Holiday ramp antics and rants

Dan H · May 22, 2009

My favorite is when I try to run over the people sitting at the ramp and laughing at everyone for entertainment. I act like I can't back up the trailer and try to mow them down. Came close a few times.

I loathe the people that sit at the ramp and laugh at everyone else.
Go do something productive. Go help someone, but don’t sit there and laugh at people having a hard time. People that sit at the ramp for entertainment are the most worthless people on the planet!

There's my rant.

Bob V · May 22, 2009

breweraz said:
With another holiday weekend approaching us trailer sailors who brave the crowds will be dealing with the ramp antics. Ramp antics never cease to amaze me….scary, amusing, unbelievable but for the most part entertaining if you are viewing from a distance.

Here are a few of my favorite categories:

Nautical guy – The guy with a check list of 50 launch procedures that he chooses to perform at the ramp, including taking the covers off the boat, hooking up the gas can, untangling ropes and inflating air toys. Just when you think it is over performs the mandatory double check.

Family guy – At the ramp and prior to launch he loads all of the coolers, skis, tubes, bags, kids relatives and bags of whatever on the boat. Of course no one on the boat knows how to operate the boat so it is pushed off the trailer, and tied to the load side of the dock while he goes and parks the trailer.

I can squeeze in it in there guy. – Backs in his boat with inches to spare on either side, drops and runs.

By the book new guy – Admiral has the how to launch guide and is proudly reading off step by step instructions except that one critical step regarding the stern plug.

The quick launch guy. – Accelerate down the ramp and slam the brakes on to launch the boat when someone yells stop. Oops forgot to tie it off and away it goes or better yet…the person yelling stop was the other boat and he hits the brakes before the boat get to the water. ( I have actually seen this happened followed by I forgot to put the truck in park before I got out to chase my boat)

Pontoon guy – Launches with ease then ties up at ramp side of dock while 20 people load gear, 5 coolers, 3 cases of beer, kids fighting over who sits where and all waiting for pontoon guy to return from parking the trailer.

The mechanic – You know your are in for a wait when he proudly exclaims I just replaced the starter this morning I hope it works…then the tool box comes out.

Look at me I am on a boat crowd – generally ski boats, young, nice bikinis and way too much beer even by 9 am. There is always one proud person who states I know how to operate a boat…it is just like a car. Sit back and watch you are in for some good times with this one.

There are probably a lot more....what is your favorite???

The message is have fun this weekend, take it slow and enjoy the entertainment wherever it may come from.

Have a great holiday weekend.

Tim

Tim,

Nice list but I think you forgot Grumpy Guy.

"I loathe the people that sit at the ramp and laugh at everyone else.
Go do something productive. Go help someone, but don’t sit there and laugh at people having a hard time. People that sit at the ramp for entertainment are the most worthless people on the planet!"

They are doing something productive. If you are too busy (or proud) to laugh at your own mistakes, they will do it for you.

Have fun out there and don't take it to seriously.

I was the guy that was showing the new owner how to put my old mac 26 back on the trailer and did everything perfectly except take the locking pin out of the rudder. It's a lot harder to remove once the rudder is sitting on the ramp holding up the back end of the boat.

48dodge · May 22, 2009

My favorite is the guy that has obviously never backed a trailer in his life. He'll start backing down the ramp and everything looks good until it starts to veer to one side. When he tries to correct it, he turns the wrong way. The more it turns, the harder he turns in the same way until he nearly jackknifes it. Then he has to pull forward and try again, usually veering it in the other direction. I think a lot of the fun is watching some of these people load their boats at the end of the day.

Dave D · May 24, 2009

I like the guy that quotes an entire post because he figures we're too busy laughing at people on the ramp to figure out what he's talking about!

Also the guy I saw TODAY that was splashing for the first time this year in his gas guzzler. POOF, big blue cloud.

What does he do? Pushes it off the trailer, jumps in, fights it about 30 yards in, while turning the bow, then GUNS it leaving another blue cloud about the size of Texas.

He was later "escorted" in by a couple of fellas with a pontoon boat and ski ropes. No blue cloud this time

sonofasailorsailing · Jun 11, 2009

This actualy happened

Last summer, a group of us sailed across the harbor to a nice little spot called Eagle Harbor. it is part of a park and has nice rest rooms, picnic areas, etc. Also there is a boat launch. We were walking along, headed to the picnic area when a man suddenly surfaced in the boat launch. He had on a mask and was holding a chain (don't get ahead of me here.) He walked to a truck parked up the ramp and attached the chain to his trailer hitch. He got in and slowly started inching forward. The chain tightened and he kept on going, ever so slowly. A crowd had gathered by this time. Suddenly, the grill of a jeep broke the water. Then the rest of the jeep...trailer...and boat. His wife (who had said earlier "If you can get the boat on the trailer, I can do it!) got into the passenger side of the truck looking very sheepish. A tow truck arived and hauled the Jeep and boat away.

Tim R. · Jun 18, 2009

I once saw a guy coming into the dock at the boat ramp in a small trailer sailor that looked brand new. He was going DDW with the boom hung out over the dock and he sailed it right up onto the concrete ramp almost taking out everyone standing on the dock. Turns out it was his first time sailing and had no idea how to stop. No BS.

Dan H · Jun 18, 2009

Tim,
Are you sure that wasn't me coming in to Ludington?
I sailed right up to the dock and let the main sheet fly. The boom swung over and hit the dock pilings. The nice power boaters grabbed the boat and said, "Where's you dock line?" I had to reply, "I don't have one. I used for a jib sheet" It was only a 13 footer and we jumped out into two feet of water.... and walked past the sign that said, STAY OUT OF THE WATER DUE TO HIGH BACTERIA LEVELS. Oh Brother.

That was my first time sailing up to a dock. All the rest of the times I usually sail right up on the sandy beach and step out of the boat.

biorapper · Jun 18, 2009

Having had my motor broke for about a year and a half...I got alot of practice saling up to a dock. I have found that one can usually find an angle to the ramp that goes into the wind (some may involve 180's or going to the ramp end....you get the boat down to a speed that you can hop off and quickly tie to the cleat.

One time though I had a wind shift and what was close to a beam reach became ddw at the last second....I leaped of the boat, ran down the ramp and hopped onto the concrete ramp, absorbed the boat energy at the bow and slowly retreated as I stopped the boat just before it hit concrete. Gave some people a show...felt pretty good, and pretty lucky about it (both the wind and my boat were pretty light).

Timo42 · Aug 5, 2009

Then there is this guy, just picked up a Whaler, maiden voyage, first time at a launch ramp, wife and teenage kid as witnesses, we had just launched when we noticed a commotion at the other finger dock, guy had backed too far in and hadn't unhooked trailer winch from boweye. Did I mention it was a Whaler? They are virtually unsinkable. Front of the boat lifts the back of the truck, no traction on rear tires, instead of stepping on brakes, locking front wheels which were still on dry land, launcher jumps out of truck and grabs front bumper of Ranger pickup to stop it. Slowly, step by step, inch by inch, he is losing the battle. I pulled my 3/4ton 4x4 with trailer attached down the ramp in front of him and threw him a dockline . By then the front bumper of the truck is grounding on the ramp and he and his buddy can't seem to find anywhere to tie to. I tried to throw my rigging knife to the teenager with instructions to cut the boat loose, but Dad didn't want to hear it. I suggest around the wheel but it's too late, the cab started to fill with water, so the only thing to do is throw the dock line to the kid and pull the boat to the dock, then the harbor patrol showed up. Snapped the pic after parking the truck and walking back to the ramp. Those Whalers don't sink. Took two hours and a diver to get him out. Could have picked up a Whaler cheap o Craigslist that night I bet. Do you think he will ever live this down?

Mike4116 · Aug 11, 2009

Here's one for ya'...
A fellow launched his boat with his wife sitting in the cockpit. He let the boat drift away from the dock and when it was out of his reach he instructed his wife to "throw me (him) a line". She promptly tossed the line except it wasn't fastened to the boat; just a length of dock line. He then instructed her to start the boat and motor up to the dock. A fine idea except he had the boat keys in his pocket. I waited, expecting her to ask him to toss the keys over a distance of about forty feet. Discretion being the better part of valor and just good sense he jumped into the water, swam to the boat, got on board, started the engine and motored to the dock. No lost keys, no lost tempers, all's well that ends well...

Holiday ramp antics and rants

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