Heard on the radio last July

Don S/V ILLusion · Aug 27, 2010

That almost tops the conversation I heard one day from a power boater who had obviously just pulled up to the fuel dock:

"John, are you listening?
Roger , I'm here.
Good! John, do I have a diesel engine?"

RonRelyea · Aug 27, 2010

Not sail related but even more infuriating!!

read this in the paper over the weekend:
"Last fall, two men with teenage sons pressed the help button on a device they were carrying as they hiked the challenging backcountry of Grand Canyon National Park. Search and rescue sent a helicopter, but the men declined to board, saying they had activated the device because they were short on water.
The group’s leader had hiked the Grand Canyon once before, but the other man had little backpacking experience. Rangers reported that the leader told them that without the device, “we would have never attempted this hike.”
The group activated the device again the next evening. Darkness prevented a park helicopter from flying in, but the Arizona Department of Public Safety sent in a helicopter whose crew could use night vision equipment.
The hikers were found and again refused rescue. They said they had been afraid of dehydration because the local water “tasted salty.” They were provided with water.
Helicopter trips into the park can cost as much as $3,400 an hour, said Maureen Oltrogge, a spokeswoman for Grand Canyon National Park.
So perhaps it is no surprise that when the hikers pressed the button again the following morning, park personnel gave them no choice but to return home. The leader was issued a citation for creating hazardous conditions in the parks."
ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Ross · Aug 27, 2010

Re: Not sail related but even more infuriating!!

When did they repeal Darwin's law?

gmeyerga · Aug 27, 2010

CG radio talk

Undoubtedly, the CG has a protocol on how to respond to an
emergency call, but it does not seem to leave room for common sense. Although it may have been embellished with time the whole transmission reported here sounds sadly familiar.
But I also know that if the CG radio crew is experienced and UNDERSTANDS the call, it can override the protocol. I've heard
that often enough. The endless questions then begin afterwards.

My favorite (but not very recent) example of CG protocol:
When a huge container ship got stuck on a making tide coming into
the Savannah River, the pilot reported the event to the CG.
Then the questions started.
How many people are on board ? Is anybody hurt? Does everybody
wear a PFD? etc. etc. And, of course, every question was preceded
by three calls (vessel xyz) and three identifications (CG Station Tybee). Finally, the exasperated pilot ended all further conversation
with: "Look, we are kind of busy now".
I stayed glued to the radio but heard nothing more. I always assumed the commanding officer had come into the radio room.

While I am at it: Not all people are equally easy to understand on
VHF. Some of the CG radio operators I find hard to make out. Could
be my old ears, but it could also be that the CG never listens to
itself.

capejt · Aug 28, 2010

I hate to say this, but it sounds like a typical weekend on Long Island Sound. Every year it seems more and more to be the home of "If I can afford it, I don't need to know how to use it".
Another strong argument for stricter licensing requirements.

Don12364 · Aug 28, 2010

The UK CG are just the same. It was a lovely light weather summer's day. It was at the top of the tide when I heard a Dutch lady call our CG in the Solent to report they had just stuck on a (popular) local sandbank. We could hear her husband in the background hollering for her to come and help get the boat off. She went off air.
A minute later the CG called her back and proceeded to go though his check list of questions - how many people on board etc. More hollering from the skipper and she shut down again.
Another minute later the CG called them again. More trivial questions followed.

I could hardly restrain myself but waited until my next LSAR meeting (Local Search & rescue) when I had a word with our local CG chief. I explained the yachtsman's point of view. Her first duty was to help save the ship so, after making a brief report and giving the problem and location, she needed to assist the skipper. Also, on such a day there was little risk to life or limb - or even to the yacht.
He apologised and agreed to vary their procedure.
But I believe little has changed, the checklist still rules supreme and woe-betide the operator who does not gather the full facts!

RAD · Aug 28, 2010

And then here's my all time favorite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY

RAD · Aug 28, 2010

On a serious note in July while rounding Montauk there was a 40 something white and blue Sea Ray hailing the CG cause all three bilge pumps were on and he was freaking out and telling them to hurry cause he had 5 people and a dog on board and he never looked to see where the water was coming in, a nearby vessel came to assist and it turns out he lost a shaft the veteran boater stuffed the hole and called the CG that all was under control till a tow boat with a bigger pump arrives
Another nautical nitwit on the water

Alan · Aug 28, 2010

Here's mine

Transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship: Please divert your course 05 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
CND reply: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.
US Ship: This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.
CND reply: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!
US Ship: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA*, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!
CND reply: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

Rick D · Aug 28, 2010

Re: CG radio talk

My pet peeve is when the CG issues an alert to be on the watch for whatever and then just once gives lat /lon without any geographic reference. I guess we're supposed to have recording equipment or a radio operator. Also, it would help if they gave some diction training along with the radio.

Maine Sail · Aug 28, 2010

Read this today while passing by JO Brown's and had a good chuckle, amongst dodging lobster pots. From Tenants Harbor to NE Harbor over a 7 hour period I counted 11 conversations, not hails, on 16 where the USCG stepped in and told them to find another chanel, or basically "find a hotel room for your love fest boys"

... You'd think eventually folks would learn but no they never seem to..

Also flipped the bird to a captain of a 50+ foot yacht/tug who blatantly ignored the COLREGS on me in a 150% A-HOLE move, when he cut between me and a day mark on the wrong side of the thorofare. I was under sail but also very clearly restricted by draft and already hugging the shallows and keeping to my side of the thorofare. I made my intentions very clear from about 1/4 mile then 1/8 mile by moving more to my side of the thorofare and into even shallower water, still I finally had to jibe to let him have his way. Looked right at me with a "who do you think you are, I have more money than you" attitude. You could tell by his body language and vessel moves that he damn well knew the regs but just did not care. In hindsight I should have held my course and forced him into the ledge as he was only feet from it.. Can't for the life of me figure out why he insisted on doing what he did other than he was just a D!CK...

Maine used to only get the most competent of skippers but with the advent of electronic toys we are now just like any lake on a Saturday in July..

Stu Jackson · Aug 28, 2010

Rick D said:
My pet peeve is when the CG issues an alert to be on the watch for whatever and then just once gives lat /lon without any geographic reference. I guess we're supposed to have recording equipment or a radio operator. Also, it would help if they gave some diction training along with the radio.

I concur. It is ludicrous. Boat catches on FIRE here a few years ago, and they don't bother saying where it is. We were in anchorage and could see it, but others were already there. The CG station is just south of the bridge and could probably see the boat ablaze, but they kept using the damn lat/lon. Oh, no, then they said the boat was south of the bridge when it was clearly north of the bridge. They, like some TV and radio weathermen, ought to look out their windows more often. And look at a chart when they report stuff.

Oh, they also ought to earn the difference between ddd mmm sss and dd mm and sec.decimal.

Other than that, Vessel Traffic Service, housed in the same building or at least in the same base, gets it right all of the time.

Ross · Aug 28, 2010

I saw a tongue in cheek statement today , "I can afford it. I don't have to know how it works."

Dan Johnson · Aug 28, 2010

Alan...

thanks for that quote--I was looking for that very dialog for a discussion on situational awareness next week. Thanks!

Ray Bowles · Aug 29, 2010

We noticed when we were crusing the Gulf Coast that many of the CG messages were said so fast that they were very hard to understand. Throw in different local accents and it gets even harder. If they would teach the radio operators to speak slower it would help alot.
Ray