Headset communication or "marriage savers"

Jun 14, 2010
2,081
Robertson & Caine 2017 Leopard 40 CT
I've done it! Been a boat owner since 1977, been married to my current crew for 31 years, and we’ve always done just fine communicating between bow and helm with hand signals . Never any shouting. We have it worked out. However I've read a few threads about “marriage savers” and decided to give it a try.
The added communication makes things much better for all involved, and reduces stress by enabling both people to give more information about what they are doing, seeing, and intending to do. Definitely worth a try folks.
I got the Sena SPH10 model and chose it because it uses Bluetooth (opening up more possible uses) and mainly because the headband goes around the back of the head (so you can we’re a hat). The sound is very adequate, even in windy conditions. Clear but not what I would consider "high fidelity".
The Eartec brand is reputed to have better quality sound and better customer service, but the headband goes over the top of the head, interfering with the fit of a hat.
Try one or the other. They’re expensive but it improves the pleasure of boating with your crew.
 

capta

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Jun 4, 2009
4,766
Pearson 530 Admiralty Bay, Bequia SVG
Not to be rude, but what is there to discuss when anchoring, mooring, and docking, especially with a crew member you have sailed with for quite some time? Anchoring, it's the depth from the helm (where the depth finder is) to the person forward and some indication of when the person on the helm wants the anchor to drop. Docking, at most it is the distance in whatever units from the dock. Doesn't everybody just point at the mooring with the boat hook when it goes out of the helmsperson's view?
 
Jan 1, 2006
7,040
Slickcraft 26 Sailfish
Not to be rude, but what is there to discuss when anchoring,
My wife and I provided the Great Salt Pond on Block Island with an hour of entertainment due to that very issue. There was Harbor Blast going and we were having a hard time getting the boat into an anchoring slot - not actually in the slot but a rode's length upwind of it. So I'd get the boat where I wanted it and called for her to drop the anchor. The reply was "What?" By that time we were blown out of position. After several tries I invited her to the cockpit for a consultation. The point of it was that it really didn't matter what I said at the time to drop the anchor. We couldn't hear each other anyway. So any signal from me, a hand raised, a slash across my neck, several rapid blinks, and dance around the tiller, all mean drop the f'ing anchor. The signal couldn't mean pull the anchor up because it was already up. That was 25 years ago and we are still married but I often wonder how our marriage survived some of our sailing adventures.
 
Jun 14, 2010
2,081
Robertson & Caine 2017 Leopard 40 CT
As I wrote in my initial post, we have done without these for many years and have a system worked out, no yelling. These devices help. There are times when the bow person can’t point or give hand signals because that person has hands occupied and/or might be pulling hard.
“I’m going to do this next”. “Do —— next”. “We’re overrunning” “I can’t hold position - Let it go we’ll go around”. All helps to communicate when hands are busy.
You can justify less and you can go on living without. I did for many years, and my only reason for posting is that I’m sharing experience.
Would you say having radar is a waste of money? You lived without it many years, but having (or sharing) more information is helpful at times. You who make fun of it should open your minds.
 
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WayneH

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Jan 22, 2008
1,039
Tartan 37 287 Pensacola, FL
That communication from the stern to the bow is important to the Admiral and I. She can see things I want to know. SOG and depth. Having headsets means we don't have to yell back and forth. And when I am raising the anchor and have both hands full of muddy anchor chain, the VOX lets me tell her that it's "Your boat".

We've had a "No YELLING!!!" policy since our first boat which was only 16 feet long. And yes, there were times when I dearly wanted to yell but refrained.
 
Apr 21, 2014
184
Hunter 356 Middle River, MD
Kids got us a set a couple of years ago and I know they really help when your hands are busy, you are not facing the other person but you need to communicate and a person is at the helm, the dodger and Bimini are up to block sound without yelling and the other is at the bow.

Any time we are anchoring, picking up a mooring ball or coming to the dock we use ours.

Even got a nice comment when we were snaking through an anchorage and the people saw we were wearing them and not yelling or having to talk loudly to get it done.

Jeff
 
Mar 2, 2019
433
Oday 25 Milwaukee
We have the no yelling rule in our house as well as on the boat. We try to talk through what we plan on doing before docking or anchoring. I'm blessed my wife and myself understand "Riggers sign language " It's used in crane operations . Against my better judgment ,I agreed to buy the Sena intercoms for our motorcycles.
They have helped immensely . We will be getting a set for the boat ,probably as a Christmas present .
There are many times I am not able to understand either what is being said ,or what needs to be done .
I hit a submerged steel pier several years ago ,as I was coming into a slip . I couldn't see it from the cockpit. The crew on the bow certainly could!!!!!
 
Mar 26, 2011
3,402
Corsair F-24 MK I Deale, MD
Although they may have helped early on (I had a PDQ cruising cat then--don't go by my avitar), in time we didn't need them and would have left them on the bunk. In fact, IMO they are a deterant to proper learning in most cases. You have a plan and you have hand signals. A head set is no substitute for a plan. There should be no need to talk.

Additionally, a loud voice is NOT yelling, and that is something that needs to be understood. That understanding is part of a good marriage, which I have.
 
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