Not really, but then, my wife served me asparagus with hollandaise sauce. I never had hollandaise sauce before and I really liked it. So she’s been putting it on everything.” “Well”, said the dentist, “Did you know that hollandaise sauce is loaded with lemon juice, and that high concentrations of acidic food like lemons break down the denture material?” The man replied he did not know that and asked what could be done. The dentist said; “I’ll make you a new set of dentures, but this time I’ll make them out of chrome so they’ll be more resistant to this sort of thing.” “Will it work?” the man asked. “Well”, said the dentist, “Everyone knows that there’s no plates like chrome for the hollandaise.” Happy Holidays to ALL! Cheers, Bob (Linkage below to my website)
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Thanks Bob,
that really helps. It's a cold, dreary day here on the North Coast(Erie). We could use more holiday humor like that. Only four months to splash. OK, maybe five.
that really helps. It's a cold, dreary day here on the North Coast(Erie). We could use more holiday humor like that. Only four months to splash. OK, maybe five.
Also something different
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella > Awards: > > The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled > coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired > the Stella Awards for the most FRIVOLOUS successful lawsuits in the > United States. > > The following are this year's candidates: > > 1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, TX, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of > her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was > running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were > understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving > little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son. > > 2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical > expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. > Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the > car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps. > > 3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, PA, was leaving a house he had just > finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage > door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He > couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and > garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and > Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He > subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. > He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him > undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. > > 4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, AK, was awarded $14,500 and medical > expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's > beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award > was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just > a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it > repeatedly with a pellet gun. > > 5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of > Lancaster, PA, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her > coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had > thrown > it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. > > 6. Kara Walton of Claymont, DE, successfully sued the owner of a night > club in a neighboring city when she fell from the Ladies Room window to > the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. > Walton was trying to sneak through the window to avoid paying the $3.50 > cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. > > 7. This year's favorite could easily be Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, > OK. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On > his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise > control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back > and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V. left the > freeway, crashed and overturned. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not > advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. > The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company > actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case > there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles. > Can you believe these? This E mail goes around every year, thought I'd bring it to this site. Scott S/V Hello Dolly > > > > >
It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella > Awards: > > The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled > coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired > the Stella Awards for the most FRIVOLOUS successful lawsuits in the > United States. > > The following are this year's candidates: > > 1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, TX, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of > her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was > running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were > understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving > little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son. > > 2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical > expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. > Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the > car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps. > > 3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, PA, was leaving a house he had just > finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage > door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He > couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting the house and > garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and > Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He > subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. > He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him > undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. > > 4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, AK, was awarded $14,500 and medical > expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's > beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award > was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just > a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it > repeatedly with a pellet gun. > > 5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of > Lancaster, PA, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her > coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had > thrown > it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument. > > 6. Kara Walton of Claymont, DE, successfully sued the owner of a night > club in a neighboring city when she fell from the Ladies Room window to > the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. > Walton was trying to sneak through the window to avoid paying the $3.50 > cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. > > 7. This year's favorite could easily be Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, > OK. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On > his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise > control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back > and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V. left the > freeway, crashed and overturned. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not > advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. > The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company > actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case > there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles. > Can you believe these? This E mail goes around every year, thought I'd bring it to this site. Scott S/V Hello Dolly > > > > >
Thanks, Bob Todd
I showed that one to my wife this a.m. and she cracked up. She's a dental hygenist and insisted that I print a copy for her to take to the office this morning. Holiday cheer to you and yours, Tom
I showed that one to my wife this a.m. and she cracked up. She's a dental hygenist and insisted that I print a copy for her to take to the office this morning. Holiday cheer to you and yours, Tom
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